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[choice]

How do I handle a major trigger? I thought I was in the clear at almost 8 months AF. I'm so vunerable right now and very scared. I really can't drink I'm scared I won't be able to stop if I do. One bottle of wine wouldn't be enough tonight. I miss blacking out that is so screwed up... but I don't know how to cope with how I'm feeling... this is so challenging.

[hillsidetime]

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Hi Choice, sorry to hear that you are feeling scared and vulnerable. If you are really worried maybe you should write a list on small card, of the main reasons why you are sober, and why you want to be sober. Put that little card in your pocket. No matter where you go, if you need to read it, you have it. You can always use the washroom somewhere, and in private, read this list, and think a little bit.

Don't forget you can urge surf any situation. The urge will pass, like a large wave. It will come, and that is fine, but it will go. You can do it.

You are not alone, a lot of us miss blacking out, and getting bombed. I think for some of us, it is a coping mechanism to escape. For me, this solution never solved anything, it just got me into trouble. It was an avoidance technique, a learned habit, and very bad for my health. You have learned in the last 8 months, that you don't need these, and you don't want these.

Hang in there, you can do it. Fight. Hold fast.
Hill

[Lavande]

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Hi Choice,

You need to develop some new & healthier coping methods to get through these dark times.
One of my favorites these days is listening to a show at Hay House Radio - Listen Live to Hay House Authors
It really helps to distract me & not give so much attention to what is troubling me!

[DSLR]

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Hi choice,

I have only got 16 days AF, so can't even begin to image doing as well as you, but I am sure the last things you really want to do, if you think about it long and hard, is do the very thing you have been working so hard not to do for all that time?

Something someone told me years ago, I am not sure if it is a true story or not, but I am trying to use it more and more now when I get tempted and also for my new 'struggle' with a sugar craving!

Back in the 1950's (somewhere in the world, let say England) there was a lovely shiny safe in a bank with loads of cash in it (stick with me here!). The bank robber (the best one in the country at the time) easily accessed the building and entered the vault (a lot easier than now adays I would imagine!) Anyway, stuck to the front of the safe was a piece of paper, with just the word 'THINK' written on it. That stopped the robber in his tracks, he sat down and actually thought about what he was doing and the life he was leading. The next morning the bank manager foudn him still sitting in the vault and called the Police. When the police asked him why he hadn't rob the safe and more important, WHY was he still sat there for someone to find him, he just said' I have never just thought about what I do before and I don't actually want to risk my life or make my family unhappy again (not word for word obviously!).

So the point of the story when told to me, was just taking the time to 'stop and think' about it/drinking/smoking can help. It won't help all the time as there are some physical elements involved soemtimes, but it might be enough combined with surfing the urge to prevent you from taking that first sip?

Well sorry to have bored you but I thought it might help a bit?

Take care and you know everyone is here to support you when you need it.

[DoneDrinkin]

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Love it DSLR!

Steve

[vintage girl]

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DSLR;1100790 wrote: Hi choice,

I have only got 16 days AF, so can't even begin to image doing as well as you, but I am sure the last things you really want to do, if you think about it long and hard, is do the very thing you have been working so hard not to do for all that time?

Something someone told me years ago, I am not sure if it is a true story or not, but I am trying to use it more and more now when I get tempted and also for my new 'struggle' with a sugar craving!

Back in the 1950's (somewhere in the world, let say England) there was a lovely shiny safe in a bank with loads of cash in it (stick with me here!). The bank robber (the best one in the country at the time) easily accessed the building and entered the vault (a lot easier than now adays I would imagine!) Anyway, stuck to the front of the safe was a piece of paper, with just the word 'THINK' written on it. That stopped the robber in his tracks, he sat down and actually thought about what he was doing and the life he was leading. The next morning the bank manager foudn him still sitting in the vault and called the Police. When the police asked him why he hadn't rob the safe and more important, WHY was he still sat there for someone to find him, he just said' I have never just thought about what I do before and I don't actually want to risk my life or make my family unhappy again (not word for word obviously!).

So the point of the story when told to me, was just taking the time to 'stop and think' about it/drinking/smoking can help. It won't help all the time as there are some physical elements involved soemtimes, but it might be enough combined with surfing the urge to prevent you from taking that first sip?

Well sorry to have bored you but I thought it might help a bit?

Take care and you know everyone is here to support you when you need it.

I love this story DSLR!!!

