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[hillsidetime]

On the weekend, while driving to my son's hockey game, my wife in a loving way, asked if "I would ever be able to drink socially again"..."a few glasses of wine with supper, or a cold beer when company comes over".

I thought for a moment, and than I still can't believe it, I was actually able to express myself, exaclty how I feel.

I responded that "I chose to not drink socially", "I chose to not have alcohol in my life", "social drinking, or drinking period, is not something I want in my life anymore", "that part of my life is over".

It felt so good to be able to express myself, to communicate with my wife my feelings, and to be certain about what I said.

Without a doubt, it is from reading and posting here, that I have learned how to communicate about my relationship with alcohol. I feel there is tremendous value in this. Thanks to MWO, and all of you for your help in my continuing journey.
Hill

[lil.michelle]

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That's great news! I totally agree. I'm longer afraid of being judged about how i feel about AL. I have a great reason why i don't want to drink and i don't mind telling it to the world
*Big hugs*

[KundaliniGirl]

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Hill - good for you for not being tempted. You've definitely reached the other side.

Congrats!!

KG

[mylife]

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Hill, what a great post! So nice to hear.

I was away with my husband this weekend and he had a few drinks a couple of nights and asked me the same question. (I drank Club Soda or a virgin drink if we went out).

I told him really not to worry about it for me, it's just my choice not to drink at this point in my life and I don't feel that I'm missing anything by not drinking. It felt really great to say that and really mean it!

Thanks for the Post, and you are so right. This site has helped a lot of us in so many ways!

[Road to Recovery]

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mylife;1068075 wrote: Hill, what a great post! So nice to hear.

I was away with my husband this weekend and he had a few drinks a couple of nights and asked me the same question. (I drank Club Soda or a virgin drink if we went out).

I told him really not to worry about it for me, it's just my choice not to drink at this point in my life and I don't feel that I'm missing anything by not drinking. It felt really great to say that and really mean it!

Thanks for the Post, and you are so right. This site has helped a lot of us in so many ways!

Hill,
I could have wrote your post word for word. My wife however would never ask me if I thought I could - she has seen for herself enough to know I could not.
If I could give one piece of advice to Newbies that come here it would be - Dont think about never drinking again - that is way to scary and seemingly impossible in the beginning! (IMO). I truly feel that it takes some AF time to think clearly about what your real relationship with AL is. As Hill said - That part of my life is over!

[not tonight]

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Hillsidetime,

Thank you for your inspiring post. To be able to say to another, that you have chosen not to have alcohol in your life is an empowering statement. Congratulations! Do you mind if I ask, does you wife support your decision? The reason for this question is that I do not think my husband totally supports me never drinking socially again. In the past, when I have abstained for a long period of time, although he did appreciate the sacrifice and the benefits that came with me not drinking, I do not think he understands drinking moderately is no longer an option for me, and hopes that I will return to drinking socially. I find this extremely difficult after a few months without AL, when I begin to entertain the idea of having the one glass of wine with diner, etc.

[Chillgirl]

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Love your post Hillside!
It's one thing thinking the thoughts that go round in our heads but when we actually verbalize them and realize the answer was instinctive and came from the heart, this is a wonderful moment! For me going AF has been filled with many defining moments such as these and I believe each one strengthens my will.

[tlrgs]

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isnt it a great feeing hill keep it going buddy nicely done

[Wagoneer]

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Awesome post Hill, thanks. X X O O

[Softy]

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Great post

I have had the same strength giving experience. Being able to regularly visit the pub or go out for a meal and choose not to drink is liberating. I went to my favourite Indian restaurant last week and drank diet coke. After the meal the waiter offered me a free Bailey's with ice as he usually does because we are regular customers. I heard myself saying the unthinkable " thanks but no thanks I don't drink alcohol at present I have decided to give it up for a while" god it felt good saying that. In response to my wife I say frequently that I may choose to drink again in future but only when I am sure I can moderate. At the moment I think this is unlikely to ever be the case but if I shut the door for ever on booze I will feel trapped and expect that would lead to craving. By saying I will drink in future but choose not to now it puts me in control.

[RedJib]

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Interesting post, Hillside. I've been wondering if that same conversation will come up at our house. So far, there's been hardly any interest or inquiry from family and friends about me not drinking. It seems like everybody (except me) thinks it's 'no big deal.' I haven't made any fuss about it, haven't drawn much attention to it...hmmm, maybe the reason that nobody's especially interested is that I didn't really draw much attention to my drinking when it was going on, either.... Quiet, pleasant, and seemingly functional alot of the time, I was still intoxicated--much more than people realized.

Doesn't matter what they think, though. I know it was a serious problem, one I've become determined to eliminate from my life.

[vintage girl]

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Everything you post always rings so true Hill. I am not at the stage you are at, not by a long way and I haven't even confided to my husband how worried and trapped AL was making me feel.

Thanks to you and others like you on this site, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and I hope one day I can say to my husband what you said to your wife.

Thank you again, you give me so much hope.

[damo180]

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Fair play Hillside,love your post.

Had a similar conversation with my wife last weekend. I told her and everyone else I was giving up "just for january".
I then told her recently that I want to quit. She knows I have issues with Al.
I have been and am scared that I will end up my father, who is a chronic alcoholic and refuses to get help. I have also many relations on my mothers side who have alcohol problems.
I was heading that way, even if I did function well enough (sometimes).
My wife asked me how I was doing not drinking. I was delighted to talk about it, that I am really enjoying the benefits of my new sober life. Although I do still get cravings, they are not too bad anymore. She said she thought I was great for quitting before it got really out of hand and that I seemed much happier.
We are off to London tomorrow for a few days to celebrate her 40th birthday . I was trying to put off this trip as I didnt think I could cope with a holiday without beer.
But I am really looking forwad to it now. It will be very different to previous breaks which were usually spent drinking day and night. I have a plan, early starts to each morning with a run, and I beleive there is plenty to do and see in London. Although I am looking forward to it,I am still a little nervous .
I know there will be temptation. BUT I AM NOT GOING TO DRINK !!!!
I SO dont want to go back to day 1.
(sorry, I am rambling :-)) )

Anyway,thanks Hillside and all on here.

Goodnight and I will let you know how my weekend goes without drinking.

Damo in Dublin(london tomorrow)
x

[dancingon]

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Awesome :goodjob:

[Mazzie]

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Lots of positives on here. Thanks everyone.