Falling..again

[okkslady]

I was doing so well. I was happy. I have a new job. I climbed out of a huge hole that I dug myself...but now I have fallen back in. Saturday after work a friend at my job asked me to go hang out and I agreed. Sounded fun because I have been keeping to myseld alot and staying home so I will not be tempted or around alcohol. We ended up going to a bar and I was tempted and drank. I thought I could have one or two but of course I couldnt. Ended up doing the same ol things that I quit for in the beginning!!! Now I sit here today, depressed and feeling like a failure and a fraud to my family. Everybody was so proud of me. I am back at that same depression stage I never wanted to be in again.

[mama bear]

Falling..again

ok...so you drank. Now shake off the depression and find the joy again.
I just did the same thing after 45 days and beat myself up. today is Day 2 and I am finding my determination.
Sending strength...

[fighting back]

Falling..again

okkslady;1025825 wrote: I was doing so well. I was happy. I have a new job. I climbed out of a huge hole that I dug myself...but now I have fallen back in. Saturday after work a friend at my job asked me to go hang out and I agreed. Sounded fun because I have been keeping to myseld alot and staying home so I will not be tempted or around alcohol. We ended up going to a bar and I was tempted and drank. I thought I could have one or two but of course I couldnt. Ended up doing the same ol things that I quit for in the beginning!!! Now I sit here today, depressed and feeling like a failure and a fraud to my family. Everybody was so proud of me. I am back at that same depression stage I never wanted to be in again.

You and me both lady. I made a complete fool of myself on Saturday and spent all day Sunday drinking and feeling sorry for myself. Too hungover for work which just adds to the feeling of shame. Let's hope we get it right this time :l

[anon]

Falling..again

ME TOO. Lets fight this demon together and tell it to F%%ck Off. We do not need this alcohol in our life to make a fool of us.

[Dewdrop]

Falling..again

Hi Okks,

I?ve missed you and wondered what had happened to you since you stopped posting. Okay before you beat yourself up take a step back and really look at how much you have achieved during the time you have been AF, and a new job too. Some people have quite a few relapses before they finally admit that for them moderation is just not an option. It?s been a valuable lesson for you so just get right back on the wagon again and put one foot in front of the other ODAT.

We are approaching a brand New Year so let?s make sure that we get through it AF, I know you can do it just get your plan in place and avoid those triggers till u are ready for them. This is my first Christmas sober and I know I need as much support as I can get and I think everyone else is the same :l

Dewdrop :h

[mylife]

Falling..again

Hi Okk,

I did the same thing last week after a long string of AF days -- what I decided afterward was that I was going to just jump back on and focus on the fact that I've been sober all month except for that slip, rather than focus on the slip. I have heard in other things that persistence pays, so I figure if we're persistent enough, it will pay off! At any rate, most of my month has been so much better than last year at this time.

Have a wonderful day -- we can all do this together.

[Mazzie]

Falling..again

Hi Okk

If we can learn from these experiences then its not a complete waste. You need to look after yourself now and get yourself back up. The way you are feeling now is something to remember for the next time there is that temptation to have just the one!!!! Sending you lots of good thoughts today.

Maz

[fighting back]

Falling..again

So, we are in this ladies. It is actually now starting to hit home to me, I am REALLY not alone. ( I hope!) :l

[fennel]

Falling..again

What mama said. Get back up, and give it another try. :l

[Doggygirl]

Falling..again

May I make a suggestion? Maybe as a way of supporting each other, you guys could share what you think went wrong, and what you will do differently next time.

As an example, I know that I absolutely do not want to end up in a bar just hanging out. That is asking for trouble for me. I try to always have some other ideas in mind for something to do if the opportunity presents itself. A decadant coffee at Starbucks for example.

This is a process - take the time to really examine the mistakes and learn from them. Have a different game plan next time.

DG

[okkslady]

Falling..again

I know I always say this but THANK U SO MUCH for the kind words, encouragement and wisdom!! Fighting Back You arent alone! I use to feel so alone and then I start talking about it more open and I found out that even people I am close to were struggling too! I feel like a fraud because I was having a conversation with my father and telling him how I was happy my eyes were open FINALLY after all these years and I can see how much alcohol affected my mood and personality. I told him if I didnt stop that alcohol would have ended my life somehow.....well saturday, I drank, put myself n bad situations....rode home with a driver who had been drinking and he had open containers in the car...I coulda lost everything in one night. My job, my life, my son.....and those are the exact reasons that I stopped to begin with!!! So why is it soooo freakn hard! Doggy Girl what I think went wrong is I became to comfortable....I let my guard down. I gave myself to much credit when I havent had enough time to heal from all the previous damage that I have done before. The girl I went out with I havent known for very long. Like I said I have been sticking to family alot and staying home because I am safe and wont want to drink...but I am lonely. When I was drinking it erased that loneliness before, and somebody said to me in the posts that we had alcohol to erase everything and now we have to deal with real life ourselves, learn to deal with life.....When I would drink I would get attention and whether it be negative attention from some idiot guy that I was drunkily (

[Sunnyvalenting]

Falling..again

The most common causes of relapse for rats and probably for people are:
1. Exposure to the substance,
2. being in the place where one used the addictive substance and
3. stress.

There is a lot of rationale for avoiding the opportunities to drink and our old haunts as well as learning relaxation methods which don't involve the risk for drinking. Sympathetic, supportive families also help as does meaningful work

It took me 14 years of failures (I drank abusively for 43 years) before I was finally able, with the help of baclofen, to be abstinent. I am now 11+ months AF and don't even think of drinking. It is no longer in me. It is amazing. I thought I'd never get out of that cycle of drinking to excess, crisis, swearing off and relapse. It must have happened a hundred times.

Some of you who have had repeated failures or haven't succeeded yet may want to consider baclofen or one of the other medical approaches. Your tenacity is a sign that you sincerely wish to fight this battle. Don't overlook a valuable ally in this campaign.

I told my son at one point that I might not win but I would continue to try. Luckily I finally found the key for my recovery. It has been quite a year.
Best of luck to all of you. Don't wait. I wish I had known about it years before.

Sunny