Choice, you have done so well for eight whole months, you can do this. Hill is right about the urges passing. Hope you are okay :l

[choice]

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Thank you for the responses. :h
I slept well because of the valume. the urge to drink is still very strong. When feeling this way before I would start in the morning. I wish it would help. It doesn't. It makes it worse. I do need to find new ways to cope. I have a trainer and have gotten very focused on my health and fitness. I'm an artist and it's prolly time to paint. Sometimes art makes it worse though maybe it won't now that I'm sober. It's worth a shot. I think today I am going to proceed as if I have the flu and lay in bed and watch movies. I'm really not doing well. The advice and kind words are truly helpful thank you all.

[Beachbump]

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:lHi Choice, I am on day 38 AF en do not get urges and don't know what I will do when if/when I do get. Are there some emotional things happening that can be the reason - 8months is a long time to be AF - surely there must be a reason whu you getting urges now? Maybe think what happened the last few days that could be the reason? Is it a physical or emotional urge?

I'm also an artist and for me it helps to keep busy and paint. I'm also a smoker - when I paint I forget to smoke and don't think of a drink at all. If I had to lie in bed watching movies I will get bored and that is when my brain starts thinking about doing something more interesting or having
fun - and fun normally involves drinking...
But people differs and what helps the one does not help the other.

What are you painting? a Month or 2 before I quit AL I were so obsessed with alcohol that all my paintings have bottles of alcohol in it - now I'm sober and have to finish that paintings. I have to force myself to leave the bottles in it - because it is the reality of what I painted that time - good lesson for me looking back - maybe to try putting your feelings about AL and/or urges on canvas?

Best of luck and please stay strong!:l

[choice]

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Hi Beachbump,
I didn't have any cravings for a really long time and didn't understand what people meant. Your completely right it was emotional triggers regarding my dad. I'm all over the boards at the moment. I'm embarrassed about that but I was just so scared I'd throw in the towel and really really didn't want to.

Right now I'm painting boats. I've always been landlocked until now and just love how small row boats float on the ocean with the sun reflecting the light. Also I feel like I"m in my own little boat getting out of something. I'm kinda bobbing around at the moment. Other then that I've been interested in the bee hives here in New Zealand. I like the patterns and the whole concept of bee's working together. Today honestly my arm feels to heavy to work but I'm not worried about that.

Really I just need a lot of sleep. My emotional state has been knocked me out. If I can I'll try and go to yoga today. I really don't feel up for that either. I feel beat up and no one has even hit me or yelled at me. I'm not fighting with anyone. It's all fights that are going on inside of myself.

[vintage girl]

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choice;1101070 wrote: Hi Beachbump,
I didn't have any cravings for a really long time and didn't understand what people meant. Your completely right it was emotional triggers regarding my dad. I'm all over the boards at the moment. I'm embarrassed about that but I was just so scared I'd throw in the towel and really really didn't want to.

Right now I'm painting boats. I've always been landlocked until now and just love how small row boats float on the ocean with the sun reflecting the light. Also I feel like I"m in my own little boat getting out of something. I'm kinda bobbing around at the moment. Other then that I've been interested in the bee hives here in New Zealand. I like the patterns and the whole concept of bee's working together. Today honestly my arm feels to heavy to work but I'm not worried about that.

Really I just need a lot of sleep. My emotional state has been knocked me out. If I can I'll try and go to yoga today. I really don't feel up for that either. I feel beat up and no one has even hit me or yelled at me. I'm not fighting with anyone. It's all fights that are going on inside of myself.

Hi choice, I highlighted the bit in bold because I think that this is the best thing you could be doing right now. Post post and post some more, anything that helps you. Has it crossed your mind that you are helping others by posting and staying AL free throughout what is obviously a very difficult time for you?

Sending a hug, and hoping you feel better soon x

[noodle]

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THINK

THINK - awesome ! x
Choice & BB, paintings the way to go!
I didn't do any for a couple of weeks (not at all like me) as my head was all over the place, and couldn't work out where the hell I was coming from looking at (mainly dross) the stuff I'd churned out whilst off my face over the last year or so. The last week I've just been sat sketching and planning (again not my style) and am really excited by new ideas and techniques that I can't wait to get going on. So much of me still feels alien, doing so much 'normal' stuff whilst sober is sure getting some used to, at times nearly impossible, but art wise, it's becoming my one true passion once again, as it felt so long ago, before booze. I hope fellow artists are starting to see positive changes too, and feel their work can only get better xxx