I want my life back..

[caper564]

OK I did it. Went to bed sober last night (the first time in a long time) and woke up this morning and took my first Antabuse. Agree with it or not, i think it will save my life. I have no choice but to quit and that little demon voice in my head that convinces me to drink just turned off. I stared at that bottle of pills for a month and i finally did it. Its a relief. I have counseling monday to balance it all out and my Dr wants to see me once a week.

But really it was MWO that did it. I am so grateful for the honest heart breaking stories. I spent days reading hundreds of entries. I see I am not struggling alone and that made all the difference. I went throught the house last night and "tried" to find every hidden bottle and can and put them all in a trash bag.
DONE now I will start the long up hill battle. one thing I will share that I tell myself

Alcohol is not a reward, Its a punishment
:thanks:

[DSLR]

I want my life back..

Well done caper564 I know this the start of the beginning for you. I have only just joined the forum and like you am spending time to read the posts and see that the things I am feeling and struggling with are shared with so many others and that so many have succeded, as you will.

From reading all the deeply moving and honest posts I think it is not how you do it that is important, it is that you try and keep trying until you reach your goal.

I saw this quote today and think that it is probably says what I mean a bit better:

?Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.? Maria Robinson

I am not ready to start my journey yet, but you are an inspiration to me, thank you. All the very best with it caper564 :wd:

[Doggygirl]

I want my life back..

Hi Caper and DSLR. :welcome: to you both!!

Caper, I am SO HAPPY for you making that fresh start this morning. I know a lot of people who are sober today and who got their start taking Antabuse. I think you are very wise to use it as a tool in your plan which also includes counseling, etc.

AL was a punishment and not a reward in my life too. Took me 30 years to see it, but that's my truth too. For me it is worth every painful step taken to GET FREE of AL's daily grip on me. If I can do it, so can you.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

[caper564]

I want my life back..

thank you for the support. it means allot. I have made a commitment to myself to come to MWO every day (sometimes a couple of times a day) just to keep myself positive and motivated.

DSLR don't worry your time will come when your ready. I have battled with this decision for years.. hating myself every morning i wake up either still drunk or with a huge headache then start drinking again. I'm 44 and my life and family are passing me by. you will find the strength.

Caper

[Shiner]

I want my life back..

Hi Caper.... Nice to meet you... We will all help each other..

Shiner

[Beachbump]

I want my life back..

Good luck Caper!

Today your first day, tomorrow your second and then third...just stick to MWO as you say you will. This is my 12th day and I feel good and optimistic with the support of this community I will get to my 28 day AF. yOU CAN ALSO DO IT!:welcome:

[Kimberley]

I want my life back..

Hey Caper and DSLR,

Welcome to MWO and glad to have you aboard.

Caper that's a great plan - stick close to the boards and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

DSL that is indeed a great quotation - see my signature. I always thought it was originally by Carl Bard. I can't remember where I first saw it, but I found it so comforting and it's always stuck with me.

Hope to read of both of your journeys on these boards. Good luck!

K x

[Jolie]

I want my life back..

Caper and DSLR :welcome:

You have found a wonderful place - it's been the answer to my prayers, that's for sure.

Caper - in making the decision that you have made today, you have turned the tables on AL - instead of it controlling your life, you are now in control and that's a mighty powerful feeling my friend. Stick close and let us help you.

DSLR - Please keep reading all the posts here - I think you'll find some that are in exactly the same place as you. For me personally, this decision has been the best one of my life and living without alcohol has given me a new life that I am loving every single day! No guilt to contend with every waking morning for the past several years as well as worrying about how AL was affecting my physical health.

No one judges you here so feel free to share your thoughts, questions, fears and hopes.

Welcome.

[Lavande]

I want my life back..

Congrats on your decision caper!
You are making a huge change for the better
So glad MWO has been helpful - that's what this is all about!

Best wishes!

Lav

[caper564]

I want my life back..

thank you everyone for your encouragement... tonight went well... only cravings for munchies, I think i've eaten every cracker in the house... LOL I am looking forward to tomorrow, and waking up hangover free...

[DSLR]

I want my life back..

Good morning caper. Good to see your post last night :goodjob: and I hope you have had a great nights sleep and can't wait to get stuck into today.

I didn't drink last night either, so I think it will be a good day, the sun is out already so I might venture out with my camera and capture a bit of today!

Thanks for your kind words and Jolie and Kimberley, I know I am close now to making the final step I just need to have a couple more steady days so I can plan to succeed this time, rather than giving it a go, failing then feeling even worse about myself. MWO has been a massive influence already, thank you.

Hi Kimberley, I got the quote from an on-line site, which attributes it to Maria Robinson, but it might well be wrong. But who ever wrote it, it is inspiring isn't it.


All the best for an excellent day and AL free night caper and bonne journee to everyone.

[caper564]

I want my life back..

DAY 3... and It feels so good to wake up Sober..