If you are new here or been here and are struggling - this post is one of the best posts I have read in a really long time. Please read it - please gain strength from it - Please ask for help. Alcohol does not have to control you and ruin your life - There is a way out. Below was written by a member known as 'Neva Eva" and I am proud of her!
I reached indifference last Friday. (edit: Almost 4 months to the day after I started this bac journey. 11 months after I found OA's book. Less than a year, not bad in the scheme of things!)
I got home from work, was on the phone, did the usual. It was a couple of hours later that I realized I hadn't thought about having a cold beer. There were plenty in the fridge. And it was a REALLY lousy week. Still, it never crossed my mind.
Got a call from a MWO friend at 900pm just as I was about to run the vacuum cleaner. Spent an hour on the phone, then another hour on the phone with a local friend. Didn't want a drink.
It's been years since I've been able to talk on the phone after 8pm.
On Thursday night, after reading Reggie's post-switch post, and watching the video Otter reposted, I decided to go AF. I thought it would be a struggle the way it was the last time. Ha! Not even close. I simply forgot about booze.
Saturday was a little different. I definitely craved AL around the witching hour, but as it turns out, I was probably 80mg short of the goal of 320mg/day. (I'll never be sure.) But I'd put the beer in the house in the trunk of my car which is about 30feet away, and I couldn't be bothered to go get it.
Sunday I was bac on track, with a healthy 280mg in my system and feeling much better by the end of the day. Very little urge to drink, though husband was throwing back some very good beer and wine in order to celebrate the superbowl. My friend came over and we chatted for a while. He went home. I went to bed.
Monday (yesterday) 300mg ingested, it was simple again.
Four nights sober, and over a weekend! Four mornings without the slightest hint of a hangover or remorse for ingesting even one drop of AL. It's pretty unreal, people. But it's true, and achievable.
The week previous to the switch I drank maybe a dozen beers. Maybe. Over the course of a week! And still felt badly about it, worried that I would never hit the switch, find indifference, not care anymore. But here it is!
I'm looking forward to calling the Good Doctor (the only one I know, ftr, who has earned that title). I hope that he'll prescribe some xanax, even though I'm still nervous about taking ANYTHING other than baclofen. Much less something addictive. Still, I need more sleep and I trust him more than anyone other than a couple of people around here.
For all the angst I share on here, my 'real' life does not reflect that. I've been incredibly productive. Cleaning up literally and figuratively. Financial stuff that has weighed heavily on me for months and months. Taken care of in an afternoon. I'm looking for laundry to do at this point. I figure that the next time my home is messy and someone pops by I won't be ashamed of it. It'll be messy because I just didn't have the time/inclination to do anything about it. Not because I'm a hopeless drunk. And people can stop by now! Not that I'm the best conversationalist. Still pretty bac'd out and I'm having trouble following my own train of thought to fruition, as it were.
Even bac'd out I'm a better friend/person/etc... than I was even a month ago.
I'm worried about weighing in on other threads, atm. So I'll stick to this one.
I reached indifference last Friday. (edit: Almost 4 months to the day after I started this bac journey. 11 months after I found OA's book. Less than a year, not bad in the scheme of things!)
I got home from work, was on the phone, did the usual. It was a couple of hours later that I realized I hadn't thought about having a cold beer. There were plenty in the fridge. And it was a REALLY lousy week. Still, it never crossed my mind.
Got a call from a MWO friend at 900pm just as I was about to run the vacuum cleaner. Spent an hour on the phone, then another hour on the phone with a local friend. Didn't want a drink.
It's been years since I've been able to talk on the phone after 8pm.
On Thursday night, after reading Reggie's post-switch post, and watching the video Otter reposted, I decided to go AF. I thought it would be a struggle the way it was the last time. Ha! Not even close. I simply forgot about booze.
Saturday was a little different. I definitely craved AL around the witching hour, but as it turns out, I was probably 80mg short of the goal of 320mg/day. (I'll never be sure.) But I'd put the beer in the house in the trunk of my car which is about 30feet away, and I couldn't be bothered to go get it.
Sunday I was bac on track, with a healthy 280mg in my system and feeling much better by the end of the day. Very little urge to drink, though husband was throwing back some very good beer and wine in order to celebrate the superbowl. My friend came over and we chatted for a while. He went home. I went to bed.
Monday (yesterday) 300mg ingested, it was simple again.
Four nights sober, and over a weekend! Four mornings without the slightest hint of a hangover or remorse for ingesting even one drop of AL. It's pretty unreal, people. But it's true, and achievable.
The week previous to the switch I drank maybe a dozen beers. Maybe. Over the course of a week! And still felt badly about it, worried that I would never hit the switch, find indifference, not care anymore. But here it is!
I'm looking forward to calling the Good Doctor (the only one I know, ftr, who has earned that title). I hope that he'll prescribe some xanax, even though I'm still nervous about taking ANYTHING other than baclofen. Much less something addictive. Still, I need more sleep and I trust him more than anyone other than a couple of people around here.
For all the angst I share on here, my 'real' life does not reflect that. I've been incredibly productive. Cleaning up literally and figuratively. Financial stuff that has weighed heavily on me for months and months. Taken care of in an afternoon. I'm looking for laundry to do at this point. I figure that the next time my home is messy and someone pops by I won't be ashamed of it. It'll be messy because I just didn't have the time/inclination to do anything about it. Not because I'm a hopeless drunk. And people can stop by now! Not that I'm the best conversationalist. Still pretty bac'd out and I'm having trouble following my own train of thought to fruition, as it were.
Even bac'd out I'm a better friend/person/etc... than I was even a month ago.
I'm worried about weighing in on other threads, atm. So I'll stick to this one.
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