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    Here Again

    Last year I found this sanctuary stayed then thought I could do it on my own.... such a mistake... I now know it can't be that way for me....

    Where do I start... all the usual stuff we all know, but this time now I met someone who has turned out to be an amazing friend, he has become my rock in life, hE WAS my distraction for a while without him knowing, he knows I had a drink problem ....what he doesn't know is I'm hiding the fact I do have a problem from him....I'm drinking again... I so want to stop it, I want to be A GOOD MOM, GOOD wife, I want to be The person my friend believes I am, I'm fed up of lying and covering up and hiding the empties...... I want to be the Mom my kids deserve.... I WANT TO BE SOBER.....I just seem to fail
    WHAT CAN I SAY? I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE..


    Just taking it day by day.......

    #2
    Here Again

    Aww Leave,:l

    :welcome: back hun, glad to see you posting again but so sorry you're having troubles again.

    You know the drill, keep posting ,keep reading.

    Another look in the tool box

    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

    Look forward to seeing you about.

    J x
    :l
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

    Comment


      #3
      Here Again

      Hi Leave,

      Welcome back, I don't think we've met but I'm in the same boat, and have just recently come back for support. Stay strong, you.....we can do this. PM me anytime. :l
      :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

      Comment


        #4
        Here Again

        Welcome back Leave. Sounds like you have lots of good reasons to stay sober. One day at a time, you can do it!
        Change your thoughts, and you change your world. - Norman Vincent Peale

        Comment


          #5
          Here Again

          JackieClaire;1052529 wrote: Aww Leave,:l

          :welcome: back hun, glad to see you posting again but so sorry you're having troubles again.

          You know the drill, keep posting ,keep reading.

          Another look in the tool box

          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

          Look forward to seeing you about.

          J x
          :l
          Hi JC yeah here I am again.... as you saidI know the drill but why does the bbbb..ffff.tttt have to seem so appealing....
          WHAT CAN I SAY? I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE..


          Just taking it day by day.......

          Comment


            #6
            Here Again

            "why does the bbbb..ffff.tttt have to seem so appealing"

            Uh, cos it does wonders for your spelling? What the ffff are you talking about?

            Comment


              #7
              Here Again

              Hi ACK and Jude....

              I guess we all know the drill
              WHAT CAN I SAY? I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE..


              Just taking it day by day.......

              Comment


                #8
                Here Again

                Hi leaveinsilence, and welcome back. We all need a little help from time to time, that is what makes us human. I hope that we can help you a little. It sounds like you are really ready to change your life, that is great, you can do it. As you know it is a tough battle, but one that can be done.

                Let us know your plan so we can help. I am sure you are a great mom already, but being sober can only make you better! For me, having two young kids who got to an age that they knew what beer was, and could smell it on me, was a huge factor in my quitting. I don't want them to remember me with a beer glued to my hand.

                Hang in there, one day at at time, you can do it.
                Hill
                Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Here Again

                  Welcome back Leaveinsilence!

                  I have just gone to the Toolbox as Jackie recommended and re-read the first four pages. It's a wonderful source of information and inspiration -- just keep reading and posting. We can do this!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Here Again

                    Leave,

                    Welcome back! I remember you from when you were here last time. For me, I don't think I wanted it badly enough - not sure what clicked but something did and I've got 30 days under my belt - not bragging - just saying that I never thought I could do it. I believe in you and just the fact that you came back means you are trying!

                    Good luck to you friend - hope to see you here posting - welcome back!

                    :l
                    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Here Again

                      Hi Leave,

                      Just got back myself. Had a conversation with my 8-year-old last night that broke my heart. Yes, I too need to be the Mom my daughter deserves. We can do it!

                      Glad you're back!:h

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Here Again

                        Hi all, Leave, Middle,

                        I am with you all on this. My daughter is 10 and I have let wine control me for too long.
                        I am going to be strong and beat this demon.
                        Welcome back all!

                        Lady
                        The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

                        *Don't look where you fall, look why you slipped*

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Here Again

                          Hi Leave

                          Many of us have shameful or heartbreaking memories relating to our kids and many of us have still fallen off and given up despite knowing that we don't want to model this behaviour for our kids. They see our excesses and they love us anyway, but it scares them at times. My daughter has recently shared a little of her feelings about my drinking. I was kind of scared to bring it up as I would rather pretend she didn't notice. It helps to keep the resolve going. But believe in yourself too and that you deserve to change.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Here Again

                            Thanks for all the supportive messages, I just wish I'd had the strength to climb out from the wine glass (as my friend calls it when i fall back ) to read them.

                            New day, new start yet again, I woke up with a empty glass rather than full one at the side of the bed this morning, so the temptation just to finish it off wasn't there, so my goal is to make it through today, baby steps right?
                            WHAT CAN I SAY? I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE..


                            Just taking it day by day.......

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Here Again

                              Hi Leaveinsilence....I can identify, also. I'm only on day 10, but my decision to quit lies not only in the damage that I was doing to my body, but the overwhelming feelings of knowing that I wasn't being the best mom I could be...It's an awful feeling but I'm trying to use the "awfulness" of it as motivation to stop...

                              I also took AL to bed with me regularly. And I soooo can relate to looking over and if there was some left in the morning - well, why not drink it? And so it starts all over again....

                              Jump on here as much as you can today - and when you make it, then you can worry about tomorrow...:h
                              ~

                              Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

                              Sobriety date: Sept 26, 2011

                              Comment

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