Living in the Day

[Guest]

I know this is the key to my sobriety and I lost this quite some time ago, sometime between June, July and August. During that time I did undergo a house move, on my own which kind of also affected my work too. Anyway I know AA say you shouldn't move house in the first 12 months and maybe that was right. However I'm in a really nice place so no excuses now.

I do have to get myself back in the day and I'm trying to figure how I did that back at the end of March this year. I've built up a life you see, back then it was easy because I had no life - friends were keeping well away, family were used to me not being there, I had no relationship going on, and my fitness stuff was right out the window. Well that's all more or less there now and I struggle to balance, keep in the day and not P people off.

So do I step back and just tell everyone "I'm sorry but you get on with your lives, ignore me and I'll be right back when I'm ready"?Then I get questions about when that will be. It just makes me angry because I just don't know. This problem is going to kill me and it's making me terribly unhappy, yet people around me want to do things I can't cope with - but which they think will be good for me. I know it just makes me worse. I think it's time for a major head shift, just go back to what I can cope with on a daily basis which is generally just pootering in my own time.

[prose]

Living in the Day

yes you are right the key is to be "in the day"- it sounds so simple but is so hard!

[janka]

Living in the Day

I agree completely ... "just for today," a thought so very, very simple (even simplistic) but so very worthy, healing and life-giving to keep in the forefront of our minds. It takes a hard, deliberate and focused retraining of the mind, our thoughts, to encourage self-healing. j

[Guitarista]

Living in the Day

All in your own time UK. Recovery, and us getting back, or newly into the swing of things doesn't happen overnight, in a few week's, or in a few month's. You have YOUR time, and YOUR path. Decent folk will respect this of us, even if they don't understand, is my experience. For me, i find it important for me to be pro-active, get out there, and make an effort to connect with family and friend's etc, too, but, and this may be selfish, i connect on my terms. Which for me, i've learned, simply means i always have an 'exit plan', and transport myself to and fro'. My family and friends understand (mostly) and are happy i make the effort, as am i. Getting ourselves back can take some time, but as long as we are moving forward, i for one, can't complain. Merry christmas.

[Lavande]

Living in the Day

Hi UK,

Have you read Eckhart Tolle, 'The Power of Now'? It really helped me to understand the importance of being present - in the moment.
Im about to read his next book 'A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life's Purpose'. It has mixed reviews but I do like his style of writing.

I wouldn't let anyone pressure me to do something I just don't want to do. Stand up for yourself, you decide what you are ready for - not other people. Be kind to yourself!

Lav

[hillsidetime]

Living in the Day

Hi UK, I do hope that you find the state of mind soon, you deserve that. Some days are filled with a great amount of anxiety for sure. Coping on a daily basis, like you wrote, is sometimes what we need focus on. Hang in there, you can do it.
Hill

[Dewdrop]

Living in the Day

UK blonde you have come such a long way, I think the best advice is to do whatever is right for you because your sobriety has to come first. I hope you can get your mind and attitude in gear and feel comfortable in your skin doing what's best for you. Friends and family will stand by you I'm sure especially if they want the best for you too even if they don't fully understand.

Dewdrop :h

[mario]

Living in the Day

This thought may help a little,
Just for today i will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once, I can do something for twelve hours that would appal me if i felt that i had to keep it up for a lifetime,

Just for today i will be happy, most folks are as happy as they make up there minds to be.

Just for today i will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.I will take my luck as it comes and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind.i will study, I will learn something useful,I will not be a mental loafer,I will read something that requires effort,thought & concentration.

Just for today i will exercise my soul in three ways; I will do somebody a good turn,and not get found out; If anybody knows of it,it will not count,I will do at least two things i dont want to do-just for exercise.I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt,they may be hurt,but today i will not show it.

Just for today I will have a programme,I may not follow it exactly,but I will have it,I will save myself from two pests;hurry & indecision

Just for today i will have a quite half hour all by myself,& relax.during this half hour,sometime,i will get a better perspective of my life

Just for today I will be unafraid, especially i will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as i give to the world, so the world will give to me.......Go on, just for today

[janka]

Living in the Day

Great quote Mario!!! One of the best I've ever heard. Thanks! j

[spuddleduck]

Living in the Day

uk, theres so much truth for me too in your post. as you know we both got some good af time in earlier this year. and started rebuilding ourselves from a horrible dark place. its the old thing of when you are down at the bottom the only way is up. at the start i was really gentle with myself... odat. when things started going really well maybe i thought i was 'fixed' and could relax and get on with things. was that my mistake... i dont know. what i do know is that we got our minds in the right place before and we can do it again.... without going right back to the bottom of the pit... the ive managed to get well on the way to that.
mario, love the just for today.... ill have that for a mantra... just for today of course

[Doggygirl]

Living in the Day

Hi UK. Many great suggestions here and I really don't have anything new to add. Just wanted to give you a show of support! Learning how to say "no" guild free is a very useful skill in my world. When I read lav's post, I thought "The Power of No."

I also like G's post about maintaining independence when we engage with others. Exit plans, independent transportation, etc. It is not wrong to say no, just because. I don't need a reason and I don't need to feel guilty. That is one that I have had to work really hard on.

As others already said, put your sobriety first EVERY day. The rest of life will just have to take care of itself.

Strength and hope to you,

DG