Broken heart.

[choice]

Tonight has been a really tough one. I'm logging into MWO because I feel so lonely and I've learned that is my main trigger. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. My fiance and I decided to call off our engagement. Everything feels unreal. I can't believe this is happening. :upset:

While we were talking I just wanted to run to a hotel and just drown my sorrows and I wanted to smoke for the first time since quitting. I can't believe I rode both cravings out.

We didn't fight, we agreed to disagree. I'm looking at the ring right now and can't believe how short lived this engagement was. I also can't believe the deal breaker came down to differences of opinion regarding alcohol consumption. I really was so hopeful for my future with him. A week ago I was looking at bride magazines, now I'm trying to figure out when to get a flight home. I think I need to get on a plane as soon as possible so I can be with family.

[hillsidetime]

Broken heart.

Choice, I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I am sending you a big hug through the internet. I can't imagine what you are feeling, but somewhere inside you should have
pride for riding those difficult cravings on such a bad day.

I wish I had battled alcohol before my marriage. Perhaps some day, down the road, you will be glad about this too. Hang in there, keep rebuilding yourself, get through the Holidays sober. Time does help to heal a little bit.


I hope you get with your family soon.

Hill

[choice]

Broken heart.

Thanks Hillside, I'm really glad I don't have AL or smokes in the house. That was a good plan I made a while ago. I can't see how either one would help right now. Oh god this hurts. I think it's for the best though. I don't want to argue about drinking with him anymore. It's too hard on me when I'm trying my best to stay sober. I do think he should do what he wants, I'm not trying to end his fun. I just don't think he is very nice when he drinks. It makes me nervous. I don't want to live like that. I also think it's threatening to my sobriety. God I hope I'm doing the right thing sticking to my guns. I am... I just feel sick to loose him though.

[gyco]

Broken heart.

choice

choice;1024076 wrote: Tonight has been a really tough one. I'm logging into MWO because I feel so lonely and I've learned that is my main trigger. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. My fiance and I decided to call off our engagement. Everything feels unreal. I can't believe this is happening. :upset:

While we were talking I just wanted to run to a hotel and just drown my sorrows and I wanted to smoke for the first time since quitting. I can't believe I rode both cravings out.

We didn't fight, we agreed to disagree. I'm looking at the ring right now and can't believe how short lived this engagement was. I also can't believe the deal breaker came down to differences of opinion regarding alcohol consumption. I really was so hopeful for my future with him. A week ago I was looking at bride magazines, now I'm trying to figure out when to get a flight home. I think I need to get on a plane as soon as possible so I can be with family.

good morning,CHOICE,it is a good thing you found out b4 you got married,i to went thro the same 36 years ago i met a better partner,weve been together,36 years,if the hurt from all this doesnt make you want drink or smoke you have found success in a different way,i wish you all the best gyco:goodjob::thanks:

[greeneyes]

Broken heart.

choice;1024085 wrote: God I hope I'm doing the right thing sticking to my guns. I am... I just feel sick to loose him though.

Choice, I'm sorry this has happened to you. :l I can feel your pain through your words. But it lifts my spirits to also feel your resolve to put yourself and your sobriety first. Painful as it feels, nothing, not even this relationship, is more important. It shows that you know it in your heart. And your heart you must follow. :l:l Huge congratulations on not drinking. Sending you peace and strength!

[Captainjack]

Broken heart.

choice are you in love?

[Brigitte Bardot]

Broken heart.

I am so very sorry Choice, it's so painful when a relationship ends. I wish there was something I could say to make the pain lessen for you.

[choice]

Broken heart.

Thanks for the support everyone, I'm just reading and re-reading the replies, I'm glad I'm online. Yes, Captainjack I am in love. I feel really disoriented. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to miss him terribly. I still can't believe this is happening.

[Brigitte Bardot]

Broken heart.

Having to let go of someone you love, it really breaks my heart for you. I know how hard it is.. you've done a really strong thing by not picking up the bottle. If I did that I would sink myself into a self pity hole that would take me a very long to drag myself out of. And I think that really shows a strong person inside.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Broken heart.

Choice sorry this has happened but if he truly is your soul mate he will see sense and do what is right for you both. Call me naive but I believe true love can conquer all.

[Sunbeam]

Broken heart.

Choice, sounds like you are choosing sobriety for yourself, would prefer that for him. I'm just not seeing that as a bad thing in your future. Love is grand, and it doens't mean perfection, but this sounds like an important issue. Be true to yourself.

[Panno]

Broken heart.

Choice, we have not spoken before and I have not been on the boards for a while now, but my situation is similar to yours but in reverse, my long term partner and I are seperating because of my drinking!! He will be 2 years sober in Feb and has watched me still drinking and going through moods and depression, so for him enough is enough, whilst we are still very good friends and will remain so his sobriety will always come first and that is all he wants for me too, so whilst this hurts terribly at the moment you are doing the right thing in sticking to your plan. I admire my partner so much and hopefully your fiance will see the same.

[anon]

Broken heart.

Big Hugs. Do not have the words but I just want you to know that I care.

[sunshine_gg]

Broken heart.

Choice, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It doesn't really matter what the circumstances are - it just plain hurts. :l

But you are also showing a tremendous amount of strength right now - I applaud you. I hope you will be home and among family soon.

xo

[mylife]

Broken heart.

Choice, I have to say I so admire your strenght to get through something like this sober! You have my utmost respect. I feel that in retrospect you will know that you made the right decision here. There are so many people who ignore big problems before getting married and then act surprised that they didn't just go away! I am one of them, I know!

I think you made the right decision and I have to say wonderful job on handling this without AL. I have found that everything goes so much better without AL!! Hang in there.

:l:l