Newbie in Stage 1

[jenniech]

I am on my 5th day of sobriety. I was a one bottle of wine a night drinker, with an occasional binge if out and about....Like Cancer, I think Alcholism comes in 4 stages. Stage 1 is fully treatable but is a fight. Stage 2 requires more treatment and a harder battle. Stage 3 you have a 50/50 chance of surviving and Stage 4 is fatal.

I think I am in Stage 1. My husband and mother (she lives next door and we have "cocktails" together every night) both think I DO NOT have a problem at all and think I am being ridiculous when I tell them how upsetting this is for me. They say because I work full time and have children and manage the house, I need something to take the edge off at the end of the day. Well, that is true, but I would wake up everymorning feeling awful. Plus, I would lay awake several hours in the middle of the night, unable to sleep. I work out at the gym every day, have a high stress career, two children and a mother to take care of and a husband. I live a pretty good life but for the drinking. Although highly functional, I was miserable drinking like that every night. And I HAD to finish the bottle.....

So, I am on my 5th day. I will not let this disease kill me like it killed my father (he was 57 when he died of complications from alcohol abuse). I am glad I found this site. I am also seeing a specialist once a week about the emotional reasons I have for drinking. And then I will start AA meetings eventually.....but I am so sad to lose the wonderful relationship I once had with wine.....I know it sounds silly, but I feel like I did in college when someone broke up with me.

[Peacefull]

Newbie in Stage 1

Hi Jennie,
I am a returning regular - finished 3 months AF then tried to moderate and failed miserably. Feeling awful today after my weekend binge, but that's it!!!!

Being highly functional tricked me into thinking I am not an alcoholic and just this past month have admitted to myself that I am and starting on my AF journey once again.

This site is a wonderful resource and it helped me to make it to 3 months, I am not straying away from here this time no matter how long. I would like to try AA but am a bit scared and there aren't any around here just for women which I would prefer.

[Cassia]

Newbie in Stage 1

Hi jenniech,

Welcome..great to have you here. As you explore the threads you will find a lot of people in similar situations to you...highly functioning, friends/family don't think they have an issue but inside, they feel uncomfortable. I was told early on that it doesn't matter how much you drink, if you are unhappy about it then it is time to do something about it.

Good luck on our your journey. I found early on that identifying my trigger points and planning for them helped immensely. Everyone on here is incredible...a lot of newbies like me and a lot of people with long term sobriety!

I wish you well!!!

L x

[Sharky]

Newbie in Stage 1

Welcome Jenniech! You will find this siter to be very beneficial. Ton's of great people all here for the same reason. Your situation sounds very similar to mine work etc.. However my wife knows I have a problem and rides me about it (which doesn't help). Keep posting and congratulations on Day 5. Day 1 (again) for me. Recently was able to go 30 days AF and I felt great. I would love to be able to MOD and have an occasional beer/wine on special occasions. Not sure if I can do it.

[jenniech]

Newbie in Stage 1

I don't think I can do MOD...at least not now. I also had quite a scare last week that is helping me stay off the wine. My boss, a very serious alcoholic, passed out while we were entertaining clients at a fancy steakhouse in the city. Then, when a couple of guys at our table finally got him up to take him back to his hotel, he collapsed (all 400 pounds of him) on the bar room floor. He had passed out. they did eventually get him back to his room but it was SO UPSETTING to me. I will NOT get like that. That is strong incentive......but I will miss my friend (wine)....

[Sharky]

Newbie in Stage 1

Ouch. I'm sure felt aweful about that. Does he want to stop drinking as well? Perhaps you could secretly team up and support each other? I know, I wish I had a work friend to partner with me especially at client dinners (I do alot of that as well).
Keep up the good work on Day 5! That is awesome!

[Lavande]

Newbie in Stage 1

Hi Jennie,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place!
Congrats on your 5 AF days, that's a great start

If you haven't already, download the MWO book from the Health store here. It has lots of good info for you. Also take a look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for good ideas to help you make your plan.
Please drop in the Newbies Nest thread & say hello too

I'm sure that episode with your boss was frightening. I would definitely use that as a lesson & incentive. No one wants to put themselves in that kind of situation but drinking will certainly do that to us.

Wishing you the best on your journey!

Lav

[autumn]

Newbie in Stage 1

Hi Jenniech,

Good to hear from you, I hope you find MWO as much help as I have. So sorry to hear about your boss, I hope he gets the help and support he needs to get well.

I love your Cancer comparrison, it really made me stop in my tracks and think. It is so easy to be a functioning heavy drinker and then to wake up and realise it has gotten a grip on you!

I really tried and failed last year to go AF as I saw wine as friend and was greiving for its loss, like a very bad love affair, I just had to go back and get hurt one more time. I have now learnt Al is not my friend, as a true friend would not make me feels so bad, encourage me to lie and let me hurt so much!!

Good luck on your amazing journey. Please keep us posted.