Out of control and scared

[Tui]

Hi everyone

I suppose the only way to start is to tell you a bit about myself. I am a 43 year old, married mother of 2 and I have been drinking for as long as I can remember. My Father is an alcoholic, so I was exposed to it at a fairly young age. I had always thought that I was in control of the situation but I woke up this morning and finally decided that I need to be honest with myself. The catalyst was dinner at a friends house last night. I can't remember driving home, I woke up at 3am to find mtself still clothed, lying on my bed with all the lights in the house on and this morning I saw the damage I had inflicted on my car while trying to negotiate the driveway.

I know I have been using alcohol in order to avoid dealing with areas of my life that I find stressful or unsatisfactory. The first step to taking back control has been to order the book and to register on this sight.

I am really scared - in taking this step, I know that I am going to have to deal with all the other issues and it looks like it will be a long journey.

Tui

[tawnyfrog]

Out of control and scared

Hi Tui and:welcome:

I remember how scared I was when I first found this place.

You need to know that life really can get better. You will find loads of non-judgmental support here. I look forward to seeing you around.

Tawny

[Guest]

Out of control and scared

Tui,
Honesty is a GREAT place to start.

It is scarey deciding to be honest, but its such a relief also.
Well done
Brigid

[KatBlois]

Out of control and scared

Tui

Your post scared me.... My wake up call was passing out with a smoke while watching tv in my bedroom, we are both very, very lucky we were able to wake up later. I had been searching for a long time, and I know you've arrived in the right place.

I'm sorry but I have two questions that are really bugging me;
Why did your friends let you drive home?
and
Where was your husband?

Stay with us, and keep coming back, I haven't been here very long, but the support you'll recieve here will help you stay strong.... You are alone no more

Kat

[stollies1]

Out of control and scared

The first step is the best way to start a journey.
You'll find some great support here from people all going through the same journey as you.
:welcome:

[Tui]

Out of control and scared

Hi Kat

My friend was as hammered as me (she has her own issues to deal with) and my husband was away, which is normal and one of the issues I have to deal with.

Life sucks at the moment but I remain positive that it can't get any worse!

Thanks so much for your message - I never realised that there were so many people out there all dealing with the same problem.

Tui

[Tui]

Out of control and scared

Thats a BIG thank you to everyone -its nice to know your not on your own.

Tui

[boycie]

Out of control and scared

Hi Tui
Welcome you are not on your own. There are so many of us going through the same thing maybe for different reasons, maybe not but our ultimate goal is the same. You have come to the right place here you will find many wonderful and supportive people. These message boards have some truely inspirational stories that may just get you through a hard night or moment. Hang in there we are all here for each other.

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Out of control and scared

Tui

45 with 2 kids here....

Don't know how it happened to me, but over the years, my nightly drinking just grew and grew. This drinking thing doesn't fit with who I see myself as otherwise, and certainly doesn't fit with the mother I am and want to be. I have been here since May. I have gotten so much better. Stick around!!

Beth

[Dipsa]

Out of control and scared

Me 45 with 2 kids, too, lots of issues to try to deal with healthily. Welcome and best of luck!

[Andy1111]

Out of control and scared

Hi,
You'll find strength here. Just to show you that alcohol can affect anyone, I am a 29 year old male, a rarity on this board, which is full of women. Oh well, I wish men were more honest with their problems.
-A

[Tui]

Out of control and scared

Thanks so much everyone - got the book today. Had family for dinner last night and didn't over indulge! Tired but hanging in there. Thanks for all your support - your a great bunch of people

Tui

[Angel3786]

Out of control and scared

Tui: don't be scared about dealing with your other issues, your alternative of not dealing with them and to continue drinking is MORE scary, isn't it? I mean you could end up dead or killing someone else if you continue. Look at it as a huge positive step forward in changing your life for the good. Don't be scared, be motivated to be a strong, healthy, happy person who is taking charge of her life.

As you can tell, you are not alone! Keep reading and posting and let us know how you're doing. We are all in this together!
Angel3786

[AMELIA]

Out of control and scared

Hey Tui,

It is great that you have found this site and even better that you have been upfront and realistic with yourself. I know it is really hard to start to sort our lives out, when we are used to dealing with our issues by 'not dealing with them with alcohol', but you are at least aware and that is the beginning.
Keep on checking in here. Are you a kiwi by any chance (the name Tui..), I am from Auckland, but am presently living in the United Kingdom.
Amelia

[Beaches]

Out of control and scared

Hi Tui
Welcome I have 3 young kids and can relate to the black outs. Very scary and definately a wake up call.
This is a very supportive group. Check out the chat room as well.