good news and bad news

[magdalana]

The bad news:
Well, yesterday I went to a dinner party with the fulll confidence that I could moderate,
however I quickly realized that I could not. Very embarassing!! I am now going to try the 30 days AF.
Good news:
My husband who has no problems with alcohol has agreed to do it with me so that there will be less temptation. So March here I come!!!

Always the optimist,
Magdalana

[Doggygirl]

good news and bad news

Congrats on your discovery. Figuring out and accepting our capabilities (or lack of) when it comes to controlling alcohol intake is an important part of this process.

Fabulous that your "normie" husband is going to support you in a 30 day AF mission by doing it with you. I too am blessed with a normal drinker for a husband and he never drinks around me which is support I appreciate! That support is something good for your gratitude list if you keep such a thing.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

[Softy]

good news and bad news

Good luck

I have hit the 30 day mark today and honestly when you hit 7 days and go through each weekday breaking the routine it seems to get easier. Then every day more AF feels like a victory and you get on such a roll that you gain power from not drinking. I hope you can stick with the motivation. We are all here to help you. When you hit the low moments (and you will) log on here and share the pain as the crew here will get you through it. Good luck again.::h

[prancy]

good news and bad news

How wonderful of your husband to support you I. This. Having your husband right there tends to make one more accountable
It is always sort of amazing to me how someone without "the problem" can just go 30 days AF to support you, when it is such torture for us.....making a plan, counting days, worrying about what we are going to say to other people, worrying what they will think. And they just do it. I think part of it is their focus is not on FOREVER, which we obsess over. I guess I should be saying I, not we, because I am speak g for myself..... Hmmm maybe that is where one day at a time comes from.....

[Softy]

good news and bad news

Getting the spouse on board

This was my big breakthrough. Mrs Softy hasnt completely abstained but she did for the first two weeks which was the most important time. Then after a fortnight I encouraged her to have a drink whilst I didn't as this made me feel more in control and also less guilty that my problem was impacting on someone else. Coming clean ( no pun intended) with the wife my sister and GP has turned out to be an important decision. Your husband is a special bloke to offer such support. That will spur you on and give you an extra push. Big kudos to you both.

[Doggygirl]

good news and bad news

prancy;1067117 wrote: I think part of it is their focus is not on FOREVER, which we obsess over. I guess I should be saying I, not we, because I am speak g for myself..... Hmmm maybe that is where one day at a time comes from.....
My husband and I have discussed this very thing. For him, the reason it is no big deal has nothing to do with the time line. 30 days, forever, doesn't matter. Alcohol is not important to him. It would be like asking me to do without liver and onions. And I LIKE liver and onions. But I can easily forgo it for 30 days, and if I had to give up liver and onions forever, so be it. Not a problem. Non-alcoholics (who are also non-problem drinkers) simply do not value AL the same way we do. The very THOUGHT of AL does not light up Mr. Doggy's brain like it does mine. Now Pizza????? Well, that's another matter entirely. :H

Softy;1067121 wrote: Then after a fortnight I encouraged her to have a drink whilst I didn't as this made me feel more in control and also less guilty that my problem was impacting on someone else. Coming clean ( no pun intended) with the wife my sister and GP has turned out to be an important decision.

In the case of Mr. Doggy, I have learned I don't need to feel guilty at all that he doesn't drink around me. AL doesn't matter to him. It's just not high value at all. MY DRINKING is what was negatively impacting his life. Living with a constantly drunk or hungover moody griping shrew was definitely something that affected him.

ITA that with due consideration for consequences, coming clean with people is very healing - at least it was for me. I led such a double life trying to act normal on the outside and dying on the inside. Honesty has been such a good tonic (within reason - everyone does not need to know my deepest secrets). Honesty with my husband has been especially good. That is one person that trying to have secrets with - well - that just didn't work very well for us.

Anyway...good stuff here in this thread!

DG

[lil.michelle]

good news and bad news

Awww shame about the dinner party but i hope you had fun.
YAY to starting today for 30 days and it's great your husband is sooo supportive. Best thing i did and still do is whenever i crave i tell him right away. I guess it meant that i couldn't drink as he would be expecting it or looking for the smallest sign going (i don't know) it worked anyway I blieve that it is because i let him in and was honest that i stayed sober. Be honest with him, stay busy and good luck xx