Am 55 years old, married to a wonderful husband. Life is good. Except for the demon alcohol. Started drinking socially about 30 years ago, you know, Friday / Saturday nites, but never to excess. My mom got brain cancer in '87 and I was primary caregiver. Started drinking heavily at that time. Scotch was my friend of choice and had the best part of a 26oz bottle every nite. Drank heavily for about 6 years and stopped 'cause I was scaring myself. Went back to social drinking after about 6 months of being AF.
Back to the heave drinking, isn't it amazing how quickly you can become "re-addicted"? Only now it's wine and sometimes vodka and very rarely rye.
Wine? At least 1 litrer a nite (sometimes 1 1/2 or 2). Then Saturdays and Sundays it's generally 2 to 3 litres each day.
Trouble is, I don't get traditional hangovers. Generally no headache at all, or, if I do, nothing that one or two tylenol won't get rid of. No nausea. Just very tired.
But I know I'm slowly killing my poor body. I have no passion left for life. My only passion is the bottle. I will swear each day I'm going to quit or at least cut down, but as soon as I get home from work I think, "ahh, let's have a nice relaxing glass of wine". But I don't stop until that bottle is gone, and if it's gone before I'm ready to go to bed I'll open another one.
You know it's bad when you start drinking (literally) the minute you get up on the weekend and don't stop 'til you go to bed.
I've done a lot of reading on this site and ordered the book, CD's and supplements. I've also thought about seeing my doc about the prescription meds but decided against it for various reasons.
NOW.... my fear.... what can I expect as far as withdrawal symptoms go??? I've quit in the past with basically no effects, but back then I was drinking socially and I also hadn't been drinking over 20 years on a daily basis.
I've read about sweating, headaches, anxiety, shakiness and even potentially seizures (that really scares me). I do now experience sweating (generally in the night, sometimes during the day) that goes away when I have my "first drink of the day". Sometimes my heart will also start pounding.
Do I need to be so scared that I don't stop? Even though I know I need (and desperately want) to stop, or at the very least, moderate greatly, is it rational to have the withdrawl feer keep me from doing that?
I'm home today and it's nearing noon. I've had nothing to drink today so far. Can you believe that I'm proud simply of the fact that I would normally have started drinking about 4 hours ago?
Thanks for listening and I'd really appreciate any words of support and perhaps others' experiences with withdrawal. Will this programm lessen the effects?
God... this is truly overwhelming.
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