Hi - long time to come back here, tho I knew I always would! Just wondering if anyone else has been in my situation. I'm fast approaching 40 years old, pretty happy go lucky, but have drank heaviliy since about 16 years old. I've learned to handle hangovers, and can pretty much fumble my way through the worst of days, yet rarely have a night off - even if it's just a couple (Wine is my weapon of choice). My drinking has long been the butt of most of my friends jokes, who are probably worried about me but know they're wasting their breath. My husband used to be my accomplice, but can drink a lot when the mood takes him, but rarely does. I've started to feel a bit ropey lately, and thinking that I wish alcohol just wasn't an issue with me, it wears me out thinking about it. I've always justified it by saying I've never drank during the day, nor want too, but boy can I put it away after 6 pm. Sunday night though was my - I think - rock bottom, where on an online chat room made a very unappropriate comment to one of my 16 year olds sons friends...which at the time I thought was hilarious..I was mortified when I read it the next day, and felt like I had a rock in my chest all day, I'm only just starting to calm down as everyone has just laughed it off, but I feel horrendous. That led me to acknowleding EVERY very regrettable thing I've ever done, of which all of them have been alcohol fuelled, and I know for a fact, none of them would EVER have happened without my being plastered. I havn't had a drop since, and feel like I could never have one again, I feel so ashamed. Has anyone used a situation like this to shock start their sobriety? It's really appealing to me at the moment! Thanks xxxxx:new:
P.S - I know I've asked - do I need to stop - reading this - of course I do. What a nightmare.
P.S - I know I've asked - do I need to stop - reading this - of course I do. What a nightmare.
Comment