scared

[lisad]

Hi everyone, I have looked at the MWO site many times but, have been reluctant to reach out.......It scares me to stop drinking wine completely......lots of anxiety about that so I am going for drinking in moderation first and then possibly abstinence. I know that is not a very good choice but it's what my heart is telling me to do right now. I understand that drinking can increase anxiety and I am on meds for anxiety and depression....I am babbling:new: sorry! My simple story is that I have made myself believe that I can't relax w/o a glass of wine (or more) at night. I have gone through this for 20 plus years (I'm 45)...Anyway, no more babbling, just wanted to get on board. Thanks for reading and thanks in advance if you are cheering me on! Lisad

[dancingon]

scared

Hi scared

Many of us start of trying to moderate. It works for some and not for others. However, my feeling is that you start where you can and gradually you work out what works for you.
Wilfred Wheer, author of In Love with Daylight writes that giving up booze felt at first "like nothing so much as sitting in a great art gallery and watching the paintings being removed one by one until there was nothing left but white walls."
A lot of us can identify with that terror at what will be left if we give up altogether. Won't it be really boring? Many of us feel that we need to drink to face social situations and that WE will be boring without alcohol. However, what you discover is that the alcohol keeps you isolated, bored and limited and stops you from coping with situations yourself.

[Lavande]

scared

Hi lisad,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place

Your story sounds exactly like mine!
Two years ago I was in the same boat - I knew I had to quit but was afraid.
I can honestly tell you there is nothing to fear! You will lose nothing & gain so much!
Think about it - your anxiety will all but disappear, your self-esteem & confidence will sky-rocket, you will start everyday clear headed with no remorse - perfect!

Be sure to read the MWO book if you haven't already & look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for good ideas to make your plan.

Drop in the Newbies Nest thread & say hello!

I made a firm commitment to quit drinking - I did it & you can too!
Best wishes on your journey.

Lav

[jennyneric]

scared

Welcome!

I spent 6 months knowing I needed to stop but couldn't. I cut down from 8oz a night to 4 but I was still waking up hungover. Then I cut down to 3 with the same result. I put my foot down on November 12th and have messed up and drank 7 or 8 times since but I get up and brush off and jump right back in here and you know that in the last 2 months I have woken up happier and felt better that I have in a long time. My point is keep reading and there will come a day that you will not be scared and will wonder about this wonderful sober life the people here talk about and you will put down your glass of wine and try it out. You may not get it perfect the first few times and, much like learning to ride a bike, you will fall down, but most of us get right back up and try again! You can do it, no problem, you just have to want to and you have to stop listing to the beast of alcohol addiction that is in your head telling you to be scared.

Courage!

[hillsidetime]

scared

Hi Lisad, and welcome. The good news is that you have realised that alcohol has power over you, and you need to turn that around. Whether it is moderation, or stopping, the choice is yours. Gaining power over alcohol is what we all need. Keep us posted with how you are doing, we are here for you.
Hill

[Brigitte Bardot]

scared

Hi Lisa and welcome to MWO,

It is scary; the thought of giving up something which is a huge part of your life. Whether it's for your own good or not, it's still not easy. I was on anxiety meds as well for a while and the one good thing about when I stopped drinking (full stop) I didn't need them anymore, at all. I'm not on anything. I no longer feel the stress I used too, my anxiety is minimal even under stressful situations and I am sleeping well pretty much everynight now. Alcohol robbed me from all of that, and I decided enough was enough. It was bittersweet, I missed my glass (bottle) of wine for a while then you will find that will fade as well..it does take time to break a nasty habit such as this but it can be done.

Wishing you all the best,

[Mstall]

scared

Hi Lisa,

I was more scared that i wouldnt be able to give up drinking rather than scared of giving it up, if that makes sense.

You've taken the first big step in posting! I wish you all the best on this wonderful journey you are about to embark on.

[mario]

scared

Hi lisa and welcome to mwo,This is a great place with lots of support and good advice,We have/are all been there, you are not alone,keep posting & reading,Goodluck.

[Bluejay]

scared

:welcome:

[ATLThrash]

scared

Lisa-- I am sure you have heard it said about alcohol that it starts out as your best friend but becomes your worst enemy--for me, I know I used to feel so much anxiety about stopping. I moderated to a totally societally acceptable pace too-- but I noticed that I STILL woke up anxious, guilty full of shame. I think at first for sure but even later after stopping we long for our best friend that we thought alcohol was-- not what it has become in reality to us. I used to be on antianxiety meds and antidepressants-- now I am on nothing at all and feel much better. Stick with it-- it gets easier and you will feel so much better!

[lil.michelle]

scared

Welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know it's scary when giving up drink. I honestly remember sitting talking with my in laws and thinking to myself, how can the go through a day and night without any drink... I couldn't understand how that would ever be possible.. how could they relax, not get bored, sleep ect ect The idea that somebody could do that happily was a crazy thought. I will admit.. when i gave up it was bloody hard to get through it but i learnt that i needed to change my daily routine and keep busy.
NOW i sit here and think... how can someone drink everynight...how can someone wake up everyday feeling rubbish or with a hangover.. how can someone live happily knowing that there drinking is causing there depression to be much worse and to let a liquid, A LIQUID cause anxiety and rule there life (we wouldn't let a glass or orange juice to that to us)

It takes time but you if you really try and put all you will power into it, you'll do it snd it'll be less scary everyday.
If i can do it... anyone can!

[lisad]

scared

scared

Thank you everyone for your stories and encouragement! They are inspiring and uplifting

[rebirth]

scared

Welcome lisad,

I cant add much to what has already been said. But I would just like to share my experience with you. I initially tried moderating for just over a year. I would manage two to three days Af but would still binge drink the rest of the week. I was still getting drunk, blacking out, feeling ashamed etc. About seven months ago I decided that abstinence was the only way. I managed five months of abstinence. The past two months I have had the odd drink and each time I have drank, it is with extreme caution. I am happy with my progress so far because I feel I have resolved my drinking problem. If i feel that I am starting to lose control again then abstinence is the only way for me.

You have just got to try out all your options as only you know whats best for you. Best of luck and stay posted. x

[rebirth]

scared

lil.michelle;1047016 wrote: NOW i sit here and think... how can someone drink everynight...how can someone wake up everyday feeling rubbish or with a hangover.. how can someone live happily knowing that there drinking is causing there depression to be much worse and to let a liquid, A LIQUID cause anxiety and rule there life (we wouldn't let a glass or orange juice to that to us)

I have the exact same thoughts! It just shows how cunning and powerful alcohol is. When misused it truely is a poison to the mind.

[Guest]

scared

Alcohol simply doesn't offer me anything, I even feel rubbish after the first mouthful. Hence why my goal has been complete abstenance for a long time. The lifestyle I'd like also isn't compatible with the stuff anyway. So I'd just rather not.