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Made it past day one / Now for day two

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    Made it past day one / Now for day two

    I started my journey yesterday, and managed to spend an entire day alcohol-free. I had a few moments of hesitation in the early evening, during which a nagging voice told me I could get away with just having one :shocked:

    By the end of the evening I felt calmer, and went to bed happy that I hadn't succumbed to my usual routine, at home, mostly alone; start with one pint of beer, end up having drunk eight pints, followed by several glasses of cognac as a nightcap. Then I would wake up the next morning wondering why I did it, and why the hell I don't just stop. Same old routine every day for at least two years now.

    I haven't yet worked out if I want to try a month AF or go the mod route. For now I think it's safest to go AF as long as possible, and only try modding if there is a social occasion. I'm pretty good at holding back in social circles. It's when I'm on my own that things go crazy! Anyways, now for day two, and no social occasion in sight, so it will definitely be AF.

    BzzBee.

    #2
    Made it past day one / Now for day two

    Bzz - I would definitely recommend going AF for a period of time. I don't think it's likely that you could go straight to modding. I did 2.5 months AF and am now trying just an occasional glass of wine on special occasions or dinner out (no more than 1 x per week). If that doesn't work and I find myself starting to drink more, I am committed to going back to AF.

    Best of luck to you.

    KG

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      #3
      Made it past day one / Now for day two

      BzzBee - congrats on getting to day two!

      I know that morning feeling only too well. Not just "why" did we do it but how we go through the same crazy thinking, telling ourselves we won't drink today. Then my midday I'd already be thinking about that glass of wine, of course today would be different! I would only have a couple and so the madness would continue......

      I strongly recommend you try at least 30 days AF before attempting to mod. Wishing you much strength.
      "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
      AF - JAN 1st 2010
      NF - May 1996

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        #4
        Made it past day one / Now for day two

        :goodjob: Good job BzzBee! You did the right thing. Your brain was trying to trick you, and you beat it, just for that day.

        I want to ask you, though, if perhaps your brain is trying to trick you about moderation, too. It's only a question you'll be able to answer, I guess. But I can relate to the feeling of thinking I might only be able to have one, I might be able to drink later, I might do well in social situations. Truth is, even if I managed to pull it off OK in social situations, I'd still find myself in isolation later on and drinking to excess.

        So I, too, would suggest you going AF, at least for now. But I'm not your boss! I'm only a friend who has experienced some of the same and has had to deal with a brain that's always trying to trick me.

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          #5
          Made it past day one / Now for day two

          BzzBee awesome! You can get some L-Glutamine at the health food store, it has really helped my with the cravings! I take 4 pills every evening starting at the first thought of drinking (normally 3 pm) and then every 3ish hours after that on one before bed. I seams to work really well for me!
          You always succeed if you never stop trying.
          Everyday we choose the direction of change.

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            #6
            Made it past day one / Now for day two

            Thanks everybody for the encouragement and advice.

            Indeed, I think it's wise for me to wait at least one month before attempting any modding. For now I have the impression that if I limit my drinking to social occasions then I should be OK, but as Sona points out I have also been known to have only two glasses while I'm out, followed by a "binge-fest" when I got home.

            So much to think about!

            BzzBee.

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              #7
              Made it past day one / Now for day two

              hey bzzbee
              good for you! it's my day two, too. we can do it! i had the same pattern, drinking reasonably-ish in social settings, or not at all, but going nuts alone. i'd frequently avoid socializing so i could stay home and drink. as i've mentioned, though, i wasn't exactly alone. my 4 yr old is almost always with me, and that's scary. what if there were an accident? what if i passed out or worse? why would i do that to my beautiful child? no more! let's stay strong!
              rudyb

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                #8
                Made it past day one / Now for day two

                Hi BB!

                I agree with the others here who say take some time to go AF first. A counselor I went to said it takes some MONTHS for all the AL and effects of the AL to completely get out of our system. I feel that I need at least 6 months AF personally before I can make a clear decision on whether I want to mod or abstain for the rest of my life.

                Good luck with your journey and welcome!

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                  #9
                  Made it past day one / Now for day two

                  Rudy, congrats on reaching day two!!!

                  I know all to well those scary thoughts about drinking in isolation. I don't have any kids, but I have two cats at home, and a girlfriend and family living nearby. I hate to think what would happen if any of them needed me to help them out in some way while I was totally plastered. I'm sure it's even scarier with your own child at home.

                  Hang in there!

                  BzzBee.

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