Starting again

[free at last]

Hi all,
I joined MWO last April, when my partner told me how embarrassing my behavior was at parties. I have probably tried to stop drinking 20 times in the past 13 years. This past year, I managed 6 consecutive AF days in April 2010, 22 consecutive days in July, and 10 consecutive days in Jan. In Feb and March, the most it seemed I could achieve was 2 consecutive days.

I know that moderation is not an option for me -- if I have 1 drink, I want to drink until I fall asleep. I looked at the tool kit and think I must be the kind of person whose body seems to have an allergic reaction to alcohol in that I can go without a drink for a day or two but if I have a drink, I want the entire bottle. The difficulty is my work involves a lot of social events -- dinners, cocktail parties. For example, I went Sat and Sun AF but then Monday had a work dinner and the red wine flowed so I broke down and had two glasses.

I decided to declare my intentions on this site because I have seen the incredible support you all provide one another. My goal right now is go to April 14th -- two weeks AF. Won't be able to post my progress every day, but will check in when I can.

[Hippy Chick]

Starting again

Well done Free at last.

You have been AF in the past so you know that you can do it. Coming here is a huge help so log on when you can.
There is no need for embarrassment or shame in this site. We all understand where you have been and where you want to go.

Good luck with reaching your goal. I will be watching for your post on april 14th saying you have reached it sober.

Hip

[caper564]

Starting again

HI Free.
I to am a drinker that could not stop at 1.. i would drink until the house was empty then wake up at3 am looking for more. its a terrible way to live. My booze brain would try to trick me into thinking i could have just 1 or 2 and thats it. NO NO i could not. I am 10 Days AF now and its the longest run i have had in years. Are the social work events mandatory? could you decide you will stop going to them for a few weeks?
If I can do it, You can do it. keep posting!! MWO is a life saver
Caper

[jane jane]

Starting again

Hello FaL. I'm like you and so many here---moderation is not an option (nor much fun). And while I don't have work functions, my husband and I do have an active social/community life involving constant opportunities/open bars! It's not realistic for most of us to simply avoid drinking situations---and these occasions will never disappear. We can't all live on a boozeless desert island, or hide in a cave---we just have to toughen up, order club soda or a Coke, and DO IT. You can!

[Want to Stop]

Starting again

Hi there!

I have the same problem. Despite the countless times I have told myself I can only have one, it is simply not true. When I take a drink and it hits my tongue, something takes over that I can not control. It is beyond my ability. I recommend taking it one day at a time. Sometimes, I have to break it down to one hour at a time. I am now on day 5 of being AF. I have made it 35 days in the past. I know I can do this and so can you. Find alternative things to drink at the social events that are pleasing to you.
I know it may be a scary step, but if you think it appropriate, inform your co-workers you wish to stop drinking. They may provide support as well. Sometimes, that does not go as planned. You have to use your judgement. In my case, it was best to alert EVERYONE of my addiction/ allergy and make my AF lifestyle public knowledge.
Best of luck! Stay strong.

[Lavande]

Starting again

Welcome back Free at Last!

Discovering & finally accepting that you just cannot drink moderately is a blessing really!
I felt such a sense of relief when I got to that point - you will too

Just keep telling yourself that drinking is not an option anymore......it worked for me!

[free at last]

Starting again

Thanks to all for your advice. This is an amazing forum. I am leaving this afternoon for a much needed week holiday of yoga, mediation, and exercise -- my form of detox. I arranged this to begin on March 31so I could have 11 days of no social/work obligations. I have spent the first hour of my holiday reading various posts, including mine from almost a year ago and earlier this year.

I am enormously grateful to the long-timers who post regularly -- your progress is an inspiration.

[Wagoneer]

Starting again

Congrats Free at Last! You have a great attitude and that is half the battle. No way can I moderate either. Just not wired that way. This place reall rocks. I could not ask for a bunch of nicer, more supportive people. I could not have made it 5 months sober without them! Best of luck to you (and all the other posters) - it is a tough road, but well worth it. I have never felt better in all my life! ((((you guys)))))

K

[coalfire]

Starting again

free at last;1087995 wrote: I must be the kind of person whose body seems to have an allergic reaction to alcohol in that I can go without a drink for a day or two but if I have a drink, I want the entire bottle. .

Thats exactly the type of alcoholic that I am..no problem doing without it for a few days but when I start, its hold on to your hat time.

I am on day 66 AF now. Its not easy but it is getting a little easier. I take lithium orotate which helps to calm me enough to make good decisions and a quarter of an antabuse tablet if I know that I am going into a high risk social situation. The best thing about it is the lack of fear in your life. I never have to worry now about what I said /did the night before. The more you enjoy that sense of control,the more you want it. You are not on your own. Good luck.

[Doggygirl]

Starting again

HI Free. Good for you taking an 11 day reprieve to get a good start to sober living.

Just a thought on the work / social situations. Can you identify some non-drinkers who also have to attend these events? I used to think that *everyone* drank. Little did I know that people who *drank like me* (to excess) were often the small minority.

I attend and lot of Chamber of Commerce functions and I have gotten to know some non-drinkers. It makes it easier to mingle with everyone when I know I have some "anchor people" I can always go visit with to get grounded.

Just a thought.

Best wishes to you! If I can do this, I know you can too. I was hopeless there in the end.

DG

[Georgie]

Starting again

Good 4 free at last, glad you're back. I too can not drink moderately, it seems that most true alcoholics can not. I envy you being able to get away to start your recovery, I wish I could. Best of luck to you and hang in there, you're on the right road.

[Georgie]

Starting again

Good 4 u free at last, glad you're back. I too can not drink moderately, it seems that most true alcoholics can not. I envy you being able to get away to start your recovery, I wish I could. Best of luck to you and hang in there, you're on the right road.

[free at last]

Starting again

Thanks to all for your good advice. When I think about going 90, 63, even 30 days AF, I can get a little overwhelmed. But today was good and tomorrow is not here yet. Will keep getting support from the site.