Self Destruction
Scarlet,
That was very helpful..............things we know but it helps to be reminded. I did quit the Topa, I figured there were so many things I was on at one time or another it was wonderful to be AF and med free as well. If I can do it that way; if not I"ll start the Topa again. Only had 4 days on it anyway. I just need to remind myself to be patient; this is the first long term sobriety I have had and I need to learn what normal really is. But as you I am excessive about all I do; guess that's a trait of ours, no matter what it is. So indeed I need to just learn what I skipped during the growing to 59 process. But all you caring people that are struggling as I am sure do help make it easier. Thanks to all. 65Af for me today. I just keep feeling better and better about myself. Gee how great it would have been if I could have discovered this way back when; instead of thinking that Alcohol was my answer to everything............and then it ended up being the most important thing there was, replacing people, relationships, respect, health..........as I watched my intake continue to increase it seemed by the week. I never got past 1/2 a fifth...........I think, but the time it took me to drink that amount got shorter and shorter.......and the desire to go make another more urgent........made myself sick. Looking down on myself with such pity and discust..........glad I was able to pull out. With God's help, had to be him; cause I sure hadn't been capable up till then. Thanks again to all.
Scarlet,
That was very helpful..............things we know but it helps to be reminded. I did quit the Topa, I figured there were so many things I was on at one time or another it was wonderful to be AF and med free as well. If I can do it that way; if not I"ll start the Topa again. Only had 4 days on it anyway. I just need to remind myself to be patient; this is the first long term sobriety I have had and I need to learn what normal really is. But as you I am excessive about all I do; guess that's a trait of ours, no matter what it is. So indeed I need to just learn what I skipped during the growing to 59 process. But all you caring people that are struggling as I am sure do help make it easier. Thanks to all. 65Af for me today. I just keep feeling better and better about myself. Gee how great it would have been if I could have discovered this way back when; instead of thinking that Alcohol was my answer to everything............and then it ended up being the most important thing there was, replacing people, relationships, respect, health..........as I watched my intake continue to increase it seemed by the week. I never got past 1/2 a fifth...........I think, but the time it took me to drink that amount got shorter and shorter.......and the desire to go make another more urgent........made myself sick. Looking down on myself with such pity and discust..........glad I was able to pull out. With God's help, had to be him; cause I sure hadn't been capable up till then. Thanks again to all.
Comment