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[JimG]

Hello everyone.

I'm off to AA tonight to hopefully start sobriety again. I had 2 months AF last year with AA's help. They are confusing and I didn't understand a lot of the structure but hey, it worked for me. Also on meds to help me too.

I'm so sick (literally) of going on benders and waking at 2 in the morning feeling sick, anxious, guilty, self loathing only to stay awake til it's time to go to work and then be unproductive. The excess alcohol also has a terrible effect on my diagnosed anxiety disorder.

So why do I keep doing it? Block out the stresses of life? Numb the mind?

Wish me luck please people. I'll check in to let you know how I'm going. I feel like a failure for failing time and again. All I can do is perservere.

All the best to everyone with their efforts to stay AF.

[Change]

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Hi Jim,

Let's do it together. No more alcohol from 1st March 2011. What do you think?

[JimG]

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You got a deal! Always helps to do these things with someone.

My danger will be when this hangover / nausea and cr@p feeling disappears and I feel good again....that's when I think all's good, there's no problem and I can deal with it................til I wake again at 2am with all of the resultant misery. I MUST remember those feelings and how bad it makes me feel - esp the mounting depressive feelings.......why drink a depressive when I have existing mental issues??

Thanks Change - appreciate it.

[Ravenscallingme]

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I think it takes time- time sober at that, lol- to really understand why one drinks. We do it to numb out feelings, right? To make them go away... so you have to sort of stay sober to really KNOW, I think, why you drink in the first place.

I hear ya, though. I've been there- tired of waking up sick and physically run down, tired of being addicted. It really wears you out. I've been there with the cycle of 'I can handle this!'/'oh shit, no I can't!' too.. it's also tiring. I guess that's what they mean in AA about surrender? That you just accept that you can't handle all that stuff and let it go.

Try to go easy on yourself, anyway. And good luck with sobriety.

[hillsidetime]

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Jim G, the good news is that is seems that you really want to fight this battle - you can do it.

What are your goals? Abstinance, moderation? You might consider a short term goal of 30 days sober, regardless of your long term goals. This 30 day period can give you a chance to clear your head, and really examine the strangle hold alcohol may very well have on you. It is not easy, but it can be done, just like you did last year.

Hang in there,
Hill

[Change]

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Hey Jim,

I live in Melbourne too. Maybe we can be a support for each other? PM me if you'd like to exchange details.

I know what you mean, i felt soooo bad today. We've gone through 30 and 60 (you) days AF, we can do it again, but this time, for good.

How did you go today Jim?

[lil.michelle]

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Hey!!
It's like a vicious circle isn't it.. we drink to block out the stress, worry, depression and anxiety which makes it better for say a few hours till the AL wears off then BANG, it's even worse then before. It's a horrible situation to be in but trust me, if you stop the al everything else WILL get 1000 times better. I'm living proof of it! I suffered from the worst depression ever for YEARS.. stopped drinking (took 4 years) BUT i stopped drinking and my depression is pretty much gone, my anxiety is completely gone and im no longer needing meds!!
Go for it!

[KundaliniGirl]

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Hi Jim, sending you peace and strength. Alcohol is a terrible anxiety-producer and sleep deprivator for me too.

Best of luck, and let us know how it's going.

Hugs,
KG

[mylife]

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Hello Jim! You can do it.

AA is a great group of supportive people, I'm sure they can help you through it as well.

Good luck with your journey!

[JimG]

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Hi everyone,

Well I didn't make it to AA but I didn't drink either.

Although sleep was fitful and I feel soooo sleep deprived, I don't feel as bad as I would had I been drinking.

Today I intend not to drink and that is my short term goal. Once I achieve that I'll set another goal.

Change, I'll flick you a PM

[damo180]

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Best of luck Jim.
I have found logging on here as much as possible a huge help and support in staying AF.
Really hope you give it your all and stay off the booze.

All the best
Damo

[Change]

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Well, just to check in: am going to spend night AF. Have chocolate in hand, mineral water in fridge and am intending on heading down to the video shop for an upgrade. Yay!

[JimG]

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Yep, AF for me too. Had cravings before but was frustrated with a bad day at work and hungry. So I had chocolate milk and that removed the need for beer. Now I've had teaand I'mfine. Boy, really gotta watch those triggers!! Hope tomorrow's a better day at work.You're going well, Change. Enjoy that chocolate

[Stargazerlily]

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JimG,
Great job, I have to watch out for HALT, feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Coming home from work is my witching hour, so if I crave booze, I eat something. Chocolate milk sounds great and does not go well with beer.

You can do this and will be amazed at the decrease in anxiety you will feel. Sending you hope and strength.

[bugalugs]

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Jim,
Gotta watch that afterwork beer craving monster :alf:
I found it very usefull stock my fridge full of 600ml bottled water.

Stay focused on your goal and be strong!