Love hate relationship with wine

[Wintyr]

Hey guys, my resolve to cut right back on my drinking is somewhat weakening as time goes on, decided last night was a SPECIAL occasion which is my excuse to have a drink from time to time and of course had too much, swore like a trooper and fought with family members all the usual stuff! aahh I hate this feeling!
Ive decided to go on the necessary program so I can get some medication to help me, I really thought I could do this on my own but its so damn hard.
I'm finding that I'm resentful that I can't have a drink when I want one, is this me or my brain tricking me because the desire to WANT to drink regularly is creeping in stronger and stronger and I don't want it to be. Will the medication stop this desire to want a drink? Is this a natural part of the process of trying to remove habitual drinking from your life, is it like death and you go through stages because I'm struggling here, any advice would be appreciated?:thanks:

[bubblex]

Love hate relationship with wine

Hi Wintyr .
i dont have any answers but I so totally understand where you are right now , I am trying to gear up to going AF for as long as possible on Monday but am really scared of trying . I find the thought of never having a drink again too difficult to accept. l think I have to do it a step at a time .Wine is my weakness but when I am honest with myself it is really only the first one or two glasses that I actually honestly appreciate .. its just that after that I cant stop ! I just want to say good luck ( to both of us ) & i think this site is a godsend . I may not have got there yet but so many people have & not only that , they seem to understand the blips & the difficulty we face .

[mollyka]

Love hate relationship with wine

Hi Wintyr and Bubbles. You fairly much put your finger on it Wintyr - in a bizarre sort of way when you give up booze at the beginning it is a sort of grieving process, it's not just the wine we drink, it's a whole way of life that has to change, and at first it seems so bloody intense and sometimes just TOO big to do, that's where ODAT comes in, we can all deal with today but not gazing at the rest of our lives without alcohol. Don't even think about tomorrow, just vow that 'today I will not drink' - and each day that goes by it just gets easier and somehow more remote and less important. I'm not saying the longings and cravings ever go away completely - I wouldn't know I'm not sober that long, but for the short time I am sober I definitely find it gets easier as it goes along. You also learn coping skills with time and little ways to trick the booze brain - I presume you have investigated the tool box? If not someone will give you a link (I still can't do that). Once the benefits start kicking in - no hangovers, healthy liver, hair, skin, weight loss, more money (I can go on for ages), the balance shifts in your head and sobriety starts to outweigh the attractions of drinking.
Stick with it - get a bit of time under your belt - and truly it will seem a much more attractive option! Stick around here, and listen to the folks with serious sober time behind them and just observe by their posts how content they are with their lives - they inspire me anyhows!!
Best of luck both of you with your journey!
Molly

[Wintyr]

Love hate relationship with wine

Hi Bubblex, just your understanding is such a comfort to me I too cannot accept the words " I'll never drink again" I feel I have to put a clause in my going off alcohol by allowing a drink on certain occasions to kind of trick myself or something, as soon as I say to myself thats it I go a little crazy, scince I've tried cutting back its as if Im obsessed with thinking about it, I think about it so much more now then before and its exhausting, Im so sick of this damn committee in my mind all voting to drink! with one little voice saying no getting weaker and weaker. This is why Im hoping and praying the medication will remove all those little voices telling me to drink for a while.

[Wintyr]

Love hate relationship with wine

Thankyou Mollyka that gives me hope.

[bubblex]

Love hate relationship with wine

What meds are you trying Wintyr ? I am sort of going to try this solo but am interested to know what you re doing & if it helps . You know if we do this just day to day maybe we ll get some where . I really hope so . I dont know about you but I m lucky if I get beyond about 3 days AF. SO I reckon if I can manage at least a week I will have made a real acheivement. Maybe we could both give it a go ?

[Wintyr]

Love hate relationship with wine

Im not on any meds at the moment I managed about 18 days on my own which was quite an achievement for me however my resolve is just getting weaker and weaker and its getting harder and harder instead of easier as I expected. Id be happy to share this journey with you day to day bubblex So your day one will be Monday and yes I too find 3 days a real challange. the L Glutamine does help though that stuff is amazing, it takes the edge off the really bad cravings so make sure you get yourself some of that for your journey. I was wondering if anyone could give me advice on the meds how effective they are etc?

[ATLThrash]

Love hate relationship with wine

In some ways it is alot like any habit we try to break-- like if you are trying to diet or exercise and you just think-- I cannot stand the thought of not eating X or having to exercise every day-- the difference though is that on diets and exercise programs -- we can and should take breaks sometimes but as problem drinkers we shouldn't or can't without bad consequences. I know when I stopped for a long while the first feelings I had were so mournful-- and mad at others that they could drink and I could not. I also was very resolute at first because the feelings of shame and anxiety were so strong but as time went on those would fade and I would just long for it. It took a long time and I am still going through it to condition myself to not drinking-- telling myself over and over that I know it will progress until I drink too much-- that is why it is called a progressive disease, I guess- that it generally just keeps getting worse if you continue with it over time. I moderated some last year with lots of AF periods and then decided I would just go AF-- I could not take the hamster wheel of thinking about if I was going to drink, how much, etc. What got me to really have long AF times and lowere drinking was that I realized that in fact I was never going to get away from teh worse effects of booze-- for me they were not doing anything bad, illegal, etc-- they were feeling crushing guilt and anxiety-- I figured-- if drinking anything has now lead to this-- just screw it! Believe me, if I did not have those feelings I probably would drink-- but then-- if it had not gotten to the point of having those feelings I would not be a problem drinker that needed to stop.

