I'm new -- drugs or no drugs?

[loliprrr]

Hello all,
I lurked around this site a few years ago, and having gotten no better in the wino regard, decided to plunge in now. I'll tell my story in another post, but for now I have ordered the pdf book, which I read right away, all the supplements, and the 4-set of hypno tapes. I could relate so well to Roberta's story and her friend's story too -- their relationship with AL sounded just like mine, minus the kids. So I was excited to see that they both found success pretty much from Day One!

So as psyched as I am to start (am waiting for everything to arrive), I wonder if I should order the topa as well. I have reservations because I really am wary of the side effects -- especially the mental thing, because my mother had Alzheimer's and I'm 50, so of course me and my siblings are always looking for potential signs in ourselves and I don't want to tread there (the language stumbling that Roberta describes in the book). I assume Topa doesn't cause Alzheimer's, but I don't want people suspecting I have it and then I have to explain that it's not Alz, but this drug I'm taking....

Also, I'm doing this completely covertly, not telling my wonderful husband or anybody (except y'all!). And I'd have to order online.

My question is, have people had success doing the program to the letter as outlined in the book but MINUS the topa? Oh, also I'm seeking to be moderate, not AF.

Thanks so much for any thoughts or advice!!

[Lavande]

I'm new -- drugs or no drugs?

Hi loliprrr,

Welcome to MWO! Glad you decided to join in the fun.
I was a wine wine drinker myself but not anymore. I did it without any drugs, lots of us have but it really is a personal decision.
Have you tried to quit with any success in the past? Do you know what your triggers are? I found that with a very firm commitment, a good plan & daily use of the Hypno CDs I was able to make my goal.

I joined hoping to be able to moderate at some point myself. But when I reached my 30 AF days & my head fog cleared I just knew that I couldn't, I had to be honest. For me it's just been easier to remain AF. That is also a decision that everyone needs to make for themselves.

Use the great ideas in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html to help you make your plan. Please feel free to dop in the Newbies Nest for more support.

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[dancingon]

I'm new -- drugs or no drugs?

There are other drugs apart from Topamax (see medication discussions). Personally I didn't take the drugs as I hadn't had a long term drinking problem, thought I could probably do without, and didn't want to confide in my doctor. However, it is recommended, and you may have more success if you use all elements of the programme.

A word of caution, though - everyone is different and not all have had the apparently instant success of Roberta and friend. Often people try to moderate and can't ,so they decide to do a stint of at least 30 days AF first. Some never manage to moderate. In the moderation thread I have been trying to fathom why this might be, but haven't come to any startling conclusions yet, as Roberta had been drinking for 20 years when the programme worked for her.

It may also be dependent on your decision and motivation, and your belief that the programme will work for you. You sound excited about it and you have the gear, so go for it. One of the most useful things about this programme for me is having the forum so that you can talk to people who understand without feeling like you crawled out from under a rock.

I've just done 30 days AF and did a couple of weeks in January with a couple of days drinking (less than usual) in between. I tried a year ago and couldn't get past 8 days and couldn't moderate, but then I couldn't afford the CD's, which I'm finding helpful. As someone else on here said, I feel that I've reached the stage where drinking is not inevitable in any given situation. It's a choice I make. I'm not sure where I want to be with regards to moderation yet, but happy as I am for the moment. I'm getting myself back and loving it, so I don't want to sabotage it.

[allswell]

I'm new -- drugs or no drugs?

I used the supplements and exercised alot but avoided the drugs. The supplements really helped me get a handle on the cravings early on. Good luck to you.

[loliprrr]

I'm new -- drugs or no drugs?

Thanks, everybody, for the responses! I believe this forum will really help me keep on track.

