Back at the bottom of the barrel!

[Beachbump]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

What happened?

Surely it is not only boredom? Something must have trigger it. 6 month is a long time - did you not think of talking to someone before you took the first drink? Did you had a craving? Maybe today - read some holistic stuff to help cleanse you emotionally? Alcoholism is a desease - and this shows - if we have this desease, there's no other cure than just STOP IMMEDIATELY! Good luck. Will stay in touch the rest of the day helping you through.

[Hippy Chick]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Hi everyone.
Thanks for all your support.

Made it thru day 1 and am filling up day 2 so I dont have time to think about anything.

Beachbump - boredom certainly played a part in me binging again. When I started someone told me if all you do is change the contents of your glass, you will not succeed. And that is really all I did, if I am completely honest. I knew the reasons I drank but didnt go about changing them. I knew I was bored at home, but just whinged about it, didnt find something to do to stop me being bored. I said "I didnt know what I wanted to do" and left it at that.

Complacency played a part too. I thought with all I had learnt during my 6 months abstaining I would be able to handle one or two. But that is just stupid to think that I could use what I had learnt and do exactly the opposite! I have issues with anxiety and panic attacks which I have medication for now. but I didnt do anything about looking at the real reason I cant face social events without being half plastered.

And no I didnt talk to anyone here (with the exception of one person - you know who I mean!), because that is part of my problem. I dont ask for help. I withdraw. Always have. I tend to try and help others so I dont have to thnk about whats going on with me.

But I am trying to change all that now. That is why I have come back to the place that will help me (if I let it). I need to actually do what I am told to here rather than just agree with people and tell myself I will do it later.

This is the only place that can help me. I know that and that is why I am back. Ready to fight!

Hip

[leaveinsilence]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Great to hear you sounding so positive:l

Filling my days was so beneficial in the first few weeks, infact I still am having to find things to occupy me at my witching times, I'm constantly playing tetris or solitare lately anything to stop my mind telling me it's 2pm, you have time for a quick couple before picking the kids up from school...

Being ready to fight is a great start:l

[Jolie]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Hip - glad to see you made it through day 1 and have plans for day 2. Boredom was big for me too. The other was making sure all the booze in my house is gone - I'm just weak-willed I guess. Please let us help you - we are all in this fight together!

[Lavande]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Hey HC!

On to day 2 - good for you

Listen to your friends here ~ sometimes we actually know what we're talking about :H
We want yo to succeed & be happy & healthy!

Lav

[mollyka]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Good on ya Hipsterr!! Missed you last night - went to bed reasonably early - hubs snored the whole night before after a bottle of wine - great to feel superior
Y'know, I would say a lot of peeps here go through the ' I'll just try and see' phase, and maybe we need to 'prove' to ourselves we just can't. I've proved it a few times unfortunately:upset: Sounds like you have too - my doc says we can take any cock up as a positive if we choose to - learn by mistakes in other words. But the day dawns, and reality kicks in. Boredom was a biggie for me too - love LIS's 'time for a couple before picking kids up from school' yep - wore that t-shirt too. 'Time to have a couple 'before work' 'before ironing' 'while cooking' etc. time can be the enemy too, just need to fill the hours with nice alternatives - mine aren't always great - shopping, playing online poker,smoking, watchin tele. hours on here (actually that is great!) - but hell, I'm not drinking - and that is my no. one priority - will try and replace above with volunteer work, scrubbing floors, swimming the channel -----just not yet!!!!:l
Molly

[Hippy Chick]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Hello there.

Thanks for all your support in my quest to get well again. I had a busy day and am exhausted, but made it thru so that is a good thing.

You talk about volunteering Molly, I have just started volunteering for Riding for the disabled. We take kids with disabilities on horse rides. Although I am not a horsey person (got thrown off about 25 years ago and never got back on!), I wanted to do something for someone else and I do love animals (although horses scare me) and they were desperate for volunteers so I stuck my hand up. To be completely honest, I think I get more out of it than I give. It is lovely to see the kids up on the horses, and the horses seem to understand that they have precious cargo. Only problem is it is still so bloody hot.... Wish it would rain!
So hopefully that is going to start on the trek to me gaining some sanity.

Hope everyone else is doing OK tonight.

Talk to you tomorrow.

HC

[not tonight]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Hi Hippy Chick,

Well done on the volunteering. I have a friend here who works with a similar group. Over the half term break she and her daughters went to Israel to work with the disabled there.

Like you I did nearly 6 months and then began to entertain thoughts about moderating, which led to my old habits, again. For me I think there was something daunting about the 6 month mark. Sort of a crossing of the Rubicon.

Presently I am struggling to stay on track, however I believe it is possible to get sober and stay sober. I also believe this site is key to maintaining sobriety. Whenever I get complacent about not drinking, and don't make time during the day to check in here, well eventually my drunk brain gains the advantage. I am glad you are back, the fight goes on!!

[greeneyes]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

HC, good to see you back on board! Keep putting one foot in front of the other!

[spuddleduck]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

hippy, so sorry youre feeling rock bottom. it good that you have come back for support. maybe you have learnt something from this. start baby steps, one day at a time..... youve done it before and you can do it again. the volunteering sounds like a great idea, doing something for others gives a sense of wellbeing. dig deep and you will achieve your happy sobriety again.

[Doggygirl]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Just wanted to join in the welcome back HC. Good you are here again. While I would never recommend it to anyone, it seems most of us have to go through a period of sobriety and then.....(relapse?attempt at mods?whatever you want to call it!) before we GET that we are alcoholic and can't drink safely, ever. I know I sure had to go through it.

I too love volunteer work. Keeps me grounded and off of my pity pot.

Never give up,

DG

[Beachbump]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Hi Hippie Chick

Julie, how are you doing today? Please let us know! Are you keeping it up?

[Mazzie]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Hi HippyC

Good to see you. Welcome back. The bottom of the barrel is a good place to be getting away from. Let's never go back there OK? Good job putting your hand up for those great kids and six months!

Have a good af day today.

Maz

[Jolie]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Hip - so glad to see you doing well! Volunteering is a wonderful thing to be doing - especially when it involves kids. Good for you.

Keeping busy is so important I think - especially early on.

Hang in there friend!

[Hippy Chick]

Back at the bottom of the barrel!

Hi.

So nice to see so many old faces (well, you know what I mean..) thank you all for your support. It really does mean so much. As I have said time and time again, this is the only place where everyone understands, there is no judgement and we can keep coming back without shame or fear. It truly is a wonderful community.

I am doing so much better today. Still feeling a bit sick and shaky as the poison gets out of my system, but as it is still so bloody hot here (even though it is autumn it is still 36C) and I am trying to do alot of exercise (to get rid of that wine fat around my waist:upset i think I am sweating alot of pure wine out....

Am taking one day/hour/minute at a time but I know if I keep coming here and accepting your wonderful help and support I can do it.

Thanks again everyone.

Take care

HC