Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

[Longshot]

8 full days Sober.

A stressful christmas done, have had zero sleep, these last few weeks tanked up on balcofen, I am exhausted, four more days on this rotten stupid job, and then I'm free.

We're leaving the pub, two hours, sparkling water, OJ, and my wife gets a phonecall, from her brother. Her uncle is dead. Full blown alcoholic, living with a heroin addict, in and out of rehab. Cause of death unknown.

And I'm so fucking selfish, I'm exhausted the drive to the funeral is simply beyond me, then taking care of the dogs, and I fucking need, desperately need sleep. My wife needs me at the funeral, and I can't be around this, NO. NOT THIS. NOT. NOW.

And I'm angry, I'm angry with myself for being in this place, that my wife doesn't think she can trust me to be alone, and my life means I can't cope with going to the funeral, and it's just so fucking unfair.

[Wintyr]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Hang in there Longshot, don't forget you cannot be failing whilst your trying buddy, your making hard as hell changes in your life and they are HARD AS HELL, don't be so hard on yourself, have you got anything to help you sleep? Its so hard to sleep at first but eventually you will sleep I promise you, like a baby then wake up a new person Hang in there mate.

[startingover]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Hey Longshot. Its hardly surprising you feel the way you do. First few days of detox are tough on the mind and body.
Just wanted to send you a big hug. I know its not much consolation, but hope you get through this horrible period

[Sona]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Hang in there, Longshot! I know how it is to desperately need sleep, and to want the spouse's trust. I know how it is to have obligations thrust on you and then guilt at the fact that you know you should be more amiable about them as well. Just remember -- you DON'T HAVE TO DRINK over it. If you make it through these hard moments without picking up, it will most likely be easier a week from now to continue in sobriety under better circumstances.

Peace to you.

[tlrgs]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

hang in there longshot things will get better .. have you try takingh melatonin it really works ... ..
well love and big hugs

[tiptronic_ct]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Hey, Longshot

I also suffered from terrible insomnia when I was still on very high-dose baclofen - it is a common side-effect.

What I did to mitigate it was by adapting my baclofen schedule: I took more earlier in the day (until around 3.00 p.m.), then a last dose no later than 7.00 p.m.

I also took Melatonin (up to 4 times the regular dose - it's completely safe). Another alternative is to take an antihistamine like Phenergan about an hour before bedtime.

If it really gets terrible and the above methods give no results, you can speak to your doctor about certain types of Anti-Depressants. I was prescribed Molipaxin to assist with my sleep issues and it helped a great deal to normalise my sleeping patterns until I had tapered down on the baclofen sufficiently for the insomnia to go away by itself.

Take care of yourself!

[Wagoneer]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

So sorry Longshot. You have been given good advice about the sleep. I was a huge insomniac when I stopped drinking, and while I did not go on meds, I needed melatonin big time. It helped. You can get through this - it will be a pain in the ass, but you can do it. Things will get better!

[Longshot]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Removal tomorrow night, funeral the day after.

As tough as my first new years sober was going to be, I'm facing a two hour drive, the removal of the body of a chronic alcoholic, and the burial of a chronic alcoholic as the start of 2011.

[brightlite]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Longshot,

My sympathies for the uncle that was lost to this horrible addiction. It will be a tough thing to face in your early sobriety, but if you can get through it intact you will come out on the other side with the feeling that if you can get through that...the rest is a piece of cake. What I fear is that you want to stay home because you want sleep and you may decide you want to drink. The best thing you can do is support your wife, view the ravages of alcohol (as horrible as it may be). You will be the stronger for it.

Sending you peace and positive thoughts.

[Longshot]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

tiptronic_ct;1030954 wrote: Hey, Longshot

I also suffered from terrible insomnia when I was still on very high-dose baclofen - it is a common side-effect.

What I did to mitigate it was by adapting my baclofen schedule: I took more earlier in the day (until around 3.00 p.m.), then a last dose no later than 7.00 p.m.

I also took Melatonin (up to 4 times the regular dose - it's completely safe). Another alternative is to take an antihistamine like Phenergan about an hour before bedtime.

If it really gets terrible and the above methods give no results, you can speak to your doctor about certain types of Anti-Depressants. I was prescribed Molipaxin to assist with my sleep issues and it helped a great deal to normalise my sleeping patterns until I had tapered down on the baclofen sufficiently for the insomnia to go away by itself.

Take care of yourself!

I've been on several sleeping tablets my Doctor prescribed me Zimovane. Which I hope will help.

[Bean]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Hi Lonhgshot

I really feel for you - I suffer from insomnia too and i honestly consider lack of sleep to be a form of torture. Try to remember that our brains takes us weird and scary places when we are simply exhausted. You are having an emotional response to some physiological changes in your body at a really stressful time.

Sometimes when things feel totally overwhelming and unbearable, I will keep repeating to myself "it's just a bad day (hour/minute - adapt as necessary!), just one bad day".

Because you know the nature of life is change and this too shall pass.
All the best
Bean

PS Not sure of your relationship with this uncle. Without wanting to sound cruel in any way, perhaps you can choose to see his death as a timely reminder of how you DON'T want your life to end up? You are still here and you still get to choose to be AF. He doesn't. RIP.

[Longshot]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Bean;1031380 wrote:
PS Not sure of your relationship with this uncle. Without wanting to sound cruel in any way, perhaps you can choose to see his death as a timely reminder of how you DON'T want your life to end up? You are still here and you still get to choose to be AF. He doesn't. RIP.

I am going to politely ignore this incredibly distasteful comment.

[Longshot]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Zenstyle;1031324 wrote: Ugh! Not the best New Year's that's for sure. Can your wife drive part of the way?

Take a deep breath and try and relax a bit... if that's possible under the circumstances.

Hang in there Longshot...

My wife doesn't drive, And at the moment I am too tired to drive. Train is the way.

[mylife]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Hi Longshot.

What I'm hearing is that you are exhausted. If I'm sleep deprived I tend to melt down. I just can't handle anything let alone a horrible incident like this. Please try to remind yourself that this too shall pass...you will be over this situation at some point and if you're still not drinking you will feel that much stronger to face the future.

Good luck with your journey and so sorry to hear about your loss.

[Bean]

Oh you have got to be f**king kidding me

Longshot, I'm so sorry for offending you. That totally was not my intention. Like I said, I was not trying to be cruel or ignorant - just not sure how to interpret some of your post and clearly I got it wrong.

My apologies
Bean