Here We Go....Again!!!

[corky57]

Today is day one of being AF. I have struggled for quite some time with my level of drinking. This is my second time using this site to help me. I have a new user name because I have to start this program from scratch. I had several months AF a year or so ago. I allowed stressful situations get in the way of being AF and let the demon back into my life. I have been un-employed (my choice) for 3 months. Instead of using this time to grow and do good things for myself, I have been drinking more, ignoring my housework and gaining weight!!!! I have interviews scheduled and I want to have my A game in place. Today I start to take care of myself. I will read Roberta's book again today, I have all the supplements and topomax and will start with 30 days AF. With my history, I don't think moderation will work for me. I need to keep coming back here and lean on the support available here. I know it works.

[spuddleduck]

Here We Go....Again!!!

go for it corky. you've done it before and you can do it again

[Wagoneer]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Glad you're back on track Corky. You can do this! We're here to support you.

[KundaliniGirl]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Corky - welcome back. Sending you peace and strength. As you already know, this place can help you achieve your goal - so many great people to support you.

xx,
KG

[Sona]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Welcome back, Corky! You've made the right decision. You are on the right path. Post more if you need to talk more! We're here!

[mylife]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Welcom back Corky! The good thing is you have the strength of your past successful experience to build upon!

[Ravencrest]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Welcome back! You can do this. We all can. It's such a struggle and we need our my way out friends.

[Lavande]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Hi corky,

Welcome back, you know this is a good place!
I couldn't do it alone either, that's why I joined nearly 2 years ago. MWO has made such a difference for me & I've accumulated some wonderful friends alog the way.

Join us on the daily & weekly abstinence threads. You'll find some excellent support there.
Best wishes to you!

Lav

[corky57]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Thanks, everyone! I am having an ugly emotional day. Feeling bad physically due to drinking too much last night, getting rid of all the alcohol in the house. Had to drink it, couldn't just pour it down the drain!!!!! So, I have done nothing all day but sit and watch TV...... There is a lot of things around the house that I needed to do and didn't. I am having a hard time just being ok with the fact that my body has to purge the poison. I know tomorrow will be better, but I am feeling very guilty today. I'll keep posting and reading to support myself on this journey. One day I will feel strong enough to help others.

[Chillgirl]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Corky - You're here and thats the main thing! Lots of great reading in https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html if you havent already found it.
Dont over think things today, when we are hungover we are not able to put things in perspective. Tomorrow you will start to see the world as a friendly place. :l

[corky57]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Starting Day Two

Good Morning! Feeling much better than yesterday! I have an interview this morning and I am looking forward to it! This will be my second visit to this office and I will be spending the morning with them observing and working to see if we are a good fit. I have another interview on Monday. Looking forward to getting back to work and working on myself. Thanks for all the support yesterday!

[Wagoneer]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Happy you're feeling better Corky You know, you ARE helping others by posting - when you tell about your feelings and struggles, so many can relate and it makes us feel less alone and gives us confidence to keep on track. You are on your way - keep strong and know you are among friends here

[corky57]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Thanks Wagoneer!!!! You are right! I am taking it easy today, just doing a lot of thinking and positive self-talk. The laundry and housework will wait until I am feeling more energetic. I need to focus on ME!!!! My interview went very well, they offered me the position!!! I told them I wanted to be honest with them and let them know that I had one more interview on Monday and that I needed to follow through with that. They were great and very hopeful that I accepted the position with them! It felt great to be valued and have my skills appreciated! I am reveling in those good feelings today!!!!

[corky57]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Day Three and I have my first hurdle to get over! My husband announced as he was leaving this morning that he would be stopping to get beer on his way home from work. I typically drink wine during the week and beer on weekends. I do not want to drink. I do not want to drink. I do not want to drink. I have supps on hand and will continue this mantra along with "there is no good reason to drink"....... I have intended all week to get back on track with my diet (Weight Watchers) and start working out. I have done neither!!!! I have actually found myself binge eating....... Ugh anyone else experience this?

[Sona]

Here We Go....Again!!!

Hi Corky!

My experience is typically the opposite. I don't eat. I just don't feel motivated to make something to eat! Then, after I miss a few meals and I'm starving, then I eat like crazy, usually at night when I would have been drinking. I know this isn't healthy, but just to say -- the drinking affects us all a little bit differently, and yet still somewhat the same. I'm sure eating issues are common.

You're right with that mantra. You DON'T have to drink. And just because your husband is stopping to get a few, it doesn't mean you can't be resolute in your decision.

Stay on the right path. Continue posting when you need to. You might want to put your decision, even if it's just for today, in writing. Maybe not "I don't want to drink," but rather, "I am not drinking, at all, nothing TODAY, regardless of anything outside of myself."

Just a thought. Hope it helps. We're here.