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[chartreuse_lily]

I've been sober for a little over a month. When I stopped I was drinking about two bottles of wine a day almost every day. I was driving while intoxicated and drinking at work. I felt very ill almost everyday and I honestly believed I couldn't stop drinking, that I couldn't get through a day without alcohol.

Then I read "My Way Out" and though I didn't follow the plan in all it's parts (no medications) I did start taking a cocktail of supplements (including Kudzu, Milk Thistle, Passion Flower, Evening Primrose Oil, Flaxseed Oil, L-Glutemine) and doing my own version of self-hypnosis which included repeating to myself phrases like "I don't want to drink, I don't need to drink, I don't have to drink", "I choose health, growth, creativity and empowerment, I reject alcohol" and "alcohol has no power over me except what I give it. If I refuse to put alcohol into my body alcohol can not hurt me".

Amazingly, I seems to be working.

I focused very strongly on re-writing the scripts I live by, instead of imagining myself going into the liquor store I would visualize myself NOT going in, passing by, not regretting it.

Since I stopped drinking I've also read up on Rational Recovery and I find the technique of identifying and denying the Addicted Voice to be really helpful. I have urges, but I don't have to act on them, I can say "No".

I'm proud of my sober time and feel like I've really accomplished a lot but at the same time, I'm scared.

I have a strong background in AA and the 12-Steps. I worked as a secretary for an outpatient treatment center for 5 years (long before I became alcoholic myself) and also dated a man in recovery for several years. I've heard so many times that AA is the only way to recover, that anyone who doesn't work the steps in doomed to relapse or a dry drunk.

Yet AA didn't work for me.

I attended meetings diligently earlier this year and still couldn't stop drinking. I couldn't get past the first step. Admitting powerlessness was deadly for me. The moment I allowed myself to believe I had no choice or will of my own with regards to my drinking I would give into my cravings. I prayed and waited for a higher power to remove these cravings but it just didn't happen. I kept drinking.

What I personally needed was to take the power back from alcohol, not concede powerlessness. I needed to take the intuitive and stop drinking myself despite the difficulty. I needed to help myself instead of waiting for a miracle. "God helps those who help themselves" is another of my mantra's.

I'm desperately hoping that I can stay sober on my own terms, that I'm doing the right thing in finding what works for me. I try to stay positive but part of me is horrified that I'm wrong, that I'm setting myself up for failure.

I'd love to hear from anyone who has been able to stay sober on their own, just so I know it CAN be done.

[JackieClaire]

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:welcome: chartreuse_lily,

Congratulations on your month AF. (alcohol free)

Just thought I'd say my hellos and won't overload you with advice at the moment.

Have a look in the the tool box link. Masses of info and good advice.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html


Keep posting, keep reading. Glad to have you here and look forward to getting to know you.

J x
:l

[Wagoneer]

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Chartreuse - welcome! How awesome that you've confronted this bastard AL on your own terms and you're winning! A month sober is great. I am two months sober and woudl love to say I did it on my own, but honest to God, had I not come back to this place and gotten the awesome support that I have gotten, I would still be knee deep in Chardonnay. A few years back, I read the book, did the sups, posted, then fell off the wagon. And again. Then again (hence the name "Wagoneer" - on and off the wagon so much my head was spinning. And not from the booze!) Something snapped two months ago. I never hit rock bottom, I didn't go over my one or 1 1/2 bottles of wine a night, something just happened. I came on the site and was lurking after being very hungover and I read some posts and finally, they resonated wth me. They penetrated my thick boozy skull and that was that. It has not been that easy, but the pride I feel and the happiness in my kids' faces when they see me not drinking is the only motivation I need. I am not on any meds and not on a giant supp cocktail, but I never stray far from here. These people are my friends and my support. I don't completely rely on them because that would be unfair, but they certainly keep me in line and allow me to vent and be my goofy-ass self.

Long blathering response short, it CAN be done. If I can do it, you can do it. You are not wrong - this is the right decision. Good luck to you and I hope that you stick around.

[Pride before Fall]

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Hi CL,

Congratulations on your month AF! I found hynosis to be helpful too (not the CDs on MWO--I searched the Web and found different ones I liked).

I think AA is most frequently recommended because for many, many years, it was the only group-support option available. I truly believe that fellowship is a core component of successfully quitting, but there are a number of other options that might be a better fit for you, "real life" or online (e.g., MWO, Women for Sobriety, Smart Recovery). It's harder to find a meeting near you for less established groups, but some offer online meetings.

I don't think anyone should advocate one way as the only way to sobriety, although I think if we find a method that works, we tend to push that one. Human nature! There are a number of people with long-term sobriety here who took different paths to get there.

Don't be discouraged; you sound like your head's in the right place on this; the rest will follow. Stick around!

xoxo Pride

[hillsidetime]

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Hi Chartreuse, and welcome. You should really be proud of what you have accomplished. It is a tremendous physical, and as you are experiencing - psychological - battle as well. I have used the help of the wonderful people here on mwo, lots of reading, support from my family, and I have made it this far on my own. I am finding my way out. You are doing the same, doing it on your own terms, and that is great. Never underestimate your evil opponent. Read and write lots, there are many caring and thoughtful people here who can and will help. All the best,
Hill

[Sona]

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Welcome, chartreuse_lily!

