support

[Liath]

Hi everyone-

It's been quite a while since I have posted and I am wondering if any of my old buddies are still around. I had a really out of control binge over a month ago, was probably on the brink of death, and so I joined AA as an act of desperation. By the grace of god, I am sober for over a month now. Its getting tougher and I am really frustrated with my situation... wishing I was *normal*, but alas, this is not to be. If anyone else is having trouble accepting the fact that they are an alcoholic, and can't manage their drinking, I'd love to hear from you. I guess I just need support anywhere I can find it to get through the days and weeks to come without taking that first drink.

Cheers,

[Rusty]

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Hi Liath,

It's great to see you again! Congratulations on your 30 days of sobriety!:goodjob: I left you a message several weeks ago and did not hear from you so I am glad you are doing well. You might want to post in the AA section of Monthly Abstinence. There's lots of support out there.

[greeneyes]

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Hello laith! Congratulations on your month!! I'm happy to see you trying get a foothold on sober life. If I recall correctly, you picked up and moved a great distance (for school or work?), leaving family and friends behind. Unfortunately, AL seems to have made the trek with you. Laith, I can say for myself that everything (really everything) became easier when I gave up the notion of EVER drinking again. No normal or abnormal drinking, EVER. I don't know how to tell you how that is done - that letting go of the possibility. My getting to that point did include a relapse that solidified the idea for me. For some, ODAT is easier than wrapping your head around the concept of never. What do you think will work for you? In the meantime, remember the tool box thread and consider a good solid plan be it daily, or longer term, or both. Rusty's suggestion of the AA thread is a good one! It's a great thread. There is a new one each week. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...0-a-48734.html

[gyco]

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attitude

Liath;1080657 wrote: Hi everyone-

It's been quite a while since I have posted and I am wondering if any of my old buddies are still around. I had a really out of control binge over a month ago, was probably on the brink of death, and so I joined AA as an act of desperation. By the grace of god, I am sober for over a month now. Its getting tougher and I am really frustrated with my situation... wishing I was *normal*, but alas, this is not to be. If anyone else is having trouble accepting the fact that they are an alcoholic, and can't manage their drinking, I'd love to hear from you. I guess I just need support anywhere I can find it to get through the days and weeks to come without taking that first drink.

Cheers,

hi liath i don t know you but congrats on your return,:goodjob:the support here is good, alchoholism is a day to day thing,it will never go away, alchoholic is another thing, i ve been doing this stop start thing for 12 years, i ve been thro AA, treatment centers, detox, everyone has to find the answer within themselves, what is normal, it is not normal to put alchohol in the human body, it does as you know effect all differently, but we are better known as the one s who shouldnt drink, other words ALCHOHOLIC ? saying one is an alchoholic can have unjust ramifications, hopefully the spelling is ok, hahahaha,it s a long journey my friend, slow and easy is the only way,:thanks: i wish you well gyco

[gyco]

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pretty brave of me a LION gettin help from a duck hahahaha

[ramblinrose]

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Hey there - I totally understand the frustration w/ being an alcoholic. It's by far the biggest thing I struggle with. Some days, I'm actually glad I'm an alcoholic: it's allowed me to deepend my spirituality, make 'real' connections with people, have relationships that are based on trust and understanding, instead of...well booze. But then other days, I'm just pissed that I have to be different!!

I did AA for a while, and during step one totally admitted, and knew, that I was an alcoholic and that my life was unmanageable. But did I 'accept' it? No - I was still wanting to hide it from family and friends, still wishing I was someone else. What finally brought me peace (and again this works for me 80% of the time ) is knowing that absolutely nothing happens by mistake. I am exactly where I need to be at this moment in time - and so are you.

Yes, it sucks at times, for sure. But we've been given this chance to connect to other human beings on a deeper level, and to help other people that are going through hell. And on most days, this makes me happy that I'm where I'm at now.

Welcome back by the way!

[vintage girl]

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Hi Liath, don't know you from before but just wanted to say hiya and welcome back. Well done on your month plus, please stick around and share!

[mario]

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Hi rambling rose welcome to mwo, great community here with lots of good advice and support,we all understand what your going through as we are all there or have passed through it,keep posting and sharing, you can do this..


Hiya laith welcome back, hope to see you around.

[Liath]

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Thanks everyone. I havealso found a lot of support in AA. I find that I need face to face interaction to stay AF. I am still struggling with the commonly held AA belief that once you abuse AL, you can never go back to being a social drinker. I surely don't miss the pain and suffering that drinking has brought me.. and surely it has brought me more harm then good.. so why am I dwelling on the downside of not drinking? I am just not sure that I want to give it up forever and completely.. For the foreseeable future, definitely. But the rest of my life?? I guess thats why they say one day at a time...

