Can I do this?

[Ozigal]

Hi, I have just joined after having lurked for quite a while. It is obvious this is a very supportive and caring community. I have been so scared to join, but here I finally am! Well, I am a single Mum and have always been a bit of a drinker (understatement there). I used to only drink at weekends, but the last 3 or 4 years it has developed into daily drinking and slowly but surely has crept right up. I am currently drinking on average about a litre of wine a night. Sometimes I have a little more and sometimes a little less. Well, last night was about 1300 mls (I have been measuring and counting drinks for ages). I only drink in the evenings, usually starting around 5 or 6pm. Every day I wake up feeling and looking like crap, not hungover but just disgusted in myself. Every day I say that's it, no more but come 5pm I cannot help myself. I just want to get out of this cycle. Ideally I would like to just have a few drinks on the weekend, but not sure if that would work. My eyes are constantly bloodshot, my palms are red (signs of liver damage?) and I just feel so guilty and ashamed that I cannot stop this cycle. I am looking for some support and advice on how to beat this alcohol problem. I wonder too, at the level I am drinking, what sort of withdrawal I might go through? I don't really want to go to a Doc as I would really like to do this without anyone knowing.
Sorry for rambling and thanks for listening.
Ozi

[wine is not divine]

Can I do this?

:welcome: Hi Ozigal, welcome to the forum, I am fairly new here too. I am on my 13th AF day and feeling good. Tonight has been very difficult - not sure why - up to now I have coped quite well. Like you, my pattern of drinking was just like what you describe, maybe not quite as much quantity wise but almost (say almost a 3/4 a bottle a night or a couple of gin and tonics and 3/4 bottle wine on a bad night. I found as I got older (now 48) I cannot physically drink more than that on a regular basis and also I got to know my "limit" as in the amount I could imbibe without feeling totally hungover the next day and tried to stick with that. But that was still too much and made me feel like c..p and I knew it wasn't doing me any good and I always hated myself and although functioned each day, went to work, etc I was miserable.

Sorry for rambling, its just coming out .. anyhow you have come to a brilliant place, even if you just read / lurk around it is truly a very inspiring place with lots of friendly people here to help who understand and have been through what you are experiencing. So Welcome and hope you stick around.

[jane jane]

Can I do this?

Hello Ozi and WnD,

Ozi, you're at the right place. Welcome!

WnD, I'm about your age, and tomorrow will be my Day 13, too! Feels so wonderful---as if I've been given a "get out of jail free" card. Because addiction to alcohol really is a prison, in so many ways.

I've stopped before, for up to seven weeks, then tried to moderate---nope, not possible. I fantasize about being a normal drinker---1-2 on the weekends, maybe, like others I see? Can't do it.

The support and camaraderie here is very rewarding---and MWO can be a great tool, used properly!

Best,

[Ozigal]

Can I do this?

Thanks WnD and Jane Jane. Wow, well done to both of you on 13 days. How do you get through the first couple of days?

[Jolie]

Can I do this?

Ozi :welcome:

I think I have found my twin! I am also 48 years old and had basically the same drinking pattern as you. 5:00 was that magic drinking hour and I drank every single day for several years. Like you, I normally didn't drink to the point that I couldn't function the next day or had a bad hangover, but always knew I wasn't at my best because of the AL. I was tired of that vicious circle and woke up every morning hating myself for not having more control. Hid it from everyone so no one knew the extent of my problem.

Then I found MWO and my life has changed dramatically. I have accumulated 66 days without drinking and I feel absolutely wonderful! Wonderful as in physically, mentally, spiritually and just all around cheerful these days. Now I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it's been easy because that wouldn't be the truth. The first couple weeks were tough but it really does get easier and easier. I would recommend trying to go 30 days AF and see where your head is. See how you feel without AL in your system and with a clear head.

You will find tons of wonderful advice and some of the most compassionate people you will ever find. No one judges - as we have all been where you are at some point.

So the answer to your question is, YES YOU CAN!

[Ozigal]

Can I do this?

Jolie, I am 43, WnD is 48! Otherwise we could well be twins lol! Well done on 66 days, that is fantastic.

Can I ask how much were you drinking and did you have any withdrawal symptoms? 30 days AF sounds like a great plan for me but for the moment I think I prefer to think of today only. I think I need to take it one day at a time if you know what I mean. How did you go the first few days? What did you do to distract yourself?

[Lavande]

Can I do this?

Hi Ozigal,

Welcome to MWO & glad you found the Nest
Download & read the MWO book if yo haven't already - it will answer a lot of your questions. And be sure to look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for good ideas to help you make your plan. If you don't want to see yor doctor maybe you could help yourself by steadliy decreasing the amount of wine you drink for a few days to avoid withdrawal problems. But if you really anticipate difficulties, go ahead & see your doc & ask for help - it's best to be safe. The Tool Box will give you lots of great ideas to distract yourself. It's not easy but I did it & you can too!

