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    #1

    I need to do this...

    Hi Everyone,

    I'm a lurker from WAY back! I've known that I have a very serious problem for many years but always thought I'd figure something out. Suffice it to say I haven't figured anything out, in fact, I've been so frightened to learn what I've done to myself that I mask the fear with more beer. I haven't even been to the doctor for years because "I don't wanna know". Not the best plan....

    So, here I am asking for help. I don't even know where to start...drinking for me is not about getting drunk, it's about not feeling. I've got lots of emotional stuff I'd rather not deal with so sometimes I think the "feeling" will be harder than not drinking.

    Last bit of info - I'm 46 and started drinking when I was 16. I drink everyday and I drink a ton.

    Could go one forever but that's enough for today.
    Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~M. Kathleen Casey
    Tags: None
    #2
    I need to do this...

    Welcome WG,
    you have come to a great place for support & understanding. I think that 99% of us drink to not feel, to not have to deal with stuff, but it doesnt go away.
    there is a great section calledthe Toolbox under the monthly abs thread, i'm not sure how to post a link to it.
    have you tried stopping before? maybe try just for today/tonight to drink more water than AL, get a plan in place. read & post.
    good luck
    XX
    *Witchy*
    Progress, not perfection!!!
    A craving wont kill me, but drinking could!!!

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      #3
      I need to do this...

      Been there done that

      Working Girl, In and same boat, realized I can't do this anymore. Tired of feeling like crap and making excuses. So just not going to do it anymore!

      Comment

        #4
        I need to do this...

        I totally understand. I appreciate your thoughts. Let's talk.

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          #5
          I need to do this...

          :welcome: I know how you feel i've been there so many times and i'm tired of quiting only to start again. I'm on day 12 now and taking it odat and keeping as busy as i can. Good luck

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            #6
            I need to do this...

            Oh my! Thanks for the rapid response and support!

            Witchy, I haven't tried (as in heart and soul) quitting before...this time I have to. Firefox, wow, 12 days, is that possible? CS, you mean you'd talk to me on the phone? AZ, kind of happy that we all can be in the same boat. My "alone" is quite miserable.

            Wow, I just sighed...I'm pretty sure that was a feeling of relief.
            Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~M. Kathleen Casey

            Comment

              #7
              I need to do this...

              Working girl welcome to mwo, read read & read as many posts as you can,you are not alone in this fight,post your thoughts and feelings daily, hope to see you around.


              :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

              Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
              I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

              This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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                #8
                I need to do this...

                Hi working girl,

                I drank purely to get drunk otherwise I didnt see the point in drinking at all. It use to be a bottle of wine a day and more at weekends. I couldnt imagine a day without drinking but I also hated it. I would wake up determined not to drink, then by 5pm I was gasping!

                For the past few months I drink every few weeks or so and I am able to to limit myself to a few glasses of wine on each occassion. I have lost the compulsion to get drunk so I am happy with my progress so far.

                Try and take it one day at a time. Try one day of abstinence. Good luck. x
                Be strong-
                We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
                Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

                Comment

                  #9
                  I need to do this...

                  Hi Working girl, and welcome back.

                  From what you have written it does sound like you need to stop drinking. You mention that you have a need to not feel. It is great that you understand one of your main reasons for drinking. Along with the physiological battle, you will have to fight this one too - you can do it!

                  If you don't already, make sure you have lots of healthy food on hand. Stay hydrated with water or diluted juice, and try to slip in a little exercise. Fish oil supplements, perhaps a multivitamin. These steps can help your body, and your mind.

                  I have found that not drinking, has not created more time for me to feel the bad things - that always is there, it has allowed my brain to think, and myself to feel the good things more. I hope this works for you too.

                  One day at a time, start adding those sober days together,
                  Hill
                  Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I need to do this...

                    WG, welcome. Just wanted to post a link to the Toolbox, which is filled with helpful information.

                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

                    Good luck,
                    KG

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                      #11
                      I need to do this...

                      Just wanted to say welcome:welcome: and you're definately not alone here. You've done the worst bit, recognising the problem. Life can only get better All the best with your journey xx

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                        #12
                        I need to do this...

                        Just wanted to say Hi and that we all know and understand exactly what you are going through and feeling right now, like noodle said recognising you have a problem and you need to stop is the hardest part, stay close and read all you can and find a distraction, it does get easier:l
                        WHAT CAN I SAY? I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE..


                        Just taking it day by day.......

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