I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I already accept that I'm an alco. However it would be good if I could function to high level at the same time. I'm sick of worrying about this, it takes up too much time. Those guys seem to have the best of both worlds, they get the job done and yet at the same time get to keep the booze/ Probably being stupid but I'm sick of feeling miserable about not drinking, I'd rather just drink!

[coalfire]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

Hi end of the line. Emily and I have been talking about this in her thread I just want to be like my friends.https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...nds-48538.html

As a high functoning alcoholic myself I can promise you that its just another form of misery. If it made you happy then so many of us wouldnt be here.I am sorry you are having such a bad day. I think we all feel like that at times.

[akgirl]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

_EndOfTheLine_;1082564 wrote: and yet at the same time get to keep the booze!

Yep, they keep the booze...and all the future health problems that go with it. They get to have shorter lives. And all the while their family and friends get to watch.


I am/was (only a week sober) a very high functioning AL. There is no way I thought I would ever stop. Until I considered my future health. Liver didsease is a silent killer. I or we may all feel fine but the damage we are doing is terrible.

Sending you:l and support, I know it is hard but in the long run it will be so much better.

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

Yeah thanks coalfire & Ak. I knew it was stupid. i was just a bit disillusioned with the fact that everyone was delighted with the fact that they are sober and I'm hating it. And then, (5mins ago) I actually found an answer when I did a bit of searching, something called "Living Sober Sucks (But living drunk sucks more)". The title cheered me up because its utterly the truth for me now. I'm downlaoding the audiobook now, if nothing else its kept me sober for today!

[coalfire]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

Hi end of the line. Im not delighted with the fact that I HAVE to be sober. If they ever invent a cure for this stupid horrible disease then I will be so happy that I will sit on my roof for a week and let off fireworks.You can come and join me if you want! However today 22nd march 2011 there is no cure and I must give up alcohol like it or not.(not) I am happy that I have managed to do that for 58 days so far, so I am delighted that I am sober today. Does that make any sense?

[Kimberley]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

I used to be a high-functioning alcoholic of sorts. I would drink all day every day, so I never really had hangovers, never got sick. I went to uni, held down jobs (yes drinking at work, out of a sprite bottle filled with gin)....

Fast forward a few years, I quit uni after becoming suicidal, later I lost my job due to being drunk at work. Now if I drink, I binge until my body can physically take no more - and then I have the most horrendous withdrawals, which have got worse too. Halluicnations, DTs even a few seizures.

Alcoholism is a progressive illness. Even if you were a high-functioning alcoholic now, if you carried on, it would only be a matter of time until you weren't anymore.

K x

[akgirl]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

coalfire;1082586 wrote: However today 22nd march 2011 there is no cure and I must give up alcohol like it or not.(not)

Giving up AL IS the cure. It will never be safe to consume, I guess some would argue the said health benefits of small amounts, and everything in moderation. But AL is simply a detergent that can be burnt as fuel. A toxic poison. Why else do we throw up when we've had too much, our body is trying to tell us something right? Once I started thinking of it that way and realizing what I was doing to my body......wine just doesn't sound so good anymore

Im not trying to come across like I know it all....oh, far far from it, this is all waaay new to me. But it's these realizations that made it possible for me to quit and not want it anymore. Not saying I might not stumble, but I sure think of good ol AL different these days.

I will have to look up that title, I LOVE audio books. Stay strong!!! :l

[coalfire]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

"Giving up AL IS the cure"-Akgirl

I agree

[Beachbump]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

A fact is, is that if we coul drink in moderation, as our friends, we would not visiting this page and counting our AF days! I've got the same problem than Kimberley - this is my 11th day AF and I feel good - no cravings and that I know will last for 2-3 weeks and them I get aggitated, anxiety attacks, etc. then I binge drinking until my body can take no more. I know I've got liver damamge - due to drinking 8 bottles whiskey in 7 days! The withdrawals is horrendous - most of the time I have to go on drinking, bit for bit - just not to die and then gradually go off. The worst is to wake up in the morning, go for a wee and try to figure out wheter I can walk or not - am I better today or worse. NO THANK YOU - I'M FINISH1 I've got to much to live for - I just pray I'll find the strenght to keep it up!

