I'm back

[middlepathpilgrim]

Hello all,

It's been awhile, but I'm back again. Rough, very rough, three years--DH's job loss, bankruptcy, death of my closest friend, just moved, etc. I can't say as I remember many sober days in there. I'm back to drinking two bottles of wine a night and I have to stop. Winter is hard on me and the alchohol is just worsening the depression. I've lost 14 lbs in the last three weeks and not the good way.

Unpacked the CD player, found the CDs and book. Took my Topamax yesterday. (Missed my vitamins since I was too hungover to eat.) Going to jump in the shower, grab some breakfast, take my supplements and get back on track. Get my life back.

Thanks for being there.

[middlepathpilgrim]

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Check

Shower, check. Breakfast, check. Supplements, check. Extra water, check.... Still shaking but still moving.

[JackieClaire]

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We haven't met but I'd like to say :welcome: back.

Looking forward to getting to know you,

J x
:l

[middlepathpilgrim]

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Hello JackieClaire. Good to see your typing. Looking forward to getting to know you.:thanks:

[mauritiusdodo]

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Hi I don't know you either but welcome back and hope you are ok ((hugs))

[whenwillichange]

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Welcome back! sounds like you are on the right path. Good luck
When

[Wagoneer]

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Welcome back! Stress was always my trigger. That and anything else I could think of that would justify me having a glass of wine! Best of luck - stay close for a while just to get the ball rolling. Get a few days under your belt and the clear head going and there will be no stopping you!

Love Waggy

[Lavande]

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Welcome back,

You already know this is a good place!
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, very stressful indeed.

I wish you strength in the coming days, this is not an easy path but it is the right one.
Make sure to look in the good old Tool Box if you need some fresh ideas. And jump into a few of the threads, make yourself comfortable :l

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[Seethepony]

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For what it's worth, last year I switched from beer to wine - you know, cos a glass of red wine is healthy etc (!)... - and, after 12 years heavy drinking, the beer was just killing me. For a few weeks I thought "I've found it!" - the elixir, a decent amount of booze that didn't leave me feeling like death the next day. This was a bottle of red, which I always drank watered down to lengthen it and make it more beer-like in strength.
Of course, that one bottle ended up turning into 2, so for a few weeks I was doing 2 bottles per night. And that felt like SHITE, no matter how much I watered it down...

Prompted by major SOS signals from my body - panic attacks, heart palpitations etc, on top of the run-of-the-mill zombie-style hangovers, I finally did what I'd been intending to do for at least a year: I started taking baclofen. Braced myself for a long slog with dreadful side effects, which I'd been warned about on this forum. To my unspeakable joy, I became completely indifferent to booze after less than 2 weeks of starting. My alcohol intake went to zero, from whatever the hell it had been. Without any effort on my part, none of this tedious "one day at a time" mantra. It just happened, by itself. It was a fucking shock to find myself living in a non-alcoholic body all of a sudden.

Most people don't react so well to baclofen, and 75 mg / day is a very low point at which to "hit the switch" as they say. But it saved my bacon. I'm fairly sure that I would be in deep shit, medically speaking, had I continued chugging 2 bottles of wine a day. Anyway, I just wanted you to be aware of this option as it can be an almost miraculous way out of non-stop booze slavery. Good luck.

[middlepathpilgrim]

I'm back

Everyone THANKS!

Didn't make it tonight clean (made it to 5:00) but just 1/3 of the usual and actually kissed my daughter goodnight for the first time in 3 years! So, good start! Good night and good tomorrow. Thanks, guys/gals for being there. There's some incredible things coming into my life, just need to be able to greet them. Taking another dose of Topamax tonight... Titrating up fast up (.25mg for the last three days) but think I can do it. My sweet spot was 100 mg. when my "switch" kicked in. Need to get to bed. Will check in tomorrow.

Thanks again!

[mauritiusdodo]

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Well done on your achievement middlepath and best of luck for today

[middlepathpilgrim]

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Thanks everyone!

Breakfast, vitamins and topamax! Gotta run for a meeting but sooo grateful that you guys are there. Feeling good about today!

[LadyLush]

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All,
It is amazing how similar we all are. Let us fight this war together. I have ordered my Baclofen and am anxiously waiting.
That dang wine has a strong hold on me too but I can not let it continue to win.
Welcome back Middle! I love the unique name!

Lady