The worst consequence with my drinking so far has been that I never lost the weight that I put on being pregnant with my son. I gained way too much (80 lbs) and after I had him due to some complications and other bad things I could not nurse-- so I started drinking due to stress and boredom and lost only 20 of the pounds-- now I am just sick of it so my vain shallow self is endeavoring to stop. I figure it is as good a reason as any since being fat can also cause health problems big time.

Good luck-- let us know how you are doing! You can do this-it is tough but I do think it is possible!

[Wintyr]

Love hate relationship with wine

Thats some words of wisdom ATLThrash thankyou for sharing with me.

[oceansize]

Love hate relationship with wine

Wintyr - have you tried supplements?

L-Glutamine has helped me so much to curb my major binges and start to get things under control. Check out this thread: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f22/why-l-glutamine-works-33457.html

[Brigitte Bardot]

Love hate relationship with wine

Hi there Wintyr,

It took me a long time to come to that conclusion, that I just can't drink. I went through the last few years of going back and forth and going through the same things as you. I am not the nicest when I'm drunk, and I was blacking out and not remembering any of it which made it worse the next day. I have managed to become AF without the help of meds like Antabuse and the others; whatever method works for you is great, it's all a personal choice and the end result is what matters. I may have stopped sooner if I have the meds, I don't know, but the point is I did stop and you will too. You will reach that point where you can't even be bothered to say "Never Again" because you just won't ever do it, you'll reach that point. Good luck to you, I wish you all the best. Never give up.

[Jolie]

Love hate relationship with wine

Wynter & bubblex,

:welcome: You guys have already read a lot of good advice here. I am on my third "official" try at going AF. For some reason - it's working this time. I'm not on any of the meds but for the first couple of weeks, I was using the l-glutamine and have to say it really helped. Initially I thought I would try to moderate but my hardheaded brain has finally got the picture - I CAN'T! I will never want to stop at 1 or 2 glasses of wine - it doesn't get me to that place where I used to think I wanted to be. I can honestly tell you that after being AF for 20 days, the eternal shame/guilt when waking up is gone! My wallet is thanking me as well. Feel healthier and SOOO much happier. Hope you guys can get to this place as well. The hard part is going to be staying here but MWO will help you! Keep posting and reading - that's what's been a lifesaver for me!

Good luck to you both!

[bubblex]

Love hate relationship with wine

Hi all ,

Thanks so much for your advice . I am gearing myself up for Monday -- I am so fed up with the anxiety & guilt in the early hours of the morning , not being able to remember the plot of the movie I watched with my family, feeling so ashamed of myself . I know its going to be hard but I really want to give it a go .

Wintyr , I think 18 days is amazing, you should be so chuffed !! , Can I ask a stupid question ? L - glutamine , is it easy to buy & what sort of shop ? .

Thanks everyone .

[gyco]

Love hate relationship with wine

life is what it is

Wintyr;1046004 wrote: Hey guys, my resolve to cut right back on my drinking is somewhat weakening as time goes on, decided last night was a SPECIAL occasion which is my excuse to have a drink from time to time and of course had too much, swore like a trooper and fought with family members all the usual stuff! aahh I hate this feeling!
Ive decided to go on the necessary program so I can get some medication to help me, I really thought I could do this on my own but its so damn hard.
I'm finding that I'm resentful that I can't have a drink when I want one, is this me or my brain tricking me because the desire to WANT to drink regularly is creeping in stronger and stronger and I don't want it to be. Will the medication stop this desire to want a drink? Is this a natural part of the process of trying to remove habitual drinking from your life, is it like death and you go through stages because I'm struggling here, any advice would be appreciated?:thanks:

hi wintyr this a very interestin thread,and sad :upset: to,the key is in the words ,resentful,anyone can drink,the thing is, drinking ? it is like riding a bike,when we fall off to many ties, it hurts like hell,so you teach your self not to Fall:H whether you drink or not, life will bee a struggle,:goodjob:i do wish you well,but is going to be a long journey,one way or the other gyco

[Cassia]

Love hate relationship with wine

Hey wintyr,

I know how you feel about wine...I love it and wish desperately that I could stop after two glasses. But something in my brain just clicks from the moment that I have it...I just want more and more.

I have been sober for 31 days and the cravings still come. I would say that I miss the wine but that's not it. I miss the social aspect that came with having a few glasses of wine. I am learning to readjust. It's been hard, I aint gonna lie to you but I am getting there. And one day I will be able to go to a bar or pub and not drink and still enjoy the social aspect.

My biggest benefit of not drinking is getting my focus and motivation back. I have so much energy, I work out more, I am not exhausted after the gym. I have accomplished so much in the last month that I have been trying to accomplish in last six and I wholeheartedly believe that it is a result of being af.

Good luck on your journey. I should also say I haven't used any meds or any supplements. It's just been sheer determination, hard work and anticipating my trigger points and making a plan for them before they even arise. You can do this.

L x