Failed promise

[Judestir]

Failed promise

I agree with everyone. NO I"M SORRIES!! You have nothing to be sorry for. When your ready just jump back on board and give it another go. I posted on another thread that it took me years and many times trying before I was able to stop smoking I think I learned a bit each time I quit and that is what enabled me to finally give it up in the end. So step back and have real heart to heart with yourself and try to take something postive from this experience. And be easy on yourself because, like the rest of us, you are just human.

[BzzBee62]

Failed promise

Oh Jude!

I have had many heart to hearts with myself. Like you, I gave up smoking. The last time was on November 8th, thus two months ago. I was on a 50+ a day habit, but I have no regrets and feel no cravings whatsoever. Smoking is a closed chapter. The quit is easy if you know how. The problem is that many people don't know how.

Drinking, on the other hand, is new territory for me. I intend to understand, and will get there in the end... Before it's too late, I hope.

Bzz.

[RudyB]

Failed promise

hey bzz
i'm only a little mad at you cause we had the same start date and i was counting on you to count the days.. tee hee. jokes. um, i also wanna throw in that i'm terribly impressed taht you gave up smoking. how do you drink and not smoke??!! now that i'm not drinking, i'm smoking more often than i did before, strangely. i guess it's my crutch. a yucky treat to make me feel better. huh? anyway, hang in there. i'm -we're- on your side.
rudy

[BzzBee62]

Failed promise

Rudyb,

Smoking has no benefits. At least drinking alters the mind.

I gave up smoking when I finally realized that it has absolutely no place in my life other than to destroy my health and my finances. That's fact, not bravado speaking.

Alcohol, on the other hand, is still a voyage of discovery for me.

Bzz.

P.S. I expect you to be a bit pissed off with me. I set the scene and then destroyed the scene. Effing party pooper I am.

[fighting back]

Failed promise

BzzBee62;1037921 wrote: Hi Folks,

Well, I have to admit I caved in on my promise to go AF until 28th January, and decided to have a few beers this evening. I'm not at all proud of saying one thing and doing another, but the cravings got the better of me and I want to see how I manage with 'moderation'. For me, that moderation primarily means not drinking during the week, but I'm not sure how much alcohol constitutes moderate drinking at the weekend (2 beers, 4, beers, 8 beers, 16 beers etc.)

I fully intend to go back to AF during the week, but probably shouldn't make any more promises (even to myself) that I might not keep. Sorry all.

Bzz.

I think I understand, and I also think when you make promises to yourself, you have to be realistic. I can't. I just can't promise to be 30 days AL free. I have tried it in the past, all gung-ho. and let myself down.

How about just starting with today? Breaking it down to little chunks?

I had my biggest AL free time when I did it ODAT. I honestly feel that promising others, and yourself more can be a bigger setback if you do give in.

[BzzBee62]

Failed promise

You're absolutely right, Fighting. I made a newb mistake by promising something I couldn't achieve. I was convinced at the time, but underestimated the effect withdrawal would have on me.

Bzz.

[fighting back]

Failed promise

I am pretty sure we aren't the only ones to have made mistakes bzz! Let's not walk before we c:lan run, eh?

[Jolie]

Failed promise

FB, You are absolutely right - it's great to set goals and attempt to go the whole 30 days AF but realistically, it may take you a while depending on a lot of different things. This is my third try and I'm not sure why, but it's been the easiest so far. Now I am only 6 days AF today and yes maybe my goal is 30 days or even forever (I hope), but I'm not gonna make any promises I can't keep. Only you guys know how you feel when you slip and that's the important thing - what you do with that. Go back to your old ways (which I've unfortunately done in the past), or really try to beat this thing. The reason I'm back here again is because of the support and knowing that I am not in this thing alone. Good luck to you both!

[RudyB]

Failed promise

bzz
i'm not a bit pissed. i was jokin. don't be pissed at yourself, either. this is a process. if you can do it w smokes after a 50plus habit, you can do it with alcohol, too. my gosh, nicotine is supposed to be one of the hardest things to kick. i'm sure it was more than money and lack of reward that got you out of that one...
i've been reading Rational Recovery and it has been making so much sense to me. ignoring that addictive voice in me that is not me, listening to the me that feels so good to be sober, to wake up hangover free.
you can do anything you set your mind to. correct me if i'm wrong, but it sounds a bit like your mind isn't totally made up to be abstinent from al.
above all, please try to be kind to yourself.
peace.
rudy

[Shen]

Failed promise

That's life Bzz! Fall down, get up, dust off, learn. You didn't let me down you showed yourself to be an honest person. Good luck going forward, no matter what you decide we are all in this together.

[BzzBee62]

Failed promise

Shen;1038121 wrote: That's life Bzz! Fall down, get up, dust off, learn. You didn't let me down you showed yourself to be an honest person. Good luck going forward, no matter what you decide we are all in this together.

I may not have let you down, Shen, but I fear I may have let down others who were counting on me. That probably sounds big-headed, stupid, childish etc... I was hoping to set an example.

Next week will help me sort out the pieces.

Bzz.

[RudyB]

Failed promise

you're so endearing, bzz
you are an example, as shen said, of an honest person. sharing your struggle is brave, too. i'd like to count on you to continue to be honest, to share when you can, and to give yourself a flippin break!
rudy

[papmom3]

Failed promise

Here ya go BB=Gia!!



Bzz-not much more I can add to this discussion but I do want to lend you my support as well. As long as you stay honest and open to learning whatever this journey teaches you, you will get to your goal whatever that might be.
Get some lemon water into you so you don't feel too bad tomorrow morning. It's a new day in just a few hours. :l

[BzzBee62]

Failed promise

RudyB;1038133 wrote: you're so endearing, bzz
you are an example, as shen said, of an honest person. sharing your struggle is brave, too. i'd like to count on you to continue to be honest, to share when you can, and to give yourself a flippin break!
rudy

I will aways be honest RudyB, otherwise there's no point in belonging to a community like this. I hope others will be honest too, and if not, they will only serve to fuel the fantasies.

Bzz.

[Dewdrop]

Failed promise

Morning Bzzbee,

I posted this on another thread to you:

Okay Bzzbee hope you are feeling a bit better this morning and ready to get back on the wagon - you don't get off that easy mate The first fall doesn't mean you give up okay ? I managed to get through my first week by only thinking ODAT and some days that was just one minute at a time or one half hour at a time it can be a bit of a white knuckle ride at times. I had to take some days of work because that was a trigger for me, learn what your triggers are and do anything you can to avoid them in the beginning. Maybe the weekend or Saturday night is your trigger time. The advice is to get at least 30 days AF before attempting to mod and many of the more experienced on here recommend at least 90 days. Its your life and your decision and you know best what works for you and everyone navigates their own path through this. Good luck but don't ever give up because we would miss you :l

The only other thing I'd add is to get a plan together I know it really helped me and I still look at it and add or delete things from it. I copied and pasted loads of advice and printed it off into a folder so that I could read it when I wasn't online. Even at this stage I don't take anything for granted and still do have to surf the cravings, albeit much less and not so severe as they used to be in the beginning. You are just starting out on this journey so be kind to yourself and look at this setback as a step towards your goal (whatever that goal is). I know and believe you can do this but you'll only manage to do it if you believe it.

Dewdrop :h