Trying again. Went for five days then posted a thread "Yikes it's Friday". I had reason to be scared. The demon attacked and I didn't have a plan to fight it. Lost the battle that time but I am in for another round.
Must have a plan !! This is my plan.
I will check the toolbox daily for inspiration and ideas on how to fight cravings.
I will buy some more L-Glut and take my supplements
I will bounce on the mini trampoline a few times a day
When cravings hit I will watch them grow from the outside looking in Analising them all the while.
I will write a list of pros and cons of drinking. Here goes !!
Pros: the taste is OK (red wine), like the initial buzz, it gets hubby and I chatting, enjoy the ritualistic component ie. opening, pouring, topping one's glass up, makes the other drunks look normal; not annoying, it's cheap as we make our own, etc...
Cons: it's fattening, it constipates me, it gives me bad breath, it damages my brain cells and my liver (Hello !!!), I need more to be satisfied as time goes on, it's not a good example for my new grandchild or my adult kids, I wake up in the middle of the night hating myself and feeling so dehydrated, my pee smells funny, I say things I would not normally say when drinking, it makes sex less intense, I can't read or do anything useful while drunk, I feel physically unwell the morning after, it seems to control me rather than the other way around.
I have to grab this bull by the horns. At 54 years old, I need to conquer this beast before it conquers me. So far I have been lucky. I am at the bottom of the scale when it comes to amount consumed. That's the reason I keep giving myself to continue. It's only a bottle of wine. Bull Crap !!
My trigger is while cooking supper. Restaurants too but we eat a lot of Asian food and tea is a great alternative which I seem to have no problem with. Hubby supports me but when I say in my whiny voice after abstaining for 5 days "I reeeaaalllly feel like a glass of wine.." he always says "You deserve it." and opens the bottle. That's like opening Pandora's Box. That first night is heaven but we continue then to drink at least a bottle every night after that until I say ENOUGH!! Then it starts all over again.
I feel stupid for even posting since my track record is dismal. But this is my journey and this is my journal. Tonight won't be a problem. My first problem will arrive with my sister from out of town who looks forward to her weekends with us because she gets to drink our homeade wine and let loose from her non-drinking life. I think I will buy some cranberry juice which will take her mind off my not joining her. That is a big issue with me; what other people think and say. I am a Libra. We REALLY care what other people think.
My immediate goal is six weeks of abstinence. Then we leave for our motor home vacation to Key West Florida. Imagine being 10 pounds lighter and not bloated on the day we leave. That is a great incentive. OK that is enough for the first day of this well intentioned journey. It's 8:30 a.m. on Tuesday and for the record: I DON'T DRINK!!
Must have a plan !! This is my plan.
I will check the toolbox daily for inspiration and ideas on how to fight cravings.
I will buy some more L-Glut and take my supplements
I will bounce on the mini trampoline a few times a day
When cravings hit I will watch them grow from the outside looking in Analising them all the while.
I will write a list of pros and cons of drinking. Here goes !!
Pros: the taste is OK (red wine), like the initial buzz, it gets hubby and I chatting, enjoy the ritualistic component ie. opening, pouring, topping one's glass up, makes the other drunks look normal; not annoying, it's cheap as we make our own, etc...
Cons: it's fattening, it constipates me, it gives me bad breath, it damages my brain cells and my liver (Hello !!!), I need more to be satisfied as time goes on, it's not a good example for my new grandchild or my adult kids, I wake up in the middle of the night hating myself and feeling so dehydrated, my pee smells funny, I say things I would not normally say when drinking, it makes sex less intense, I can't read or do anything useful while drunk, I feel physically unwell the morning after, it seems to control me rather than the other way around.
I have to grab this bull by the horns. At 54 years old, I need to conquer this beast before it conquers me. So far I have been lucky. I am at the bottom of the scale when it comes to amount consumed. That's the reason I keep giving myself to continue. It's only a bottle of wine. Bull Crap !!
My trigger is while cooking supper. Restaurants too but we eat a lot of Asian food and tea is a great alternative which I seem to have no problem with. Hubby supports me but when I say in my whiny voice after abstaining for 5 days "I reeeaaalllly feel like a glass of wine.." he always says "You deserve it." and opens the bottle. That's like opening Pandora's Box. That first night is heaven but we continue then to drink at least a bottle every night after that until I say ENOUGH!! Then it starts all over again.
I feel stupid for even posting since my track record is dismal. But this is my journey and this is my journal. Tonight won't be a problem. My first problem will arrive with my sister from out of town who looks forward to her weekends with us because she gets to drink our homeade wine and let loose from her non-drinking life. I think I will buy some cranberry juice which will take her mind off my not joining her. That is a big issue with me; what other people think and say. I am a Libra. We REALLY care what other people think.
My immediate goal is six weeks of abstinence. Then we leave for our motor home vacation to Key West Florida. Imagine being 10 pounds lighter and not bloated on the day we leave. That is a great incentive. OK that is enough for the first day of this well intentioned journey. It's 8:30 a.m. on Tuesday and for the record: I DON'T DRINK!!
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