[Doggygirl]

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Hi Liath and welcome back. I struggled for many years not wanting to accept that I am alcoholic, and the best solution for me is to abstain. And the longer I kept struggling and resisting my alcoholism, the worse my drinking got and the more significant the consequences got.

Oh how I longed to "get it under control" and be able to drink normally. I totally understand your longing in that regard. Problem is that wishing it to be so - even with all your heart - won't make it so. It didn't for me.

After a short period of abstinence on the MWO program (60 days) I decided to drink again. I realized right away what a huge mistake that was. Within a week I was right back to my previous levels and then some. But I REALLY struggled to get back on the wagon. That went on for 8 months. I'm not sure what happened that allowed me to get AF again. But I was SO AFRAID of drinking again, and not being able to stop. That's when I finally went to AA which has been a big help to me. Some how some way, after a little over 2 years and 12 steps, I have no desire to drink. None. The obsession is gone. I also exercise a lot and try to watch my diet, and I attend meetings and pray/meditate, sponsor others, etc. Those activities are ALL worth it to me as for me, it works and I don't want to drink. I don't want to drink normally or abnormally. I don't want to drink at all. It's possible to reach this point - there are lots of people around here at MWO and also in AA (since you go) who have reached that point. Please don't give up or give in!

That is the only way for me. I just know what would happen if I drank again. The same thing that happens to most people when they drink again. Disaster slowly or quickly - and probably quickly.

I am a pickle, and I can never again be a cucumber. Period. Accepting this (finally!) has been about the most important thing in my life.

Congratulations on your month+ of sobriety! That is such a great start and seriously - things can keep getting better for you.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

DG

[Lavande]

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Welcome back Liath,
Good to see you again & CONGRATS on your AF month!

If one day at a time thinking is helping you then good. I was reluctant to admit to myself what I knew deep down - I just cannot drink ever again. Once I finally grasped that reality, everything really did get easier and the mind chatter stopped.

Wishing you the best on your joureny - you can do it

Lav

[Stargazerlily]

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Liath,
Hi! I remember sharing our journey in the past. I am sorry to hear you became so ill, but really pleased to hear you are 30 days AF. Wonderful. I too have struggled with remaining abstinent over the past few years, with months at a time AF, then moderating, then losing control, over and over again. The health problems do mount up, and it just seem that it is time to do things differently.

I guess, my thinking has changed. I have been AF since 2011, and want it daily. Every time I crave, I think of the last episode for me. It was horrible and ugly, probably like your last drinking episode. I keep that picture in my mind. Then, I rehearse how great I feel, healthy, peaceful, look younger, can make good decisions, am there for my loved ones, self-respect, appreciation of the wonderful world, increased spirituality, I could go on and on. Then I think, just for today, ODAT. I don't have to worry about forever.

What has drinking every reallly done for me? It is fun going down, but I like the real sober me so much better. I bet you like the real sober you better too. Is the intoxicated Liath as great as the sober Liath? Just think about it.

You know what else I have noticed? Most people just don't drink much. At all. It is not normal to hang out in bars after college. Really.

So, hope this was helpful, I know how hard it is......you are worth it and have so much to offer the world. Have a happy peaceful day.

[gyco]

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life

Liath;1080807 wrote: Thanks everyone. I havealso found a lot of support in AA. I find that I need face to face interaction to stay AF. I am still struggling with the commonly held AA belief that once you abuse AL, you can never go back to being a social drinker. I surely don't miss the pain and suffering that drinking has brought me.. and surely it has brought me more harm then good.. so why am I dwelling on the downside of not drinking? I am just not sure that I want to give it up forever and completely.. For the foreseeable future, definitely. But the rest of my life?? I guess thats why they say one day at a time...

hi liath, face to face is good as long as you dont work with them hahaha, stories get around ? anonomous is in the eye of the beholder ? as far as never drinking again i also struggled with it, not no more,we or i beat myself up constantly,should i or shouldnt i,well i do,but i no my my limit, and even we can say enuff is enuff,PRACTICE,even so called normal drinkers[if there is such a thing] have to practice not to , over do:H:thanks:trust me it s not worth bating your self up over gyco:H

[mollyka]

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Welcome back Liath - I remember you from before and well done on getting a month under your belt. There are little 'tools' I use when the stinkin thinkin starts. Mine are personal to me, so you would probably have a different list, but when I think of my physical state when I was drinking - fat, blotchy, exhausted all the time, headaches, ---I could go on ----I know I never want to be like that again, and vain as it may sound, it does get me thro tricky moments. Also the length of time you stay sober definitely makes drinking seem less relevant. No sort of 'oh I always drink on Sat night' or 'its my birthday, need to go on the lash' sort of thoughts, because NO I didn't drink last Sat and I didn't drink last birthday - It really does fade a lot with time. Still need to stay on our toes tho