Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

[AMELIA]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

Hi Owly, Just read through the thread! Well done for staying in if thats what your'e referring to! Keep us posted on how your'e getting on. Hello to Nick and Caju too!
:welcome: to all three of you
Amelia

[NickC]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

Thanks Amelia. Well done you Owly!

Anyone got any tips now the Christmas party season is upon us? I'm a recent admitter (if that's a word!), 10days AF with a month being the initial plan. At my last count I think I'v got 6 work/client events and a couple of friendsy type things happening before even the hols start. I survived a recent drinks event after a seminar but that was a tiny test compared to the huge p*ss ups looming before me! And everyone will be glugging for England. Guaranteed! Unfortunately unless I fake sickies I can't really get out of them. I'v had a couple of tips (antibiotics, driving etc from Chat) to counteract the peer pressure, but I'm sure some old hands have some great tricks up their sleeves. As Owly's mentioned, the UK is a huge drink culture and London is probably the worst place (with the possible exception of anywhere in Ireland!) as we all get or fall on trains or tubes to go home - so driving is not a deterent.

Shame - I used to really enjoy the trashings at Christmas - have to remain nostagic memories I suppose! Any thoughts welcome or tried and tested practices.

NICK

[Owly]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

Hey Nick,

Can't help you there, I've never been invited to a christmas party! (self employed) But am very impressed with the ten days AF.

Right now I'm in the danger zone. I think there are people who would say because I don't drink or have desire for drink all the time that I'm not a 'proper' alcoholic, but I got absolutely wankered last night and just got up and the craving now is indescribable. And of course I'm saying, just one or two then come home, but that is always how my multi-dayers start. I'm in the zone, this is the time... just making myself some hot chocolate but I really am not sure I will be able to hold out.

[ima]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

Owly wrote: Hey Nick,

Can't help you there, I've never been invited to a christmas party! (self employed) But am very impressed with the ten days AF.

Right now I'm in the danger zone. I think there are people who would say because I don't drink or have desire for drink all the time that I'm not a 'proper' alcoholic, but I got absolutely wankered last night and just got up and the craving now is indescribable. And of course I'm saying, just one or two then come home, but that is always how my multi-dayers start. I'm in the zone, this is the time... just making myself some hot chocolate but I really am not sure I will be able to hold out.

I havent had a drink in over 3 1/2 yrs

Nor do I have ANY desires to drink

It has been removed

Ima still an alcoholic and ALWAYS will be.

If you take a cucumber and turn it into a pickle can you turn it back into a cucumber?

I will keep ya in my Prayers and hope you find a solution as i have

Whatever it may be

[Owly]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

What if I were to go out and promise to only have three then come back in say, three hours, and if I fail then I have to make a ?100 donation to the charity of the next posters choice?

[fsophiah]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

Owly, I've been reading your posts, and I think you need to read RJ's book. That feeling of worrying whether there's going to be enough alcohol around is one we are familiar with. I think the meds, the supps, the whole shebang would work for you, since it would put your head into something other than keeping the party going. Another fear, I think, especially in the pub culture, is social isolation, and that's just plain real. For me, I had to hate myself enough to want to change because I sure did like to go to parties and drink with people.

[Owly]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

It is, doctors have told me this before, that it is a social rather than chemical addiction. Because I spend so much time on my own and all socialisation I've ever had has been with drink it's inseperable when I feel umm lonely or bored.

[fsophiah]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

I really think that's what topamax can do for you. My son, who is close to your age, who has lived in England and who has frequented a "local" in New York where he lived, has the same problem. The pub took care of all his socialization. He has quit drinking, and he's lonely. For me, topamax enabled me to drink without needing to keep going forever, to enjoy the company more than the buzz.

[fsophiah]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

There are a lot of people here from the UK, maybe for that reason--then there's the soccer (football) connection. Maybe you're not into that.

[Owly]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

I've heard a lot of talk of this topomax on here but I've never encountered it before - is it prescription only?

Of course the trouble with my 'benders' is that it starts off as a social thing then becomes chemical/physical addiction after a few days and then I fulfill all the criteria for being an alcoholic - hiding alcohol around the town in case I need it when I'm walking around, having it under my bed etc etc

Fortunately I haven't been that bad for a while.

I'm sure the kudzu worked for a while yet my flatmate remembers with tremendous irony how I came back from the pub one time after getting my first bottle of kudzu and slurring my way through a speech about how fackingg amaazzzing theesee herbs are mannn I hardddly wannted a drinkk at alll !

But this latest batch I've got are frankly useless, hence ordering from here.

Anyway this feeling is stronger than me right now and I'm off out. Sorry

[Owly]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

Yes I love football (not soccer but I know better than to watch and drink since the games start in the afternoon.

[fsophiah]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

Haha. You need to read the book and look at the full program. I think it's tailor made for you.

[AMELIA]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

Hey Nick, I went to a Christmas party yesterday. My excuse was crap and you can't use it either. Good old 'period' drama if you know what I mean. But, believe me as soon as you mention it at a party EVERYONE stops pestering you to drink.
The day before I met with a girlfriend who I really like for Christmas drinks! She is a big drinker and gets a bit funny when I tell her I am cutting down (well I am actually not drinking at all but I decided not to tell her - cause I am a spineless wonder) So the only way I could get around it was tell her the drinks were on me,....she was drinking gin and tonic, so every time I ordered her a G&T, I asked for a soda with ice, lime and a straw for me. She had NO idea I wasn't drinking.
NOT IDEAL I know. But until I sort out my obvious issues with how I present this to people, I will have to play DRINKING DODGE BALL as well as I canuch:
I am going home to New Zealand for Crimbo, that will be an easier escapade - they know that I have pickled myself in the past. NO ONE will be offering me any type of booze!

Owly, sounds like you're still finding your feet and feelings about being social and having your sauce, or just having sauce, or just being social. HMMM its a toughy, just keep on posting and thinking and trying to calm it a little.

Take care everyone

Amelia

[NickC]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

Wow Amelia, you've actually made me feel jealous about not having monthlies - the one clear advantage of the male gender now lost forever! Admire your efforts and you're obviously doing great. I think the buying drinks all night, although Black Adder cunning, is obviously unsustainable - be bankrupt in no time with my crowd. However, I'v given this a lot of thought and think the following ,although a variation on old theme, is fool proof:

If people pressurise me into having a drink I say:

"I'd love too but after a drink 'the voices' try and make me do BAD things!". I then grin manically, drool a bit, and ask if anyone would like to meet my "special friends".

Should do the trick!

All the best in Kiwi Land.

NICK

[zampa75]

Confused by definitions of problem drinkers

ima wrote: I havent had a drink in over 3 1/2 yrs

Nor do I have ANY desires to drink

It has been removed

Ima still an alcoholic and ALWAYS will be.

If you take a cucumber and turn it into a pickle can you turn it back into a cucumber?

I will keep ya in my Prayers and hope you find a solution as i have

Whatever it may be

Hi........your post really struck me cos....if u haven't had a drink in more than 3 years, then, why are you here? I see you just joined the forum too.... I know you say you will always be an alcoholic, but...if you can do it so amazingly well - you say you don't crave ANY kind of drink ever - and please believe me I am not being ironic, then why did you happen to look for a site like this and register after such a long abstinence? You say you will always be an alcoholic, so at first I thought you managed to win the addiction, you still feel like drinking and manage not to........but you say you NEVER want to drink, so, why do you say are you still an acoholic? and above all, what brought you here?