Here i go again

[big mo]

Morning guys, Here i go again back to square one, don't know why but i can't sort my life out and stop drinking, i have been on MWO for several years now and every time i hit rock bottom i come on and post how desperate i am, read the messages of support from other members and start going to AA all of which keeps me off drink , then gradually stop doing all the things that help me stay sober and end up back at rock bottom, i know what to do to stay sober but can't get my head sorted, maybe i don't want to stop drinking and just do what i have to for a break when things get messy, i know drink will kill me if i keep on drinking a bottle of vodka 6 nights a week and i talk the talk but can't walk the walk, honestly i really do know the harm drink is doing in all aspects of my life and my familys lives and i know how good it feels when i get sober for even a short period of time but when i want to drink nothing will stop me and i will stop tomorrow and everything will be sorted from tomorrow, wish tomorrow would hurry up and come.
Anyway i will just have to start over again and hope this time i will get my head sorted and stick at it, even as i am writing this its not 10 am yet and i am thinking about drinking tonight , i never crave drink in the morning indeed i can go for a meal and be the designated driver and it does'nt bother me as long as i have a bottle of vodka waiting for me when i get home. have a good day guys and thanks for reading.

[coalfire]

Here i go again

Did you ever think of Baclofen Mo? Some people who have had no success with other methods are doing well on it. There are dozens of threads on it in our meds section. There are other meds mentioned there too. Have you tried taking medication?

[Beachbump]

Here i go again

Maybe you need a life coach - some one that can help you sort out the things bothering you...

[Bluejay]

Here i go again

Hey big mo,

I'm not in a position to offer any suggestions - if you get my drift.

Just sending well wishes your way.

[vintage girl]

Here i go again

Hi big Mo,

a bottle of voddie six nights a week, but if you turn that around on it's head you are sober one day out of seven. So what is different about that day? Could you maybe turn that one day into two, three? Seven eventually?

You have acknowledged that drinking that much will kill you eventually, you don't want that, do you?

Keep reading and posting and try to get some AL free days under your belt ODAT, your thinking will be clearer and you will be stronger for it.

Oh, and I totally get what you said about being fine with being DD as long as you had a bottle to come home to. I did that with wine, same poison, different taste. Wishing you all the best and please let us know how you are going. :l