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    #1

    Am I...

    Am I an alcoholic? Unlike asking yourself if you are insane, I can probably guess that the appropriate answer is "yes".

    I have at a minimum a bottle of wine a night (I can't and won't drink during the M-F 8-5 work day), but I would prefer 1.5 to 2 bottles a night. I taste wine in my mouth night and day. I think about it night and day. Because I am so healthy, my doctor isn't "that" concerned with my minimum of 4 drinks a night, but he would prefer less. I don't keep hard liquor in the house because I don't have the willpower. I would go through a small bottle of crown in a night. Two, tops.

    I'll pick a show to watch on the Tivo, and my husband will look at me blankly and tell me we watched it last night. Even on one bottle of wine I don't remember. Small pieces may come back, but most of it is gone. Why the fuck can't I remember on one bottle of wine! Am I losing my mind? Have I killed that many braincells already?

    If I don't drink one night, I can't sleep. I sweat and I shake. I'm hot so I throw the covers off, and then I'm cold. Are withdrawals that soon.

    I guess I am an alcoholic.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Am I...

    Hi Butterfly-wings what a great name!
    Well, if your anything like me... I found myself here searching the internet to find answers to if I was or wasn't an alcoholic. In all honesty, I was hoping to find out I wasn't so that I could still drink. It was so helpful to find people asking themselves the same question. Since your here I think it would be helpful to learn as much as you can about the effect alcohol can have on your health. Your doctor may not see your drinking as a problem (yet) but it's a real slippery slope. The blackouts you are experiencing are something to take very serious. Black outs are the main reason I don't drink anymore. I was starting to experience them way to frequently and it was starting to concern me. Good for you on really looking at the way you drink and seeing that you may have a problem. That takes a ton of courage! I use to think I was an insomniac who needed booze to sleep myself. Now that it is completely out of my system, I sleep just fine. Good luck to you Butterfly-wings this is a wonderful place to get support on whatever you decide to do about your circumstances.

    Comment

      #3
      Am I...

      Hi Butterflywings, and welcome. You ask a very good question, one that many of us have asked over one time or other, like Choice mentions.

      One option for you would be to take a month off of drinking. This month off would help to clear your mind, and allow you (perhaps), better perspective on things. After 3 or 4 week of being sober, you may have a better idea in regards to your power over alcohol, or its power over you.

      If not drinking for a month is easy, natural, does not cause you anxiety or stress, or headaches or whatever, that will also tell you something.

      Hope this helps,
      Hill
      Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

      Comment

        #4
        Am I...

        hi hunni,
        I wouldn't sit and ask 'am i an alcoholic' or sit and think of yourself as one. I think what you need to do is think and ask yourself.. 'am i happy with my drinking' 'am i happy with my life with drink' 'do i feel i'm drinking too much'... I think the answer to these questions will be yes as you're here. That is the same with most of us... some people drink 1 bottle every few days, many 1/2 bottles of wine a night, some 4 bottles a night or day. It doesn't matter. All the matters are we're here to change and seek an AL free life or atleast one with a lot less of the stuff in it.
        You mentioned what happens when you don't drink.. i do personally believe it's withdrawal. It sounds just like it. It does happen that fast and can last for a good few days... maybe a week or so. I always look at it as your body getting you back for pumping all that poison into it. It is just your body detoxing itself and it will get better quickly.
        I also do not believe you're going crazy or losing it for not remember after a bottle of wine... I damn well can't remember after a bottle either even tho i used t drink 1-1/2 bottles a night.
        It's really nice to see you here Xxxx

        Comment

          #5
          Am I...

          perfectly said michelle
          I love my family more than alcohol.:h
          Live in the Solution....not the problem

          Comment

            #6
            Am I...

            Thank you all for the wonderful responses. You have given me a lot to think about.

            I'm so glad I found this site. I have a feeling I'll be a regular fixture or at least lurker here.

            Comment

              #7
              Am I...