Levande, thanks for the welcome. Nice that you say this is a "fun" place because I have worried that no wine = no fun. I'm here because I have come to the point where I don't want my life to be defined by wine. Right now, if i were to die, my obituary would read: LOLIPRR, WINE DRINKER. It's pathetic -- there's really nothing else that I do but enjoy wine. I'm not in the midst of a wine-induced crisis or low-point. It's just really gotten out of hand. I've been drinking at least a bottle of wine a day most days for years now. And now I'm no longer working a full-time job, so I'm at home all day which gives me even more opportunity to raid the wine fridge. Everything is a trigger: from boredom and anxiety to good news and celebrations. All my good friends drink, though not as thoroughly as I do. I avoid situations and events where there isn't any alcohol because what would be the point? (that's my wine brain talking) I've never tried to quit and just can't imagine living that way. I know I should seek out friends who are AF, but that seems so boring. Is that a wretched way of thinking or not? The fact that there are many interesting people here on the boards gives me hope.

Dancingon: Congrats on your 30 days AF! At this point, I can't fathom going that long. I think the only time in the last 15 years I've been AF is the day before a doctor's appointment when I know they'll do a routine blood test. (amazingly, my blood is always very healthy, even the liver enzyme readings). This sounds so trite, but vanity is my second biggest motivator to cut back -- i have a huge wine gut that needs to go. I guess that was one of the reasons I was considering the topa, due to its alleged appetite-suppressant qualities.

Allswell and Sheri: Thanks for sharing that you made progress without the meds. I think I'll go forward with the supplements and hypno as set out, then reconsider the topa if I'm not seeing any results. I've read about some of the other drugs, and they make me wary as well. Sheri, my ultimate goal is to just not think about alcohol and where/when my next fun wine opportunity will be, and, as Dancingon said, not see drinking as inevitable in any situation, or care if it's there. For example, tomorrow a friend invited me to attend church with her. She likes wine too, so my first thought was, "Great -- i know a wine bar down the street from that church and we can go there after!" Pathetic....

I hope my supplements and hypno cds come soon....

[Lavande]

I'm new -- drugs or no drugs?

Try not to worry about the future, just focus on today, really
The fun times will come as will the pure joy & freedom from being chained to a wine bottle.
I hadn't quite realized how small my world had become. I look back now & think that was pathetic & I will never put myself back in that situation, ever.

Practicing gratitude helped me move on! Look at this, I've been a member for quite a few years:
The ToDo Institute: Mindfulness, Procrastination, and Gratitude using Morita and Naikan Therapies

You have a lot of wonderful things coming your way

[KundaliniGirl]

I'm new -- drugs or no drugs?

Loli - lots of good advice here. Just wanted to welcome you.:welcome::welcome:

AND tell you that I got a good chuckle out of this (not sure you meant it to be funny but I just had to laugh).

For example, tomorrow a friend invited me to attend church with her. She likes wine too, so my first thought was, "Great -- i know a wine bar down the street from that church and we can go there after!" Pathetic....

:H:H

Sending you peace and strength,
KG

[dancingon]

I'm new -- drugs or no drugs?

I had to laugh at that too.
You have plenty of company. It's a common cry when people stop drinking that life will become boring and narrow. After a while you realise that wine made your life narrow and stopped you feeling anything much including boredom. A month ago I wouldn't have thought I could go out to dinner and even dance without alcohol, and enjoy it. And by the way a few months ago, I couldn't fathom going that long AF either
Like Lav says take it one step at a time.
If you're planning to do a stint AF it pays to plan to have some activities, jobs that need doing, exercise or something to fill some of the time that would normally be spent drinking

[loliprrr]

I'm new -- drugs or no drugs?

Thank you so much everybody for the comments and the encouragement....it never occurred to me how narrow a wine-focused life IS but now that you mentioned it, it's all so obvious. I hope I will look forward to widening my world. It's still hard to imagine at this point...

I did join my friend at church yesterday and yes, we did end up at the wine bar after. But only for a couple of glasses and the good news is that I really liked her church a lot and can see that it may afford a number of non-wine-focused opportunities for fellowship, as well as spiritual nourishment (though sometimes I feel that wine unlocks my spiritual side .. sigh). So DancingOn, thanks for the suggestion of seeking out other acitivities to substitute for wine time, I will need to be looking for those.

And Lavande, the ToDo site is very intriguing. I have so much to be grateful for, sometimes I forget.

Well, my supplements and hypno cds arrived today! I'll be starting tomorrow so I guess it's time for me to hop over to the Newbies Nest. I look forward to seeing everybody around the forum