Quit fooling yourself women!

[Wintyr]

Hello my fellow comrades, Id like to start by commending you all for the kindness you show one another, your all very compassionate and empathetic people, really the only good thing to come from alcohol abuse... humility

You no why I was mostly coming to this site, not for help oh no, but for validation that "Im" not that dependent, that "Im" still in control of my life, I read your stories and thought "oh alcohol hasn't gripped my life to that degree, I haven't lost everything, I can go a couple of nights without drinking, Im healthy! famous last words",hmmm..... Isn't reality a cruel master, so here I am finally looking in the mirror and it aint pretty! I am definitely not in control, alcohol has me firmly in its grip and as for my health, I'm to scared to find out how my livers doing. Where the hell did I go! and how did I let it get this far.

Ive realised that my entire self worth is tied up with this addiction, my confidence is shot and my reputation when it comes to alcohol is embarrassing!

so my friends I wanted to ask your experiences with beating this thing, in 2 days when Im feeling good again after my recent bout of self abuse my brain is going to start making excuses for me to start drinking again, its such a vicious cycle of shame and Im over it. Any advice or tips would be much appreciated it. Thankyou very much.:new:

[autumn]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Hi Wintyr,

It finally beat me too.......it was the last year that was the sneakiest and quickest. I went from being a really heavy social drinker to the have to have a shot of Vodka in the morning to stop the rattles! Boy did that sneak up quickly! I despised myself and was left feeling pretty battered and baffled as i didn't see it coming.

I have tried all sorts this year to try to beat it. But just felt like a certain tool was missing and struggled to hang onto more than 4 days sober.

I am just over a month AF, damn amazing for me. I pray every morning for a sober day, never been spiritual before, but my God it does work and each day is taken a step at a time.

Ok contraversal bit.......I have also found a private Dr willing to prescribe Antabuse, I wish to god I had done this years ago. I am on a very low dose, but I KNOW I can not drink or I will get real sick. It is working for me. I do not have that damn awful daily battle of fighting with myself to stay sober. The voices and rows in my head were terrible, they left me drained and always drunk as I lost!

I know its not for every one, but it really is saving me and my sanity when all else failed.

It is early days..........but good days. I wish you luck and sending sober hugs.

:new:

[Wintyr]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Hey Autumn thankyou so much for your response, I like the way you put that "a certain tool was missing" thats exactly how I feel and yes I too manage around 4 days then convince myself Ive earned a drink! so ridiculous. I will be praying every moment to endure the fight before me, I have a feeling its going to be one of the hardest of my life

[Brigitte Bardot]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Hi there,

There came a time for me when it felt like a switch was turned on inside me. I was physically and mentally tired from fighting with it, every day. I was tired of being a slave to Alcohol, of checking my calls outgoing and incoming when I was drinking, my emails and text messages, open chats online. I was also tired of having my family worried about me, making a fool of myself. But my main driver was not having my little girl grow up with memories of me like this. At the end of the day you really do have to do it for you, enough is enough. You have to live through the withdrawls and push through the cravings. They do get easier as time goes on.

[Sunnyvalenting]

Quit fooling yourself women!

For me, after 14 years of failed attempts it was baclofen that stopped the cravings and allowed me to execute my abstinence plan finally. good luck. consider all your options and keep at it until you find something that does work. Check out the meds section as well for more info on these topics.
Welcome and good luck!
Sunny

[janka]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Hi there -- I can very much relate to BB saying a "switch" gets turned off. I just became so sick, so very sick and tried of repeating the same day/pain over and over again. I suffered through withdrawals for about three days, saying to myself that I need never to go through this again. I feel SOOOO much better physically, which helps my emotional well-being. I still have many challenges to face -- my unemployment -- but without the added depression involved in my drinking. Beer did not cheer me up and was not my friend. Peace, j

[Lavande]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Hi Wintyr,

Welcome back!

I beat AL by making a very firm commitment to myself to do so!!!!!
Use the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for ideas to help you make your plan.
Get all of the AL out of your house, skip the parties & other invitations where AL is involved for a while to give yourself a good fighting chance at success.

This has to be your #1 priority for now. If you have the Hypno CDs, use them. They really helped me to relax & change my thinking.


You can do it! Stay close to the threads, it really helped me succeed
Best Wishes!

Lav

[brightlite]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Wintyr,

I could have written your post! I'm in the same boat. I have to quit fooling myself....quit giving myself permission to drink. it's not magically going to get better. It keeps getting progressively worse. Its either stop or end up in dire consequences.

Autumn, Congrats on your month or more AF. That is a huge accomplishment. Physically you must feel better. Mentally too I'm sure. I am longing for that day. I'm tired of the struggle and want to be AF. Today is day 2.

I have made my lists of what I like and dislike about AL and what I like and dislike about being AF. Its a good exercise and makes you stop to think about your choices.

Keep posting.

[mama bear]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Just like everyone else, I just plain got tired of it. I, too, use anatabuse. I went off it for a bit and blew 45 days AF, but I am back on track, Stay close to us here, and log on when you want to talk. There is so much valuable information here. And take it ODAT. One Day At A Time.
Welcome to our Family!!

[janka]

Quit fooling yourself women!

Congratulations ladies!!! Pop in from time to time and let us know how you are doing, j

[mama bear]

Quit fooling yourself women!

good to see you poasting again Janka

[Guest]

Quit fooling yourself women!

I'm the same, everything feels ok and I'm not "that bad" so I'm ok to have another go. Errr then chaos reigns. Oh but I don't get in trouble with the law, or drink drive or anything. Err but that's because I simply don't drive the car, it sits and waits and I don't go anywhere I could get into trouble. Then comes the even bigger one - well you've mucked up anyway so may as well continue..........just gotta keep remembering how much nicer it is to get up knowning your body is under your control, and ok every day rather than fighting it all the time.

[prose]

Quit fooling yourself women!

hi there,
haven't been here for a long time, decided to check in again after another crappy Christmas- i layed in bed this morning and thought about how disgusting I am!
I feel this way in the morning and around 5 or 6 pm I have forgotten the shame,
uggggggggggggghhhhh!!
Prose

[jennyneric]

Quit fooling yourself women!

I was the same way, the depression, the guilt, the mind games. I am 6 days this time and I think I found something that helps. . .L-glutamine.

[prose]

Quit fooling yourself women!

ok how's this for weird thinking, I feel like if i stop drinking I will have to accept the fact that my past behaviour has been pretty bad- embarassing family etc- and if i don't stop it makes all those things ok-does this make any sense to anyone?