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Not good at asking for help.

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    Not good at asking for help.

    I just read the swimming pool post in General Dicussions and realized that I have been sitting at the edge of the pool with my feet in the water too afraid to get in for almost 3 years now. I know there are people already in the pool that will help me, but I am afraid I will fail them if I try. I really want to stop drinking, but I don't know where to begin. I am so sad most of the time and I know it is the alcohol. I'm pretty sure I can stop for today, but I feel overwhelmed when I have to think beyond that. I could use some help.
    It's personal, myself and I, we've got some straightening out to do. And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket but I've got to get a move on with my life.
    It's time to be a big girl now....

    #2
    Not good at asking for help.

    Welcome IKIT,

    I would recommend starting with the small battles you know you can win, gain some confidence, and move on from there. You said you can go a day without drinking so why not start there, move to the second day, and go from there. There may be some rough patches but try your best to stay true to your goal. We all felt like you do right now.

    Best to you.
    2023 - focus, getting it done, and living the way it should be and being the person I need to be.

    Comment


      #3
      Not good at asking for help.

      IKIT - Welcome! Come on in the shallow end of the pool. Wade around a little bit. Please do not try to think of further than today or even this moment. Trying to think ahead causes too many little mind games to start. I am not going to drink today. Would you like to join me in not drinking today? :h
      "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
      ..........
      AF - 7-27-15

      Comment


        #4
        Not good at asking for help.

        Thank you allswell and NoraC. I will try not to think ahead and I won't drink today. Those are my two goals right now. I was wondering what I am so afraid of and I think it is facing things that make feel sad and all my regrets without anything to numb it. I know I have to just feel my feelings. No matter how bad they are they won't kill me. And my regrets, I'm not quite sure what to do with those yet.
        It's personal, myself and I, we've got some straightening out to do. And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket but I've got to get a move on with my life.
        It's time to be a big girl now....

        Comment


          #5
          Not good at asking for help.

          Hello Iknow,

          I also felt overwhelmed at the prospect of "Never". So, I am telling myself "maybe in the future, but not right now". I hope I can keep saying that for a long, long time.

          :welcome:

          Comment


            #6
            Not good at asking for help.

            :welcome: IknowItsTrue,
            Got to say that thread (swimming pool post ) is a great one....
            I have been drinking most of all my life, sometimes it hard to come to terms with but in time you learn to copy with it, Dont be afraid there are lots of people here to hold out there hands to you and am one of them.:l
            Remember just keep keep coming back and posting (dont give up keep trying), thats what i did, AL numbs all our feelings, it takes time to learn to feel our feelings again and when we do well I could not stop crying but like you have said it did not kill me. The first year AF can be a bit of a roller coaster of emotions but that not Everyone. Keep it in the moment if you have to, join a thread like the ODAT thread is good or there's others. In on a good site here where people care about each other. Good Luck you can do it! x
            Formerly known as Teardrop:l
            sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
            my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

            Comment


              #7
              Not good at asking for help.

              mylife;1039134 wrote: Hello Iknow,

              I also felt overwhelmed at the prospect of "Never". So, I am telling myself "maybe in the future, but not right now". I hope I can keep saying that for a long, long time.

              :welcome:
              I never say the word never, never have like the word never, i just say i intend not to drink today.
              Formerly known as Teardrop:l
              sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
              my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

              Comment


                #8
                Not good at asking for help.

                Hi true,
                Baby steps and all will be well. You sound like you know what to do and you recognise the difficulties and how you will be feeling. That's all to the good, so I don't really have anything else to advise you except to come here and post and chat if you need to. We are all here for you - we've been there too or are there now as well.
                Big hugs - you are strong enough to do this.
                K x
                Recovery Coaching website

                "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

                Recovery Videos

                Comment


                  #9
                  Not good at asking for help.

                  Hi True and Welcome to MWO!
                  The thought of not drinking for life is a very daunting thought at first. When I arrived here, I knew that my life with alcohol was out of control and I had also realized that alcohol was affecting every part of my life in a very negative way. Yet, the thought of how I was going to stop drinking seemed nearly over whelming.

                  Reading the book My Way Out by Roberta Jewel (you can download it here from the store!), really opened my eyes, to the fact that I was not alone. The book helped me to get the courage to write my Personal Sobriety Plan. I worked that plan, one day at a time for many weeks, then I would set weekly, then monthly goals. The most important part of this for me, was to have a no excuses attitude with myself. It does work!

                  Stay close to those here who are really working on their plan....find others who are comitted to their own sobriety. That really, truly helps! You also might want to read through the Tool Box thread and the What is your Personal Plan thread. You also might want to step into chat.

                  Best Wishes to You!
                  Kate
                  A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                  AF 12/6/2007

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Not good at asking for help.

                    Hi IKnow,

                    I had the same fear when I first got here but because I really wanted to stop I just went ahead & jumped in!!!!
                    Turned out there was nothing to fear & everything to gain
                    AF since 03/26/09
                    NF since 05/19/09
                    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Not good at asking for help.

                      Best of luck, it IS doable. And the benefits are amazing, even after a couple of days, and the proper sleeps are great, really hope you make a start
                      Still trying !!!
                      AF 25th June2014

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