              Welcome, Butterfly great that you found us, this site really does change lives. I hope you find what you are searching for.
              Keep safe
              KTAB
              Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

              Comment

                #8
                Am I...

                butterfly-wings,

                If you had not have posted that, I would have totally believed you read my mind about me!
                I am so glad you are here. I have found out this is the place to be when you think you are alone.
                I believe we have made a major step by just finding this place..

                LL
                The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

                *Don't look where you fall, look why you slipped*

                Comment

                  #9
                  Am I...

                  Before I began my AF journey last saturday, I was having black outs and didn't even know it. I would try so hard to remember things my kids said they told me, or things I did, and I "only" could drink two maybe two and a half a night. At first I lied to them. Oh that's right I remember that. But I was seriously getting concerned and weirded out. I thought blackouts were for hard liquor alcoholics who had to keep vodka in their system all day and night.

                  Your symptoms sound like my withdraw. I had sweats Sunday night, monday night, no sleep tuesday night, and finally wednesday night I slept like I can't ever remember. It was amazing. I am taking trazadone, it helps with the twitching and startles, but it really didn't help me sleep. I hope you keep reading all the amazing information and experiences you'll find here.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Am I...

                    Hey Butterfly-Wings, I drink 1/2 a bottle a night (just stopped... again) and I get black-outs. I weigh 130 lbs whether that makes a difference or not but sometimes hubby will be laughing about some insane remark I made the night before and I fake-laugh because I really can't remember. I thought it was just me. No sweats though. I thought i needed wine to sleep too but am sleeping like a baby and boy does my mouth taste sweet in the mornings compared to last week ... and the week before... and the w....

                    I got tears in my eyes when I read all the supportive messages the gang has sent you. We are so blessed to have this site. Thank you again everyone.
                    Tipplerette

                    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                    ? Lao-Tzu

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Am I...

                      Hi burtterfly - wings,

                      Welcome to MWO, this is a good place!
                      I asked myself the same question two years ago & have found it doesn't matter what you call yourself. If you are concerned about your drinking then you need to make some changes!

                      The best way to start is to download & read the MWO book from the Health Store here. It is full of good info about the program.
                      You need to make a good plan for yourself too. Look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for good ideas.

                      It really helped me to check in frequently, post in the Newbies Nest & some other threads. You'll make a lot of friends & receive some priceless support

                      Best wishes to you on your journey!

                      Lav
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Am I...

                        I feel like I am missing so much and drinking my life away. I'm going to start my sobriety journey on Monday. Sunday is Super Bowl weekend (and I live in Dallas), so I need to be realistic about tomorrow. However, I'm going to keep it in moderation.

                        Thanks again everyone. I don't feel alone anymore!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Am I...

                          butterfly-wings,
                          I am in the DFW area as well. Again, I could have posted your post and signed it with my name and there would be no difference.
                          I will join you on Monday; we can do this! :l
                          The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

                          *Don't look where you fall, look why you slipped*

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Am I...

                            Good luck with tomorrow Butterfly and Ladylush.
                            I had blackouts on a bottle or so, and too often I wouldn't remember conversations or events, and even once scarily didn't remember driving somewhere. I would fall asleep sometimes when i was going to watch a movie with my daughter. It's no life.
                            I read somewhere that to start with your tolerance goes up so you need more, but then you reach a point where much less is needed to tip you over the edge.
                            Set a goal. If you aren't ready to commit to giving up entirely yet, see if you can commit to going for 48 hours or a week first. Cutting down is hard (or impossible) for many of us and I suggest you get a few days AF under your belt to encourage you. If you have withdrawl symptoms it may not be easy at first but it does pass, and don't be afraid to tell that doctor if you realise you need medication.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Am I...

                              Thank you Dancin,

                              There is no other choice but sobriety. It is people like you that give me hope and a mission.

                              Thanks from my heart..
                              The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

                              *Don't look where you fall, look why you slipped*

                              Comment

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