Think I pushed the limit

[azmarkm]

Wow, yesterday was a bender. Almost 1.75L, feel terrible this am and have to get going to a funeral today. Also today is cancer diagnosis day, have had it three times. I realized something today as well, my anxiety is what makes me drink. I worry all the time. Figuring out I just need to let some things go.

[Bluejay]

Think I pushed the limit

I'm sorry your going through so much azmarkm.

Well wishes to you.

[lil.michelle]

Think I pushed the limit

I think that using al to relief stress, anxiety, depression is something most of us do and have done. Once we've got ourself into the habit of numbing any emotion we feel it can become almost impossible to even imagine not turning to al in times of need. However, al makes all of the above a million times worst. It's a terrible depressant. Al addiction is a circle, a god awful circle.. We drink to numb pain, anger, fear, upset, stress, depression, anxiety, nurves... Then we get confused on what emotion is what and make excuses up to drink.. Busy day at work, hard day a work, boring day at work ect ect and the al just makes it worse.. We go round and round and we all know circles NEVER end UNLESS they ate broken.
You ARE going through a lot right now and I'm sooo sorry to hear this * hugs * but you now need to find away to release all these emotions with out surpressing them cause all that'll happen is they'll cone back when you're sober and bite you even harder in the ass.
First things first, get rid of al from the house.
Second, stay away from all places and company where you buy or drink al.
Third, stay busy!!! Anything to keep your mind occupied! Trust me, you'll need every ounce of will power you have NOT to drink! AL has a great way of putting up a convincing fight!
Also, don't be afraid to let your emotions come out, cry if you want to, sob it out.. Scream if you have too! Never keep them bottled up. In time you'll grow strongervand the days will get a lot easier, days will roll into weeks, weeks into months!
It take a min of 30 days to break a habit.
Try stay strong! I hope your results come back clear! I'm sorry you're having a hard time!! *huge hugs*

[coalfire]

Think I pushed the limit

Hi azmarkham. I hope you got good news today. That is so nerve wrecking that it doent do to think about it. Michelle I love your posts. I have been reading a few of them recently and you are really good at picking alcoholism apart and showing in simple posts how it works in our minds. So many people say that they dont know why they drink.I think that you should make a lot more posts like that.

[ATLThrash]

Think I pushed the limit

Az-- Not sure what type of cancer you had but I have had 2 types-- cervical twice and melanoma. I am over 5 years cancer free from cervical but still in the danger zone on the other. My dad's folks all died from what I would call environmental cancers (they worked in steel mills, coke plants and coal mines)-- all of his bros died of lung cancer without smoking. He escaped that and did not. He has had prostate and thyroid cancer but is going strong at 78. I knwo it is so hard right before going in for the tests and results. I in fact have one tomorrow and I am trying not to go to a dark place. Al will only make you feel more depressed the next day-- I leanred that through lots of testing it! I figure I am going to worry regardless-- you may be like me in that-- I just worry about anything. To try to take my mind off it I am going to go clean out my closet-- see, I am desperate!

[azmarkm]

Think I pushed the limit

Sleep

Figured I need some sleep. Well my body did that for me.

[azmarkm]

Think I pushed the limit

Thanks. I needed that one tonight.

Thanks Michelle.

lil.michelle;1079518 wrote: I think that using al to relief stress, anxiety, depression is something most of us do and have done. Once we've got ourself into the habit of numbing any emotion we feel it can become almost impossible to even imagine not turning to al in times of need. However, al makes all of the above a million times worst. It's a terrible depressant. Al addiction is a circle, a god awful circle.. We drink to numb pain, anger, fear, upset, stress, depression, anxiety, nurves... Then we get confused on what emotion is what and make excuses up to drink.. Busy day at work, hard day a work, boring day at work ect ect and the al just makes it worse.. We go round and round and we all know circles NEVER end UNLESS they ate broken.
You ARE going through a lot right now and I'm sooo sorry to hear this * hugs * but you now need to find away to release all these emotions with out surpressing them cause all that'll happen is they'll cone back when you're sober and bite you even harder in the ass.
First things first, get rid of al from the house.
Second, stay away from all places and company where you buy or drink al.
Third, stay busy!!! Anything to keep your mind occupied! Trust me, you'll need every ounce of will power you have NOT to drink! AL has a great way of putting up a convincing fight!
Also, don't be afraid to let your emotions come out, cry if you want to, sob it out.. Scream if you have too! Never keep them bottled up. In time you'll grow strongervand the days will get a lot easier, days will roll into weeks, weeks into months!
It take a min of 30 days to break a habit.
Try stay strong! I hope your results come back clear! I'm sorry you're having a hard time!! *huge hugs*

[lil.michelle]

Think I pushed the limit

Hey! I hope you don't mind me asking but how did everything go? My hubby got testicular cancer 3 weeks after the birth of our daughter. He stills go for tests. He had one the other day and I was a burbled wreck! He was calm and fine like always. He's now over 3 years clear so we'reover that half way point. Hope yours went well xx

[azmarkm]

Think I pushed the limit

Seems all is okay! No just to have the tongue heal up!

[vintage girl]

Think I pushed the limit

so pleased for you az, ^5!