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    My doctor says...

    I am pretty good at monitoring my thoughts, but I need to work on the behavioural side of things. He set an aim for me this week to do two social things that did not involve drinking. He explained to me that heavy drinkers tend not to notice all the options that are available in terms of socialising and that there are indeed people who socialise without drinking too much or at all. Its quite a sensible approach compared to the way I normally do things; I normally announce that I'm never drinking again and thats that, but of course that never works out.

    I actually did two social things today without drinking. I first had lunch with my friends in a bar. It was fine, talked amongst ourselves- one of my friends had 1 drink, the other drank water, as did I. In the second case this evening I met a different group of friends and we talked and listened to music for a while. It was fun because all of this group of friends are quite funny (in a jokey kind of way). I didn't drink, nor did two others- three others drank moderately enough. It sounds absurd to say, but I just never noticed tha they didn't drink as much as me. This time last week it would have been two bottles of wine for a start plus beers. I realise now I was kind of using these people as an excuse to drink- its nice to reframe that.

    Another issue that came up during the session with my Doc was that I am due to go home this weekend to my hometown. I said that unless for example I take Disulfiram I am guarenteed to drink. His reply really surprised me; he said that for a holiday for one day that it is not the end of the world if I drink. In a way that can happen within its own bubble. The priority instead is to sort out my mainstream life and the lower frequency stuff will sort itself out. I thought it was very sensible and refreshing because I am too inclined to black/white thinking and it simply doesn't work. Its not that it couldn't, it simply doesn't.

    Feeling very positive.

    EOTL
    The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.

    #2
    My doctor says...

    Hi endoftheline, your doc sounds like he knows what he is doing that is really good advice and obviously has worked for you :goodjob: I know what you mean about using friends as an excuse to drink too much, I can think of numerous occasions I have done that exact thing, I too find it difficult to see how others can enjoy socialising without alcohol but I am striving to find out, I must admit since I had my son I have been meeting up with new friends in the daytime and enjoying spending time with them and their kids and really enjoying the time so I guess I have started out on the path.

    Best of luck and I wish you every AF success
    Taking it ODAT

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      #3
      My doctor says...

      Thanks mauritiusdodo. I think I said to you before but since you are in N.England, if you ever run out of options, def get referred to an addiciton consultant, they're really good! (NHS)
      The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.

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        #4
        My doctor says...

        EOL - this was a really helpful post. Thanks!

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          #5
          My doctor says...

          Great post. Got me thinking!
          February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

          When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

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            #6
            My doctor says...

            Good for you End of the line
            I've had a similar week where I've been out to dinner with friends, been to a works dinner and danced all AF - and it was still fun.
            Your doctor talks sense. If you do drink it can exist in a bubble if you intend to carry on seeking control. But as an added challenge why not try to do one social event AF in your hometown too.

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              #7
              My doctor says...

              :welcome:Skyline - you might want to post under Just Starting Out where more people can find you (Front Page).

              Also, here is a link to the Toolbox which has some really helpful information:
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

              KG

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