yes, you are numbing yourself with AL the avoid facing or thinking about your past behavior right?
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Quit fooling yourself women!
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Quit fooling yourself women!
Prose, face it ... there is NOTHING you can do to change the past, nothing. What you can do is avoid repeating past mistakes and behaviors. Human beings, by definition, are imperfect and make mistakes. Forgive yourself for being human. Your thoughts are pushing you to self-medicate and get numb again. Ain't working that well I suspect ... give yourself a break and some time to heal. You may be choosing to postpone that possibility. It's up to you, and support of people like those here is truly INVALUABLE! Take good care, peace and good luck, jCuckoo for Cocoa Puff!!!
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Quit fooling yourself women!
Okay Prose. I get it. I too am/was a perfectionist much to my own, and others', detriment. I guess I was an egomaniac because I could not admit that I was even capable of making such ugly, flagrant and repeated mistakes. Well ... after a long, very long, protracted clinging to the idea of perfectionism/egomania really, I learned the hard way it was ruining me. I like the freedom and fluidity of allowing myself to be human far better. I feel sooooo much better. Forget about the past, your imperfections. Just move onto the things you like, the things that make you truly feel better. Just some of my thoughts, jCuckoo for Cocoa Puff!!!
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Quit fooling yourself women!
Prose,
You know what they say..."admitting you have a problem is the first step". It's that darn procrastinating voice that says I won't worry about it today, I'll quit tomorrow. We all know that voice. So instead of drinking 1/2 bottle of wine, you start drinking the whole bottle and before you know it you're drinking two bottles a night. That's too much, noone should be putting that much poison down their throats. You wake up every morning dragging your glassy eyed self out of bed. Pull yourself 1/2 together, fuzzy mind, red faced, bloated and smelly and try to go out in the world and "be normal".....ughhh such a struggle, exhausting. I haven't even mentioned the embarrassment, low self esteem and lack of confidence, its all more than one can handle day after day.
Someone once said, alcoholics aren't weak, they are some of the strongest individuals to be able to put up with the struggle and pain on a daily basis of dealing with their addiction.
And as most of the long term abbers will tell you, it is soooo much easier to just abstain.
Sorry for the ranting....I'm really saying this to myself as well as you and everyone on this thread.
Everything I need is within me!
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Quit fooling yourself women!
Thankyou everybody for your replies and advice, each and every reply built a strength of confidence in me. In my personal life I don't have any other females like myself, all the women in my life will have two glasses of wine then move onto tea, whilst I sit there looking at the bottom of my wine bottle wishing it would magically refill itself and being disgusted at myself at how easily I consumed it! I look over at them and feel such jealousy at how easily they dismiss that third glass. Having you all share the same feelings and understanding is the greatest medicine.
Thankyou for your warm welcomes.sigpic
Where ever you go, there you are
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Quit fooling yourself women!
some inspiring information for we 'waff-lers' to remember. I like "So instead of drinking 1/2 bottle of wine, you start drinking the whole bottle and before you know it you're drinking two bottles a night. That's too much, noone should be putting that much poison down their throats. You wake up every morning dragging your glassy eyed self out of bed. Pull yourself 1/2 together, fuzzy mind, red faced, bloated and smelly and try to go out in the world and "be normal".....ughhh such a struggle, exhausting." from britlite, and mama bear, I"ve been focusining on that 'poisin' part. I have oftened wondered, after having to drag myself into work after 1-2 bottles of wine, just if I do 'smell'? I always think not....but? and memory. That starts to not work so well. Good luck to us all.From the Sanskrit prayer;
"....For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision,
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a dream of hope."
:catroll:
determined to be AF
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