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**Shanny5** · January 12, 2011, 05:00 AM

Just made it...

Nice work Change:goodjob:, keep at it.
I can relate exactly to where you are now and the internal chatter that goes on in your head of "will I - wont I?" back and forwards. There's a thread somewhere of me on these forums saying how I cleaned my bathroom one day for four hours while that chatter banged away in my head unmercifully. Once the anticipation takes hold it's not easy is it.
Stay close to these forums if you can, that always really helps me when I'm feeling unsteady in my sobriety. Stay calm, and look forward to how great you're going to feel tomorrow when you wake and and realize you didn't let it get to you.

**Change** · January 12, 2011, 05:03 AM

Just made it...

Thanks Shanny

I just remembered some advice i got here a week or so ago: make a plan!

I've decided that when i trigger, i really need to get out of the house, so i'm going to have to set up some alternatives.

Library, a drive, a walk are some things that come to mind, but i need something more firm than that.

**mollyka** · January 12, 2011, 05:08 AM

Just made it...

Good on you Change. Actually the fact that I'm a fair oul walk to the offie has saved me a fair few times. Not sure how great I'd be if I'd one near me when the longings hit!!
Actually Shanny, I love your words 'when the anticipation takes hold'. That is so very true for me. It's not a sudden craving or trigger - it's a 'little cunning plan' that rumbles underneath the surface - yuck.
Molly

**Change** · January 12, 2011, 05:13 AM

Just made it...

Well, i was kinda glad that i saved $15.00. The other thing is, if i buy a bottle, i'd have to finish the rest of it off tomorrow, which is a real deterrent. If i didn't live on my own, i don't think i'd be so bad. It's the living on my own thing that has exacibated this problem as i have NO ONE to answer to. Well, really i do. I have my conscience to answer to and as a citizen of this world, i have my fellow man (and woman) to answer to.

Anyway, ideals, ideals. I hope it's not a matter of time before i break. And, if i do break, i hope it's not for good. Maybe i need to do some deeper soul-searching, because i honestly felt 'anxious' tonight and bored. Bad combo for ex drinkers like me.

**Popeye** · January 12, 2011, 05:27 AM

Just made it...

You're doing fine Change.
These triggers will come. It's just getting used to the pattern and knowing that they will also go. The more practiced you get, the easier it becomes. Maybe 'easier' isn't the right word. You become more proficient at dealing with the craving.
I really need to do something I enjoy when the cravings arrive. I guess I'm lucky, in that I'm really easily diverted by simple things, like reading or having a bath or going into the garden, weather permitting.
Keep going and I'm sure that you'll find your own tools and tricks to use.
Whatever works for you.
Well done!

**Anjicia** · January 12, 2011, 05:33 AM

Just made it...

Hi change i'm day 9 also and no big cravings yet. I can so relate to the will i won't go to offie have a drink etc. I live on my own also and it can be so easy to slip back when you have only yourself and your conscience to anwser to. Good luck lets make tru Janauary at least for a start.

**Shanny5** · January 12, 2011, 05:38 AM

Just made it...

Change - I lived alone for many years and I can honestly say that boredom was a major factor in my drinking escalating up to uncontrollable proportions. It damned near killed me and boredom is not to be underestimated. It was at that time that I started seeing my doc and experimenting with anti Al meds. The ones I have now work brilliantly so please know that this is always an option too if you ever feel the need.
Please let us know how you go tomorrow

Mollyka - I have noticed that just the mere anticipation of drinking changes me. I become excited, talkative and (apparently) more assertive. It's crazy but just the thought of being buzzed makes me so happy, it's an almost irresistible pull. It also seems to ....how do I put this now?......effect my intestines (sorry) and that's even before the first drink so obviously just the anticipation has altered my biological chemistry. Scary stuff and I'm glad to be free of it.

**hillsidetime** · January 12, 2011, 06:10 AM

Just made it...

Hi Change, good job on fighting the battle. I used to get strong urges when I cooked as well. Although I used to mostly drink beer, when I cooked (on the weekend) I would have red wine.
There are many environmental cues that, for me, triggered an urge to drink. Like you say, TV shows, adds for booze on the TV, places you used to drink in, people you used to drink with. The strength and power these cues have over you, will decrease with time.