Jane, welcome back! I decided after my first 30 AF days that I wouldn't even try moderating. It never worked in the past for me & I just didn't want to disappoint myself anymore. I'm happy with the decision to remain AF - very happy!

Greetings neighbor Jolie

[jane jane]

Can I do this?

Ozi, it really does get easier. Once you decide that drinking is simply not an option, period, you can do it any way that works for you.

I'll tell you what I've learned (and this is just ME; I'd never presume to speak for anyone else): analyzing, delving deep into the "psychological" reasons for alcohol abuse is a waste of time. I found, in fact, that over-thinking the issue, doing too much "navel-gazing" about it, led to an INCREASED desire to drink---sort of like, "wow, all this concentration on the problem makes me want a nice cool glass (bottle!) of pinot grigio!"

That's why AA wasn't ever going to work for me. I went to one meeting, enjoyed meeting everyone, felt lots of empathy in the room, listened to their horror stories---and walked out desperate for a good strong Bloody Mary!

So, this time, I'm treating it more like a fatal allergy than an addiction. After all, if I were allergic to shellfish or peanuts, would I agonize over how I miss eating them? Nope, I'd just tell myself, "Yes, shrimp tastes wonderful, peanut butter is Heaven on toast, but if I eat any, I'll go into anaphylactic shock,my throat will close up, and I'll die a horrible death!" End of story. No point whining. Just can't have any, period, ever. That's the way I look at my beloved wine: OFF LIMITS.

Some might say, "Well, it's not that simple." But for me, it is. It has to be.

And it can be for you, too. Believe me, if I can stop, ANYONE can. I LOVED my vino! Still do, but...

[piper123]

Can I do this?

JJ, have you put your analogy in the tool box? I found it very interesting and helpful. Hugs, Piper

[coalfire]

Can I do this?

Piper if you found that interesting I recommend that you go down to the long term abstainers section and read a thread called your thoughts on resentment. If you scroll down the replies you will read a post where Doggygirl talks about her peanut eating comedian(and other posts) about this allergy anology.

[wine is not divine]

Can I do this?

Jane Jane & Jolie you both sound just like how I feel and think! I have to be careful not to be doing too much of that "navel gazing" and obsessing ...

Ozigirl - I think for me, how I got over the first couple of days was 1) distraction, distraction, distraction - do things you don't normally do when craving appears, anything ... just do something quickly!!, other than drink obviously .. 2) go to bed very early (I used to take wine to bed on occasion .. so this one is a bit of a paradox .. but taking myself off to bed with lots of reading material, tea, yogurt, biccies ,... you get the picture ... kept me out of the "relaxing wine drinking area" and 3) I can be quite stubborn so I am applying the same stubborn thinking that I applied to myself when I gave up cigarettes many years ago. The way I look at it is, after Day 1, 2, 3 etc etc I think to myself there is NO WAY I am going to ruin all my effort and have to go back do Day 1, 2, 3 etc etc to start all over again from scratch, I am TOO STUBBORN to ruin it all - hope this makes some sense

[mario]

Can I do this?

I have posted this a few times, I thing its brilliant.

There are 2 days in every week about which we should not worry

2 days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.



One of the days is YESTERDAY,with all its mistakes and cares,

its faults and blunders and its aches and pains.



Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control

All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday,

We cannot undo a single act performed,we cannot erase

a single word said.

YESTERDAY IS GONE



The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow.



Tomorrow is beyond our control,it has not arrived.......yet,

Tomorrow,s sun will rise,whether in splendour or behind a

mask of clouds,but it will rise,until it does,we have no stake

in Tomorrow.

THIS LEAVES ONLY ONE DAY



TODAY

Anyone can fight the battles of just one-day, It is when you add the

burdens of those two awful days together

YESTERDAY & TOMORROW

That we break down.

LET US THEREFORE LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME.



hope it helps.

[Wagoneer]

Can I do this?

Hey guys - I am 47 and was a wino. Just like you guys, it was every night and as I got older it started to to get harder to recover. I have been on here on and off over the years, but something just clicked one day. It's been over 4 months and I could not have done it without this place. Every so often I think, hmmm, maybe I can moderate, then reality slaps the crap out of me and I realize that it will just never happen. If I can do it, you guys can. Seriously.

[Ozigal]

Can I do this?

Wow, you guys are amazing, such great advice and all of your stories help so much.

Afraid to say it though, I failed last night! I thought if I just drink one bottle and stop, that would be less than usual and start cutting down from there. But no, I finished the bottle and then had another two glasses after! If I can't even do one day, how the hell am I going to do this?

Anyway, going to try again tonight. Please don't give up on me, reading that you can do it gives me hope.

Thanks heaps guys.

[Ozigal]

Can I do this?

Mario, I meant to say I love what you posted. I will read it when I am tempted, thanks.