not a good start

[pscb123]

i did not have a great 2010, drank my problems away and of course that did not make anything better. last night was a big drinking night being NYE and this morning have an unbelieve able urge to continue drinking. Not happy to admit that I have opened a beer already . I thought 2011 would be a new start, but this is very hard to do I dont know if I will ever be able to get my drinking under control. any advice anyone can give... i'd gladly listen to anything at this point.

[Brigitte Bardot]

not a good start

Hi pscb123,

You are very right, drinking just magnifies your problems and gives you all new ones to work with as well.

2011 can be a great year, a new start, a new lifestyle. But to do that, it would be great to put the beer down..just pour it down the drain and start working on feeling good again. I firmly believe we can get our drinking under control, but it does take work and lots of determination. You did a great thing by coming here.

[pscb123]

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thank you for the reply... much appreciated. I did drink half of it and said its not worth and went right to the sink and poured the rest out. today hopefully is a new day, new year and hopefully i can get this under control. I am a 31 year old guy and still have my whole life ahead of me.

[mario]

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Hi and welcome pscb123 to mwo, This is a great community with lots of good advice and support from people who know what your going through,you need to get yourself a plan and some tools to help you fight this monster,There is a tool box in the monthly abstainers thread please check it out, also post as much as you can as that will also help you deal with your fight, goodluck hope to see you around the boards.

[Brigitte Bardot]

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I think that's great that you did that. Believe me, I know how hard it is to do that..

It's really great that you're working on getting this undercontrol and getting your life back at the age you are, instead of another 10, 20 or 30 years down the road. And today is a new day! It's a new chance to kick this in the ass and reclaim yourself back.

Stick around, there is a wealth of information here, lots of people all in various parts of the world in different levels of recovery all willing to help.

(See..Mario just popped in. Speak of good people and they show up. )

[Sona]

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Hi pscb123!

You are in the right place!

We've all been there. I totally understand what you're going through, how you feel. Wanting to quit, having the hardest time with it in the world.

I think it is awesome that you poured the beer out. You might want to also consider taking a walk, removing yourself from the place where you drink. There's usually more than one beer in the typical drinker's house.

[Bon7737]

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pscb123;1032688 wrote: i did not have a great 2010, drank my problems away and of course that did not make anything better. last night was a big drinking night being NYE and this morning have an unbelieve able urge to continue drinking. Not happy to admit that I have opened a beer already . I thought 2011 would be a new start, but this is very hard to do I dont know if I will ever be able to get my drinking under control. any advice anyone can give... i'd gladly listen to anything at this point.

I'm ashamed to admit that I succumbed to drinking today myself. This totally sucks. Your not the only one, as you well know. Hang in there and give it another go...that's what I need to do.

[Sona]

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Dump it if you still have it, Bon! Today is the first day of the rest of your sober life. And don't be ashamed, you still have all potential to rid yourself of this thing. You will be a conqueror and a winner, don't let it shame you and defeat you!

[Doggygirl]

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pscb123;1032688 wrote: i did not have a great 2010, drank my problems away and of course that did not make anything better. last night was a big drinking night being NYE and this morning have an unbelieve able urge to continue drinking. Not happy to admit that I have opened a beer already . I thought 2011 would be a new start, but this is very hard to do I dont know if I will ever be able to get my drinking under control. any advice anyone can give... i'd gladly listen to anything at this point.

I can relate to the process of thinking that *something* reprsented a new start, and that magically the excessive drinking would somehow stop or come under control. (I never really wanted to stop it - just control it). The list of things I thought would make it "a new start" (and the drinking would be under control) included, but is not limited to:

* a new year
* a new month
* a new job
* a move to a different city
* a move to a different state
* a move to a different apartment
* a different boyfriend

you get the picture...

Unfortunately, none of that worked for me. My journey to sober living DID start right here at My Way Out though. I read some advice to download the My Way Out book, and give the program a try. I've had bumps along the way, but following the program is what gave me the "new start" I had wanted so desparately for so long.

