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    #31
    Coping with death

    Softy;1095537 wrote: Day 72 Today and staying AF is the thing I will do to honour my mums memory. Yesterday underlined the value of life. You only get one ride on the fair. I am going to live and breathe every minute I get. Wasting hours feeling hungover would be an insult to my mums memory:h:h:h
    That is so beautiful Softy. What a wonderful tribute to your mum. :l

    DG
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


    One day at a time.

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      #32
      Coping with death

      Softy I am so sorry to hear of your loss but I am in admiration of the way that you are responding to this awful situation. I think staying AF would be a lovely way to honour your Mum's memory :l

      Dewdrop :h
      Enjoy today - there will be no other one quite like it....

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        #33
        Coping with death

        Beachbump;1095540 wrote: As I said...I admire you.

        Don't know where in the world you are - but how does funeral and the arrangements work? Do you have a support system besides your sisters? Are they younger or older than you?
        In the UK. My two sisters are 8 and 7 years older than me but I am a stubborn little bloke and I will take on most of the organizing. I want to do it as it will keep my mind busy. The devil makes work for idle hands to do! It was Coalfire who suggested the tribute idea and it is perfect. That is an inspired piece of advice
        Last drink 6th September 2013

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          #34
          Coping with death

          Softy,

          Sending condolences to you and your family. I am very grateful to hear you were there for her and your family. I am also grateful to hear that her passing was a gentle ride.

          A tribute is a wonderful idea!!

          Stay a stubborn bloke. :l:l

          Love,
          Cindi
          AF April 9, 2016

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            #35
            Coping with death

            Good for you. Think your Mom is smiling down with proud at her stubborn son!

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              #36
              Coping with death

              Softy I am so sorry for your loss and I admire your strength and the fact you are not drinking
              I love my family more than alcohol.:h
              Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                #37
                Coping with death

                Softy you are someone to admire. I am sorry for the loss of your mum, its a hard road but being dignified, determined and a lot of stubborn will help you through. Best wishes.

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                  #38
                  Coping with death

                  Hey Softy,

                  My thoughts are with you and your family. Sounds like you are all close and will have lots of happy memories to think about and share. All the best.

                  Maz
                  Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

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                    #39
                    Coping with death

                    I am so glad to see you are sober today. I was worried that it would be too hard, I really was. I was on standby for a relapse post. I am glad to see you are made of sterner stuff. Stay close Softy especially on the funeral day. Do you know when it will be yet?
                    I am a sobriety tart. AA/Smart/RR philosophy, meds/diet/exercise/prayer,rabbbits feet/four leaf clovers/horseshoes. Yes please.I will have them all thank you very much.Bring them on


                    There is no way the bottle is going to be stronger than I am.

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                      #40
                      Coping with death

                      Sorry for your loss Softy, take care . MM
                      AF 5/jan/2011

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                        #41
                        Coping with death

                        So sorry for your loss, Softy. It is hard to lose a parent. I lost my dad on Boxing Day.

                        In my experience, thus far..... when he passed it was a feeling of relief for me, his wife and with no doubt, himself... He had cancer and was very sick for a long time. I watched the man deteriorate the last 6+ months of his life. It was the worse thing I had gone through seeing I could do nothing to save him.

                        Anyway, here we are at almost 4 months since he passed. I can tell you that this grief thing is a roller coaster thing from Hell. I did OK the first couple of months. The reality of his actually being 'gone' didn't feel 'real' (even though I watched him dying up till 2 hours before he passed).

                        It has only been the past 3 weeks that I have been an extreme emotional mess. The reality has set in, I have NO one to talk to about it (support is soooo important!!) and I cry all of the time; everywhere and anywhere!!

                        I have isolated myself, I have drank a few times, which exasperated the pain. At first it numbs it until I have that 'one too many' then I am soooooooo depressed and bawling.

                        I am overcome with absolute grief.... now.

                        I just wanted to say that it will come in waves and having a support system, which it sounds like you do, is so very important. Talking to people, or even grief counselor would be a good thing.

                        I am going to start seeing a counselor tomorrow. I thought I could handle this, seeing he was really sick and is finally at peace, but there is something going on with my head now that I need to talk to someone.

                        Again, I am sorry for your loss. I just wanted to share with you what I am going through. At first everything was 'ok' and 'peaceful'. Then as of late it has hit me like a Semi-truck.

                        xoxo

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                          #42
                          Coping with death

                          Dear Softy,
                          I wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. I was able to be present when my father crossed over (and for a change, I was sober). It is a rare privilege to be able to hold a loved one's hand while their physical life ends. The next weeks will be hard but you have on-line friends thinking of you.
                          Free at Last
                          "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                          Highly recommend this video
                          http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                          July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Coping with death

                            MWO massive

                            Massive support from you all is greatly appreciated at such a difficult time:thanks:

                            My normal weekly "weeks later" post this week will be eleven weeks later. It will be the day of the funeral. I will be making that post because I no longer drink.

                            KEEP ON KEEPING ON!
                            Last drink 6th September 2013

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Coping with death

                              Well done softly we are all thinking of you and your family, Wishing you continual strength at this sad time in your journey.


                              :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                              Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                              I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                              This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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                                #45
                                Coping with death

                                Softy im sending you love and strength.......KEEP ON KEEPING ON! :l
                                "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                                AF - JAN 1st 2010
                                NF - May 1996

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