Been struggling with this one for a while now - the alcohol is gradually taking over my life
And until very recently - no-one but me was aware of it.
I always drink in secret - after my wife has gone to bed
1-2 bottles of (usually white wine) a night/ usually at least 4 nights a week
I would call myself a functionning alcoholic . I work at a high level in healthcare - and am ashamed that I daily councel patients with alcohol problems than myself.
I even would moderate my drinking to a very slow glass in front of friends - just to doubly make sure noone would ever suspect i have a problem.
Of course I have been hiding the evidence - unused bottles were kept chilled in garage. Used ones in my car - always to be left at bottle bank next day..... This was important as by getting rid of the evidence it would almost be like convincing myself that it never happened...
But it was happening/ and is happening - night after night
Unfortunately, I will never be the AA meeting type.
I doubt if I will even admit to my wife the extent of my problem - althoughI have great respect for honesty. I am aware of her fears about other family members drinking - and I do not think that she could cope with this sort of news. I am resigned to trying to do this quietly and by myself:thanks:
I was prompted by 2 friends who called unexpectantly at house and found me quite extrodinarly drunk on my own. I could hardly stand - and was meant to be looking after our child on my own that night.
That was only 48 hours ago... I know hardly enough time for that alcohol to leave my system. But this is different - I have never admitted even to myself before the extent of my drinking.
As we would occasionally drink together - I have informed her of my decision to abstain for a few months - to get 'fitter' .
I post here - in the hope that my soberity might continue - and that i might occasionally look to this online community for a little help in those darkest of hours.
Thanks again to all. Malmal :thanks:
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