[dancingon]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

Hi There End of Line
I am also a high functioning alcoholic. Most of my friends and work colleagues would have no clue. I have drunk so much that I can't remember the night before, then got up at 6.30am to make school lunches, wake my kids, go to work etc. I always cook, clean the house and have clean clothes for my kids. I even got a new job.
As the others have said, it catches up with you every now and then. You can't remember conversations, promises to your kids, details. You realise the next day that you must have driven under the influence and you don't even remember it. Every now and then you embarrass yourself. And you are aware you are wrecking your health but can't find it in you to do anything about it.
The worse part is that it controls you. I think this is where the delight comes for many who manage to stop, as it feels good to take that back.
On the other hand, I think we all go through that feeling that we're missing out of something others take for granted. I seem to have reached the stage where I can choose to drink moderately. But actually it doesn't give me that much pleasure to do so, and it still feels like I could go too far if I'm not careful.

It's normal to wonder what to do with yourself as alcohol has defined you for so long. If you stay off for a good length of time eventually you start to feel better and start to get a grip on who you might want to be now.

[ATLThrash]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

I was a high functioning alky. Adn while in others eyes it did not catch up with me-- in mine it was-- I was not physically fit, was filed with teh most horrid anxiety-- that was really it-- I just flet after all that time such worry. It is much better without drinking-- I still worry but at least I can now sleep at night!

[mollyka]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

The longer I stay off the booze the more I question my 'highly functioning alkie' status!
On paper, yep I walked the walk. Held down a full time job, kept a nice house, socialised with friends, kids thought I was great, (hubs not soooo great!), never got caught drink-driving etc. -- but from a completely sober viewpoint I do look back, and even in work situations I cringe at some 'instances' that I remember, and I often wonder did people round me know a lot more than they let on. Frankly now I'd rather not know - there is nothing I can do about it - today is today - and today I'm not drinking - that's it.......nothing else counts
Molly

[mario]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

I was a very high functioning alcoholic, well I thought I was, But in hindsight it was just a terrible unhappy time ,with everything being done in a stressful & anxiety feeling as i could not wait till my drinking hour, eventually my drinking hour became the priority and the work went out the window,These days I can take evrythingin my stride and be quite positive & happy about them.

[jane jane]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

I, too, used to classify myself (somewhat smugly) as "high-functioning". And, like several of you in this thread, I have come to doubt that I was any such thing! I think that I just gradually lowered my standards, so that I was "functioning," all right, but at a fairly un-challenging level.

True, I never got a DUI, never had a car wreck, never threw up, never missed a writing deadline, always had a clean house and great food prepared...BUT...

I skipped most days at the gym because I was "too tired" (of course I was tired by noon, after starting on wine right after morning coffee!)...I quit a book club because they didn't serve wine (out of respect for another recovering-alkie member) and joined one that DID (although I don't remember many of the discussions!)...completely let go of my gardening hobby, because it required two hands (needed one free for my lovely glass of pinot, of course!) and let my bicycle gather dust, because even at my drunkest, I had enough sense (thank God) not to hit the streets on two wheels while plastered!

Do I miss drinking? At first, it was "all the time;" segued into "most of the time," scaled back to, "on special occasions," and now I can truthfully say, "no, not really." I'd love, love, love to think that one day I'll moderate, but those of you here who have learned that you CANNOT do that are convincing me that I'm one of you, in that respect. I try to never say "never," but...I think that's how it'll have to be.

[Doggygirl]

I think I'll become a high-functioning alcoholic

_EndOfTheLine_;1082564 wrote: I already accept that I'm an alco. However it would be good if I could function to high level at the same time. I'm sick of worrying about this, it takes up too much time. Those guys seem to have the best of both worlds, they get the job done and yet at the same time get to keep the booze/ Probably being stupid but I'm sick of feeling miserable about not drinking, I'd rather just drink!

Hi EOL. Former high functioner here myself. I have heard and read over and over that alcoholism is progressive. It sure was for me. Early on I was a very high funtioning drunk. And then I was just high functioning. Then functioning. Then after 30 years of it, practically non-functional.

It's only a stage.

DG