overwhelmed

[chartreuse_lily]

There are so many things going on in my life right now I?m feeling really overwhelmed.

I?ve been alcohol free since the end of November. I hasn?t been easy, I have to work on it every single day. I?m happy to do this work and I feel like my life has gotten much better since I stopped drinking. I have my self respect back, a whole level of anxiety about being found out, losing my job or getting a DWI has been removed. I don?t have to scheme or plan or hustle for my next drink. In many ways I feel free, liberated and very grateful.

Yet in many other ways I?m miserable.

I have a frantic, maybe compulsive need to lose the 20 pounds I put on while drinking (I?ve posted about that in greater detail here https://www.mywayout.org/community/f6...uch-47081.html). I?ve been dieting hard and even though I?m still overweight it exhausts and frightens me.

Also about the time I stopped drinking, I went off anti-depressants. I?d been on a variety of anti-depressants for the last 15 years, most recently a combination of Cymbalta, Prozac and Abilify. Under my new health insurance plan I simply can?t afford them, or therapy, anymore.

I tried to taper off my meds but apparently went too fast. A week after I stopped I got hit very hard with withdrawal symptoms including sleeping problems, fatigue, irritability, and low mood. I don?t want to do anything or see anyone, I don?t enjoy anything. The holidays were a huge effort for me. I?m barely able to function at work; the slightest thing stresses me out to the point where I?m stammering and near tears.

I?ve read that SSRI Discontinuation Syndrome can last six to eight weeks and I?m trying to wait it out but I?m worried that without medication I?ll lapse into clinical depression. I?m trying to combat this, I exercise every day and I?ve started taking a variety of supplements for mood like SAM-e, 5-THP, omenga-3, and evening primrose oil. Hopefully they?ll help.

Right now I?m trying to stay positive but I?m very anxious and frustrated. I want to enjoy my sobriety but it feels like there?s so much stacked up against me.

[Bean]

overwhelmed

Hi CL

So sorry to hear you are finding everything such a struggle. Doesn't help with the holiday stress and the dark days etc. Congratulations on your commitment to get back in shape and come off your meds though it does sound as if you are placing very high expectations on yourself and combined with the withdrawal symptoms has sent you into a nose dive.

I see you say you can't afford the meds anymore but seems they were quite critical in keeping you stable. Have you talked to your Dr? Did you try to taper off or just decide to stop. I have heard that stopping too fast can plunge people back into major depression (I am on a medium dose of Citalopram and wanted to just quit but reading this has made me rethink).

Not sure what to suggest. In the scheme of things taking meds again in the short term might get you through this difficult time and then you can taper off again at a pace that works for you. It's not worth compromising your sobriety over this.

More importantly, we all deserve to get up each day and feel happy and with things to look forward to. I've been/am where you are too only days ago and it totally sucks.
Let us know what you decide to do and feel free to PM if you would like to chat.
Thinking of you
Bean

[Lavande]

overwhelmed

Hi CL,

Take a look at this website - this product helped me tremendously. Feel free to PM me for more info.

AMORYN Mood Booster | Natural Antidepressant | Supplement for Depression & Anxiety

Lav

[Sona]

overwhelmed

Chartreuse_lily,

Oh, I feel for you! The holidays can add to all this stress as well. But soon the holidays will be over with and you will have made it through -- alcohol FREE! That is the most important thing. Check out those supplements and I agree with Bean, if there's a way you could get at least some of your meds back to make it through this time, it might be good. But you've said that life has gotten better for you since you've been AF. Keep at this! Life will continue to improve, and you know it.

Always know this: You don't have to drink. There are always more options. Let life continue to improve in sobriety. Though it is difficult at times and there are emotional roadblocks on the way, you are now on the right path.

[babysteps]

overwhelmed

Ch-lily, that sounds like way too many changes for your body to handle at once....quitting drinking and anti-d's at the same time is tough. I know what you mean about insurance, my costs are constantly going up and its not going to get better so maybe that natural thing Lavende mentioned is good. Or maybe you can go to your dr. and see if she/he can get you on 1 - prozac is likely the all around one and cheapest - and try that...but I'm not a dr. Good luck! It's great I think you've lasted so well since 11/1, congrats to you!