A little over a month, that is AWESOME!

I think it is good to be horrified by alcoholism -- a healthy fear is good for us. But I also think you are taking healthy steps to empower yourself over it. It sounds like you're on the right track. Stay focused, continue in sobriety!

I am only on my second day right now, but I hope in a month to be just like you! :goodjob:

[Tipplerette]

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I'd love to hear from anyone who has been able to stay sober on their own, just so I know it CAN be done.
It's funny because I cut and pasted your whole post and sent it to myself as an email just to remind myself that it can be done. I want to give up all booze for the month of January and so far have only managed to abstain for 4 days maximum in a row. I am not a big drinker by some standards. I share a bottle of wine most nights with hubby and drink more on the weekends. Does not sound like much but the cravings are phenominal and scary. I realize that your post was requesting communication from people who have managed to stay sober but I consider you one of them.

It all depends on where we are in our journey.

To start with I wish for your success and will be very proud of myself if I accomplish it.

Take care and good luck in the future.:thanks:

[Tipplerette]

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I'd love to hear from anyone who has been able to stay sober on their own, just so I know it CAN be done.
It's funny because I cut and pasted your whole post and sent it to myself as an email just to remind myself that it can be done. I want to give up all booze for the month of January and so far have only managed to abstain for 4 days maximum in a row. I am not a big drinker by some standards. I share a bottle of wine most nights with hubby and drink more on the weekends. Does not sound like much but the cravings are phenominal and scary. I realize that your post was requesting communication from people who have managed to stay sober but I consider you one of them.

It all depends on where we are in our journey.

To start with I wish for your continued success and will be very proud of myself if I accomplish my goal.

Take care and good luck in the future.:thanks:

[janka]

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Hi Chartreuse and many congratulations!!! I just stopped drinking (after many relapses), almost 8 weeks ago, and came back to this site a few days ago for added support. This site is truly a blessing! I also use positive self-talk, distraction and visualization. Hope to forge ahead sober with you, j

[mylife]

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Hi Char,
Fantastic post. I think you will find that thousands of people are in recovery using a variety of different methods. AA works for a lot of people but many other use other methods.

Congratulations on your success!! Keep doing what is working for you!!

[Chillgirl]

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chartreuse_lily;1031423 wrote:
I'd love to hear from anyone who has been able to stay sober on their own, just so I know it CAN be done.

IT CAN BE DONE!!!

:welcome: Chartreuse

Congratulations of achieving a month AF!! I was also drinking two bottles of wine a day and more when I quit and have stayed sober on my own. I did attend a few AA meetings in the 1st couple of months, I also read and followed Allen Carr's "Only way to quit drinking" method.

Like your affirmations I copied phrases from the book and printed them out on little cards and I still have them in my purse. "I control my life again" "alcohol is poison which debilitates each one of your senses" "living not existing" "habits are easy to break if you want to" "Eureka! Im free!" "I love my body, why trash it?" "there is no such thing as one drink" etc etc........

It sounds to me like you have the most powerful ingredient, and thats a positive mentality.

[allswell]

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Hi Chartreuse,

Like you I have also read Rational Recovery and for me it has been a real eye opener. I have been able to go a month, two months, etc then I always have that tug of war between "should I or shouldn't I" which always sent me back to square one. The book explains in great detail the midbrain "beast" being the addictive voice that tells you to go ahead and "have just one". I look forward to getting this thing off my back for good.

Best

[Lavande]

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Hi Chartreuse,

Welcome to MWO, glad you found us
CONGRATS on your AF month - that's fantastic!!!!!
Sounds like you have your bases covered but I think the on-going support here is priceless. The longer you hang around here, the more you read the stronger you become!

Join us in the Monthly Abstinence or Weekly Abstinence threads for continued support.
There is strength in numbers

Best wishes!
Lav

[babysteps]

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Great posts all and Chartreuse-lily, sounds like you will make it! As I like to be inspired as well if you want to read posts from folks who have been AF a long time you can find the long term abstainers... I agree that AA doesn't work for all. I've tried a few times, just cannot buy all the kool-aid. I personally know a few people who have quit. My fav uncle - now a good age - quit 30 years ago. I never paid any attention to details of course until I found me with a problem. I was sitting with him recently and said" uncle ... so how did you do it, did you join AA, was it hard, etc." and he said, I just did it. Had to. (Auntie was threatening but we know that doesn't stop all). So I've spent my life hearing him say "no, don't drink". An inspiration as when you see 'old folks' drinking heavy, getting intoxicated it is very sad...

[babysteps]

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oh, and as an aside, AA comments to the side about dry drunks and personalities, he is and has always been the most loved man in the crowd, no matter where he goes. Quitting did't ruin his personality..