Expect the urges to come, due to these cues, or other reasons. Habits, patterns of drinking. Simply being a Thursday or Friday used to bring strong urges for me to drink, while I was at work. Surf the urges like they are waves. It is OK to feel the urge to drink, it will happen. And like last night for you, it will pass. Last night was a long, big wave. Often they don't last that long. They get smaller with time.

All the best, and hang in there,
Hill

**mylife** · January 12, 2011, 06:54 AM

Just made it...

Hi Change and all!

Change, each day that I build up AF seems to work at lessening those triggers. The more days that I've cooked without AL, the less it comes to mind when I start now. I really believe a lot of this addiction is based on most people's liking to have a "routine". Unfortunately, the routine we had was an addictive one, but changing that routine for long enough will starve the addiction eventually.

Good job on 9 days!!

**mollyka** · January 12, 2011, 07:05 AM

Just made it...

When I started all this I remember thinking if I lived alone I would never ever be able to get sober cos I would have no one to be accountable to. Something I have discovered recently is that it absolutely HAS to come from within. An alkie will ALWAYS get drink if that's what THEY want - no husband wife mother father child will stop that, just makes it more unpleasant. Due to my own circumstances at the mo. I am completely and utterly in charge of my own sobriety for the first time and I just am asking myself different questions - do I want to drink, do I want the hangover, the disappointment in myself, the weight gain, the $$$ gone...........not - can I get away with it, will anyone catch me sort of thing. It is so liberating I can't believe it. I hope it lasts. Keep plugging away at the days folks - it's great
Molly

**allswell** · January 12, 2011, 08:22 AM

Just made it...

I think the 10 day to two week mark is when the urges will be at their strongest. That is when we might lose the initial motivation to quit, we start feeling much better, and may get complacent and lose focus on the long term goal. The little voice says "Hey I've got this beat, I've been good for 10 days how about a drink". I've been there many times and can say without doubt the urges will lessen in intensity in time but ONLY if we do NOT give in. If the urge is given in to the next one will be as large or larger. Alcohol conditions us and to get rid of the beast we need to recondition ourselves.

**Change** · January 12, 2011, 04:27 PM

Just made it...

Shanny5;1040163 wrote:
Mollyka - I have noticed that just the mere anticipation of drinking changes me. I become excited, talkative and (apparently) more assertive. It's crazy but just the thought of being buzzed makes me so happy, it's an almost irresistible pull. It also seems to ....how do I put this now?......effect my intestines (sorry) and that's even before the first drink so obviously just the anticipation has altered my biological chemistry. Scary stuff and I'm glad to be free of it.

Lol :wow:

Thanks for your input folks. Apart from being attacked by mosquitos at 2.30am and waking up all itchy, i ended up having a weird sleep and feel a bit better for it at the moment. For some reason, my anxiety is a bit high. I am going to the doctors today and might ask to get put on anti-depressants. At the very least, i am going to ask for something for those sleepless nights.

**Shanny5** · January 12, 2011, 04:50 PM

Just made it...

Hey Change - You made it see...YAY. Keep going now and let the momentum of not drinking take hold.
About the sleeping meds - I did the same thing just recently. Went to my doc to ask for something to help me get to sleep (cravings keep me awake) and she wouldn't give me anything damn it but what she did suggest seems just as good and doesn't need a prescription. It's called Restavit or Doxylamine Succinate. It's not herbal and is the most effective over-the-counter sedative I've tried.
According to Wikipedia:
"Doxylamine is one of the many sedating antihistamines used by itself as a short-term sedative, and in combination with other drugs as a night-time cold and allergy relief drug. It is also used in combination with the analgesics paracetamol (acetaminophen) and codeine as an analgesic/calmative preparation, and is prescribed in combination with vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) to prevent morning sickness in pregnant women."
Might be worth giving it a try as it's not expensive, easy to get and actually works.

**damo180** · January 12, 2011, 05:17 PM

Just made it...

Thanks all, this thread helped me through Day 10. Well done Change !! keep it up.

Many thanks ALLSWELL, I am clinging onto "the urges will lessen". Tonight was tough, but this site is very very helpful. I need to plan tomorrow night better, Thursdays are usually the "start of the weekend" for me.

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