Eleven Weeks Later

[Softy]

When I started on this path - initial goal 90 days AF - back in Jan I could never have envisaged what difficulties lay ahead. I have just got back from my mum's funeral and am relieved it is over and relieved that I didn't drink. I felt so much stronger sober and was able to stand up and read a poem at the service. I will look back and cherish that moment for the rest of my life. Today I grew up to be a man. I have no parents left but I am not drinking like a teenager. I am finally in contol of my own life. Today was a very sad day. I couldn't do justice here in words to how much I loved my mum or how empty life will be without her. She suffered terribly with Alzheimers for the last five years, but that mother / son bond remained and we were always able to communicate even when she couldn't speak. You only get one ride on the fair. Please don't waste it like I was doing obliterating my senses on booze.

I accepted the commiserations
Of all my freinds and my relations
But I still don't understand
Why we all have to die

Don't die whilst you are alive - there is plenty of time for that later - live life long and sober KEEP ON KEEPING ON:h:h:h

[Bean]

Eleven Weeks Later

Hi Softy

Sorry (again) for your loss and congratulations on getting through these dark days sober.

And wow, 'don't die while you're alive' - what a powerful statement. That's exactly what I was doing before I went AF. Thanks for reminding me where the drinking is really taking us.

Bean

[Chillgirl]

Eleven Weeks Later

Softy - Im so proud of you, you really are an inspiration to me. I often wonder how I would cope with grief and be able to remain AF and I hope I can be as true to myself as you have.

[JackieClaire]

Eleven Weeks Later

Softy,
My goodness how far you've come. You did your Mum proud.
J x
:l

[Audrey14]

Eleven Weeks Later

Dear Softy!!!

I'm sending you my condolence..about your mum..and believe me it's so good that you were YOU not under influence of AL..

My mum passed away 1 year and 7 months ago but i still have incrediable pain and gilt..for 3 years she suffered from vascular dementia (not alzchemeir but something a bit similar) - she had better and worse periods..we had very close relationship so i was angry, sad, desparate that i don't have my mum which i had before..i was drinking not solving my psychological problem and pain..
After funeral for 1 month i had deep depression..during days i was reading books only about death to understand, to cope..in the evenings i was drinking..i wanted to die too..
i know i can't change past but i'm so sorry that i missed so many good moments with my mum because of drinking.. thanks God she didn't know about my problem.. my behaviour, my reactions..
Shortly before she died i finally accepted her illness..i loved her so much..still do..we had nice evening and next day she had stroke and went to hospital.. i had hope but after 2 weeks she died..than i was not able to accept her death..just now i start to do..without narcosis of wine is hard but i have to do..

Sorry for my long story!! But i wanted to say that in sobriety you will cope with pain better..sorrow takes time and it's normal but when you cover it with as i said "narcosis" you have to do it all time or as it's now for me - pain is still inside me..because i didn't have pure mourning period.

Wishing you to stay strong and sober!!!

Audrey

[Softy]

Eleven Weeks Later

it has been easier to cope with mum's passing being sober than my dad's when i was permenantly ballooned

[mylife]

Eleven Weeks Later

Hello Softy,

We are dealing with Alzheimers with my mother in law and my husband is very close to her as well. Your post brought tears to my eyes. What a great job you did staying sober and I know your Mum is so proud of you.

Wishing you health and happiness. :l:h

[Kimberley]

Eleven Weeks Later

Softy, you have done amazingly well here. Something happening to my parents was the 'out' I used to give myself on my sobriety. I hope if and when it comes to it, I will show the strength and character that you have and deal with it sober. I know my parents would be so much prouder of me for doing that than if I selfishly wallowed in booze and self-pity. Your mum would be so proud of you - and so should you be. And as you, acknowledged, in REALITY boozing would make the whole process much worse in the end. You are an inspiration Softy - and don't you forget it!

K x

[Dewdrop]

Eleven Weeks Later

What a lovely post Softy, thank you :l

[vintage girl]

Eleven Weeks Later

Softy, I am so glad you made it through the day. Your attitude is amazing and your post is truly heartfelt and inspiring. Thank you for that, and thank you for all of your words of encouragement to others during what is a terrible time for you. May your darling Mum rest in peace, and may you enjoy many happy memories of your time with her. :l

[noodle]

Eleven Weeks Later

So sorry for your loss Softy, and THANK YOU so much for sharing your amazing journey and grief with us all, I'm sure many, like me have benefited so much from that. Like everyone else on here, SO PROUD of you :h, and grateful for the inspiration you've sprinkled our way.
The circle of life is inevitable, good and bad things will always happen, I guess we're all learning that doing it sober can make it that bit more bearable, and possible to handle it all without adding more problems and anguish into the mix.
Stay strong, you're amazing :l xxx

[madmans]

Eleven Weeks Later

Your Mother would be very proud of you Softy and you should feel proud also . keep on keeping on . MM

[damo180]

Eleven Weeks Later

Well done Softy.
You should be very proud of yourself.

All the Best

Damo

[coalfire]

Eleven Weeks Later

I am so glad to see this here Softy. I really hoped I would see it.

[coalfire]

Eleven Weeks Later

Kimberley;1098981 wrote: I hope if and when it comes to it, I will show the strength and character that you have....You are an inspiration Softy - and don't you forget it!

K x

Excellent Kimberly. I fully agree.