Hello

[Flotsam]

Just want to say hello to everyone. I came across this board by accident and decided (impulsively) to join.

I feel so guilty about my drinking habits and really do want to change them. The trouble is I find that when I do not drink I dont feel that much better!

I dont enjoy being retired and dont really want to spend my time with my OH on a 24/7 basis and console myself with too much wine and brandy every evening....so am looking for some mutual support out there

[KatBlois]

Hello

Hi Flotsam

Glad you decided to join. I'm pretty new here too, and you found a good place to be, for both your concerns about your drinking, and for just some plain ol' posative support.

Sounds like you're bored and becoming depressed, is there not something you can do, like turn a hobby into a job? Volunteering, or something along those lines? Depression and drinking seem to go hand in hand, and one of the things recommended in the program is to get active. If you haven't read about the program, you should it's a good one.

You are going through a major life change, of the kind that is extremely difficult to deal with. At this point, from what you've said, your increase in drinking may be curbed by finding a new and fulfilling life for yourself....

Maybe??

Kat :welcome:

[lushy]

Hello

Welcome Flotsam!! I was going to suggest the same thing as Kat; finding something to do to fill the void of not working. Otherwise, it is so easy to stay at home and drink, and then get depressed, and then drink some more, and so on. I hope you will read some posts around here and see you are not alone. And regarding the not feeling any better when you do not drink. I have had those same thoughts on the nights I do not drink anything but then I have to realize it will not happen overnight. It takes a few days strung together of not drinking, or it takes going a while without overindulging for me to notice how much better I feel. Keep us posted!!!

[Flotsam]

Hello

Hello there!

Well I have always maintained that I drink because I am depressed, not depressed because I drink.

I would have liked to do voluntary work but my husbands idea of a perfect retirement is for us to do everything together!!! I find it a huge strain because, although he means well, he has a very strong personality and is hard work on a full time basis. However, I am getting more used to being retired but come the evening, all my good intentions fly out of the kitchen window and I head for the wine or the brandy. Last night I had too much again! I just dont know how to resist when the damn stuff is in the house. My husband gets cross if we dont have any wine but he is quite capable of just having one. Me! I have to finish the bottle!

Still, thanks for the replies and the support. I am off to take daughter to college.
Flotsam.

[Changeling]

Hello

In the same boat

My husband retired (very early) 3 years ago and a new phase of our life started. We spent the last few years as if we were on holiday - indulging in lots of socialising & drinking.

It has taken my husband a long long time to accept that what is just a drink (orfew) for him has become a big problem for me. I think in some ways he didnt wan't to accept I had a problem because it would obviously impact our drinking life together.

However, recently i've made a break through (long story) with him, he has FINALLY accepted that I need to stay away from the wine - he has agreed not to drink in the house any more. (Unless we are entertaining) This has made a huge difference to me - not to have to see bottles of wine lined up in the fridge, such a huge temptation removed.

I am now on day 10 Alc free - and feeling better every day.
By the way - I am involved in Volunteer/Charity work - it is so rewarding and gives me a lot of purpose. Would really recomend trying it.
Kind regards
Changeling

[Rusty]

Hello

Hi, I'm Rusty,

I'm very new here but in just a couple of weeks, I think that MWO has changed my life. I have a great career, I travel all over the world, but in the last two years, my drinking has gotten out of control. How did this happen? Initially, loneliness....in a period of a few short months, my beau moved away, my best friend died of cancer and my father died a few months later. I drank to escape the fact that 90% of my support system was gone. When I was home alone on the weekends, I drank because I didn't want to feel the pain I was in. I have put on so much weight that I despise the way I look. And people, even my best clients, make unsolicited comments about my weight which really hurts my feelings and makes me feel worse. This has to stop. I will ruin my career, but worst of all, I could kill someone. I have driven my car ripped out of my mind so many times, I'm disgusted to even think about it. I read and re-read everyone's postings and I feel encouraged. I am grateful to all of you.

[lushy]

Hello

Welcome Rusty. Keep coming around here and reading the stories, I am sure you will find you are not alone.

[zampa75]

Hello

Rusty, I had the same awful experience with drinking not to feel the pain, the feeling that something fundamental was missing, and gained a LOOOOT of wieght, and had people constantly remarking it, every single day......that made me feel worse, a lot worse, and of course it made me drink even more- I have been fighting with eating desease for years now ........it was- and sometimes it still is - horrible, awful, heartbreaking.........I can only say that I managed to get over the worst of it- I THINK - and now I control my drinking a little tiny bit better, and hope it will improve so I can feel finally at peace with my body, and with life or whathever it is that makes me feel so bad.... the road is still very long........good luck:h

[Waves 2]

Hello

Flotsam

hi,

I am 25 days in to a 30 day AF period. At the end of it I intend to buy the small 250ml bottles of wine. If your hubby insists on wine being around it may help. Just a thought.

[Flotsam]

Hello

Thanks again for your replies, they are all very supportive.

Rusty, I know what you mean. I started to drink to kill the pain I was feeling when I moved away from home. I dont know how or why I carried on living a life that was making me so unhappy! I still feel like a square peg in a round hole to a certain extent but now that my parents have passed on there is no way I will be moving back to where I was born and that makes me feel so sad still.

Changeling, annoyingly my OH will criticise me for my drinking and when I manage to get things under control he will go and offer me some brandy! I know, I just dont need enemies with a friend like him!

I managed to pluck up the courage to tell my doctor about my problem. He asked me how much I drank, (a bottle of wine every night at the time, now I am not so bad though). He did a blood test on me and then told me I had the liver of a tee-totaller. Well that was good news but it didnt help, I just felt I had permission to go on abusing my body! So it is an ongoing problem after too many years and I just want to stop now.

Well best wishes to you all, hope you have a great day