Here comes the emotions....

[Shiner]

Well.. I have had a great day and I am back home now... I find myself thinking about a past that I let go which was a good thing but I let go for the wrong reason. I have alot of guilt about it... It was the perfect life. Nice house, friends, everything I thought I could want except it revolved around al.... I left.. My nice home on the water, my friends were not my friends... Well the ones I had there.. It has been almost two years and I still feel sad... Especially right now. I am not sure how to handle these feelings ... I wont drink though. It is just hard and I hope without al, I can learn to let go of those feelings and forgive myself... Thanks for letting me vent.... Shiner

[KundaliniGirl]

Here comes the emotions....

Hi Shiner - just sending you a hug.

KG

[Lavande]

Here comes the emotions....

Shiner,

I have learned that to heal we need to feel all those feelings then let them go. Believe me, I'm going through quite a bit myself right now.
I was introduced to a book called 'Radical forgiveness' by Colin tipping. It is woryh looking into Shiner, it it helping me out a lot :l

[Shiner]

Here comes the emotions....

Thanks... So funny how it feels different when you can feel
it for what it is and the al isnt masking it for something else...
I am in a great place in my life... I just feel like af is going to make
it all so much better and I can start really loving myself.

[KundaliniGirl]

Here comes the emotions....

Good going Shiner - I'm here and sending you my best!!

[Shiner]

Here comes the emotions....

Thank you Kgirl and Lav... Yall are so nice. I'm hittin the hay.
Talk yo ya tomorrow. Day 4 done.
Shiner

[Mema]

Here comes the emotions....

Sending you happy thoughts and a hug Shiner. Congratulations on day 4!

[Gael]

Here comes the emotions....

Let go of the past, live for today, tomorrow ............

Shiner;1075358 wrote: Well.. I have had a great day and I am back home now... I find myself thinking about a past that I let go which was a good thing but I let go for the wrong reason. I have alot of guilt about it... It was the perfect life. Nice house, friends, everything I thought I could want except it revolved around al.... I left.. My nice home on the water, my friends were not my friends... Well the ones I had there.. It has been almost two years and I still feel sad... Especially right now. I am not sure how to handle these feelings ... I wont drink though. It is just hard and I hope without al, I can learn to let go of those feelings and forgive myself... Thanks for letting me vent.... Shiner

Hi Shiner,

This is my first ever post! Your message hit a cord with me which I can relate to. I have been drinking daily almost since my two sons were born - that's nearly 13 years of daily drinking apart from a period of abstinence two years ago. I have started today on a final attempt to moderate my drinking drastically. What holds me back is a fear of the past - of not being able to forgive myself for events now carrying dust. No-one else even knows they exist - but the guilt is so strong it has been stopping me moving forward with my life - hiding behind a curtain called alcohol. I will open these curtains and let the light in from today onwards. The past is the past and only the future is important. Keep strength in what you know and truly believe, alcohol does not make anything better. You are definately going great these last few days Shiner, you know you can do it! Well done and you are definately an inspiration to me today. You probably don't realise it. Gael:thanks:

[coalfire]

Here comes the emotions....

Hi Gael and welcome. I like your name. Do we have another Irish member?

[mario]

Here comes the emotions....

Shiner,
For most people with some sort of alcoholism, their over use of alcohol has arisen from too many unpleasant emotions in their lives.

As such, understandably they yearn for the good feelings usually associated with positive life experiences. These feelings are immediately available through alcohol, so excessive use can take hold. As many an alcoholic has said -

“I just wanted to feel normal…”

The important thing here is that most of the time alcoholics do not feel normal, they feel like something is wrong. Sometimes it’s because a part of their personality is not being expressed fully, they are suppressing a part of themselves which may have been buried for years, for so long they have probably forgotten it was a part of them.

What often happens though is that when drunk, these suppressed or forgotten parts of us come out to play – sometimes this is enjoyable, and sometimes not. But the way people behave when they are intoxicated can be very informative. It can tell us a lot about the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of the addiction.

These two aspects of an addict’s personality – ‘the straight’ and ‘the addictive’ are very often in conflict with each other. They don’t like the other part, they don’t trust them and they fear each other.

To move forward, there has to be a truce. An acceptance and understanding of both parts of the self. You need to recognise what the positive qualities are about both. Then maybe some of the guilt and self-blame can subside.

[KundaliniGirl]

Here comes the emotions....

Welcome Gael!:welcome:

[gyco]

Here comes the emotions....

hi shiner and the rest,it is interesting to hear people new at this,sometimes i think of the show scrooge,hahah ive been doing this for a long time 40 years,ghosts of christmas past hahaha,one day youll look back differently,but youll never laugh at it,knowing the damage it has done,its a long road but it is a great feeling to understand why were the way we are,i wish you well gyco

[geranium]

Here comes the emotions....

That was a fantastic post Mario. It spoke volumes to me. Unfortunately, my "addictive" personality is angry, aggressive and generally agro. I hate it, totally, but am beginning to understand why it is like that. However, facing up to the reasons that are so suppressed is so very hard and so very sad.
Thanks again for this post, it really has given me food for thought
All the best