Strength and hope to you. If we can do it, so can you.

DG

[dill]

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Yes, Pscb and Bon, there is hope. I well remember being where you are now: not knowing how you will ever possibly get free. I remember being terrified at the thought of not having my nightly wine. But you CAN do it. Just start small. Set some small goals and then work up. Just going ONE DAY without drinking, even though it's difficult, you will find a wonderful reward the next morning when you wake up feeling halfway decent for a change! And then maybe that feeling will inspire you to take on day two. If you accomplish day two, you will feel even better in the morning of day three. You have probably forgotten what it is like to feel good at the beginning of the day. I know I had.

Come on, you can do anything for just one day!

Good luck, peace, and strength to you both.

[Bean]

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You can do this!

Ditto what DG said. Good for you on pouring it out - I was never able to do that once I started.

Try not to attach too much significance to this being New Years Day and any feelings that you've already 'failed' to turn over a new leaf. It's just a day, it doesn't really mean anything. I resolved to quit on 29th Dec (no idea why that particular date). I just knew that if I made it Jan 1st, I'd be feeling exactly the same way as you are now because the alcohol would still be in my body from the night before and that always made me want to drink again. It's getting through those first couple of days that's the hard part while you physically and emotionally get back to clarity and a feeling of normality.

Do you have any friends you could stay with for a couple of nights who know you are trying to quit? I have a couple I can call on and find that the company, distraction and support helps massively to get past those relentless thoughts and cravings until you feel stronger to manage better on your own.

Keep posting and reading. Everyone is here for you!
Bean

[pscb123]

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Thank you to all for the good words of wisdom. I will do my best. it will be tough and I realized I gotta be ready to make this commitment now before this turns my life into real downward spiril. I think the hardest part is always being around it. Especially in everyday social situations. Its pretty embarassing to come out and tell everyone that I have this problem, even though I am pretty sure some people can tell.

[paguy]

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PSCB -

Yes, believe in yourself. You CAN do this. Yes, it is difficult and you may feel overwhelmed. As others have already stated, start with little steps, one day at a time. We all had to start somewhere. The rewards are well worth it.

The social pressures of drinking are huge but believe me, the consequences of not being true to yourself and taking action will probably be more problematic. You have to want to do this for yourself and make a commitment to change.

You have come to a wonderful community here at MWO. We have all walked in your shoes so please don't feel intimidated or ashamed. We are here to support you.

Best Wishes and Good Luck...

John

[Bean]

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pscb123;1033081 wrote: . Its pretty embarassing to come out and tell everyone that I have this problem, even though I am pretty sure some people can tell.

I know exactly how you feel but when I started (tentatively) to tell people, I had the COMPLETE OPPOSITE reaction. I had magnified my problem into this monstrous and shameful secret. I really thought I'd be sent into exile or something if people really knew what a deeply awful person I am because of this addiction.

And yet...not ONE person I've told has judged or rejected me or decided they don't want me in their life anymore. Maybe I am lucky but I can't be unique in this experience. And also, each time I told someone, it shrank the monster, it's power and significance. Right now today I picture the problem as about 2 inches high

This is not to underestimate the hold it did/can have over us or to suggest that simply telling people will solve all your problems. However, if someone came to you to confess something similar, how would you react? I bet you would support them. I hear the drinking voice telling you that you don't deserve the help and support but you do. You really do.

Almost everyone I've told has also been really touched that I chose to share something so personal with them.
Courage to you my friend.
Bean

[Recluse]

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Hi pscb123, sounds like we're in pretty much the same boat. I had AL assessment appointments shortly before Christmas and my alcohol worker advised me to try to cut down a little before beginning one-to-ones early in January. When I queried the advisability of trying to cut down over the festive season, she commented that "there's never a good time to make a start". I agree with her. One day, we have to wake up in the morning (or afternoon in my case) and decide that things are going to change once and for all. Doggygirl hit the nail on the head with her comments.

Good luck

Recluse