Quit fooling yourself women!

[jennyneric]

Quit fooling yourself women!

yes, you are numbing yourself with AL the avoid facing or thinking about your past behavior right?

[janka]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Prose, face it ... there is NOTHING you can do to change the past, nothing. What you can do is avoid repeating past mistakes and behaviors. Human beings, by definition, are imperfect and make mistakes. Forgive yourself for being human. Your thoughts are pushing you to self-medicate and get numb again. Ain't working that well I suspect ... give yourself a break and some time to heal. You may be choosing to postpone that possibility. It's up to you, and support of people like those here is truly INVALUABLE! Take good care, peace and good luck, j

[prose]

Quit fooling yourself women!

kind of, its like if I stop I have to admit to myself that i have a problem, if I keep going i can handle it, like i said, weird thinking!
I guess it is the guilt i don't want to deal with

[prose]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Thanks Janka, I am not very good at accepting imperfection, that is a huge part of the problem i think, and If I admit there is a problem i admit imperfection, all the while knowing I am anything but perfect!

[janka]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Okay Prose. I get it. I too am/was a perfectionist much to my own, and others', detriment. I guess I was an egomaniac because I could not admit that I was even capable of making such ugly, flagrant and repeated mistakes. Well ... after a long, very long, protracted clinging to the idea of perfectionism/egomania really, I learned the hard way it was ruining me. I like the freedom and fluidity of allowing myself to be human far better. I feel sooooo much better. Forget about the past, your imperfections. Just move onto the things you like, the things that make you truly feel better. Just some of my thoughts, j

[prose]

Quit fooling yourself women!

they are great thoughts, thanks for taking the time to share them! I am going to let myself be human today, and see where that goes.....
thank you again

[brightlite]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Prose,

You know what they say..."admitting you have a problem is the first step". It's that darn procrastinating voice that says I won't worry about it today, I'll quit tomorrow. We all know that voice. So instead of drinking 1/2 bottle of wine, you start drinking the whole bottle and before you know it you're drinking two bottles a night. That's too much, noone should be putting that much poison down their throats. You wake up every morning dragging your glassy eyed self out of bed. Pull yourself 1/2 together, fuzzy mind, red faced, bloated and smelly and try to go out in the world and "be normal".....ughhh such a struggle, exhausting. I haven't even mentioned the embarrassment, low self esteem and lack of confidence, its all more than one can handle day after day.

Someone once said, alcoholics aren't weak, they are some of the strongest individuals to be able to put up with the struggle and pain on a daily basis of dealing with their addiction.
And as most of the long term abbers will tell you, it is soooo much easier to just abstain.

Sorry for the ranting....I'm really saying this to myself as well as you and everyone on this thread.

[janka]

Quit fooling yourself women!

All SO true Brightlite! Well said, best, and thanks, j

[prose]

Quit fooling yourself women!

yes, well said, and when your read the effects that you have just mentioned, you think- why the hell would i do this ever agian?

[janka]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Precisely. Oh so precisely!!!

[Wintyr]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Thankyou everybody for your replies and advice, each and every reply built a strength of confidence in me. In my personal life I don't have any other females like myself, all the women in my life will have two glasses of wine then move onto tea, whilst I sit there looking at the bottom of my wine bottle wishing it would magically refill itself and being disgusted at myself at how easily I consumed it! I look over at them and feel such jealousy at how easily they dismiss that third glass. Having you all share the same feelings and understanding is the greatest medicine.
Thankyou for your warm welcomes.

[mama bear]

Quit fooling yourself women!

And Prose...stop to think what you are doing to your body. It's poison!!!

[babysteps]

Quit fooling yourself women!

some inspiring information for we 'waff-lers' to remember. I like "So instead of drinking 1/2 bottle of wine, you start drinking the whole bottle and before you know it you're drinking two bottles a night. That's too much, noone should be putting that much poison down their throats. You wake up every morning dragging your glassy eyed self out of bed. Pull yourself 1/2 together, fuzzy mind, red faced, bloated and smelly and try to go out in the world and "be normal".....ughhh such a struggle, exhausting." from britlite, and mama bear, I"ve been focusining on that 'poisin' part. I have oftened wondered, after having to drag myself into work after 1-2 bottles of wine, just if I do 'smell'? I always think not....but? and memory. That starts to not work so well. Good luck to us all.

[mama bear]

Quit fooling yourself women!

So true...I got sick of feeling horrible all the time, and I worry about the horrible example I am setting for my two teen age sons....

[janka]

Quit fooling yourself women!

You know what Mama? Maybe by seeing what AL did to their lovely mom, your sons may have learned, first hand, a very valuable lesson to avoid AL and its abuses. Just a thought, j