How to start out?

[c'mon]

Hi everybody, I feel a bit at a loss, not knowing whether to write here or at the story area.. or not writing at all as I feel I'm exposing myself..
I actually feel odd writing here although I've admited to myself many many months ago, years, that I have a serious problem...
I've just ordered the download book of this site, hoping to receive it soon.
I'm a 'secret' evening/night drinker at home, have been for about ten years now, the problem being nowadays that I need to 'knock' myself out to be able to sleep -no problem whatsoever, for the moment to not drink any kind of alcohol during daytime, it doesn't atract me whatsoever, it is only in the evening when alone at home. It all started then, ten years ago when I was administered sleeping pills because of personal problems, with my then husband, found they didn't work except if I added some alcohol into the math... once I was taken off the sleeping pills found that the alcohol still helped for the sleeping/anti-anxiety effects... so started with a simple can of beer... wonderful effect... it started going up until it reached four cans of beer... when I think of it it actually sounds ridiculous nowadays... four cans of beer and I slept like bliss!! WOW!
Nowadays I drink about ten cans of beer in the evening to get the same effect or if not half a bottle of whiskey to get the same effect,... I have trouble getting up in the morning, my breath smells of alcohol, I have bags under my eyes, I wake up feeling depressed, tired...
I have a good job, I am quite good looking, have no partner at the moment and scared to have one that will 'discover' that I seem to exist on my evening alcohol intake... I get panicky if I don't have beer or whiskey at home when I finish work... I enjoy my job, have good friends, but my anxiety level seems to shoot up out of the blue in the evenings and I resort to alcohol -drank for sometime white wine as I had an intolerance food test that said I should not go near barley for a time (beer, whiskey),... the white wine left me dehydrated totally, ... I'm back on beer and whiskey after a few dehydrating months of white wine.
My father was an alcoholic, I think I only knew him sober maybe ten times out of all my life, I'm scared somehow to think that this is a genetical illness -kind of 'you've got it, stick with it'.
I also smoked cigaretes far too much, started late (middle teens, the alcohol was more in my early thirties) but got hooked inmediately. After twenty years I decided to go to a psychotherapy to quit smoking in November and was great,!!! I quit smoking then and still doing well. The same psychotherapist is treating me for alcohol adiction and... it is not being that easy... she herself admits it is not so easy...
I have been interested in reading here about the maaaaaany issues,... milk thistle, L-glutamine, specialy Baclofen...
Under psychotherapy but in need of physical advice, as the psycho has been wonderful with cigaretes but.. I'm writing while sipping a bit of whiskey... not drunk though, that is not the problem, thee problem is that I seem to need to drink to be able to relax to be able to sleep... And more than once I've ended up over the top this way! I'm scared that I seem to be needing to be 'drunk' to be able to sleep,.... makes sense?
Hope it does.
Sorry for long post.

[Lavande]

How to start out?

Hi c'mon!

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place, glad you found us

Your first paragraph sounded like a description of me when I arrived here 2+ years ago!
My poison of choice was white wine & didn't care how it dehydrated me. It was useful in the beginning to help me unwind aftera busy & stressful day. Initially it did help me to sleep too. But over the years the glass or two became 10 or 12 - I don't really know but it was too much!!!

The MWO book is full of good info about the program & very helpful! You also need to make a good plan for yourself, something that works just for you. Look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for lots of great ideas.

I highly recommend the Hypno CDs also available in the Health store. They help me learn to relax without AL for the first time in about 10 years. They also were instrumental in helping me change my thinking about drinking AL!

It's interesting that you were able to quit smoking using the psychotherapist. I went to one group hypnosis session years ago & easily quit for about a week. Obviously one session wasn't enoough for me as they claimed it would be. I did successfully quit smoking a couple of months after I quit drinking though.

Please feel free to post in the Newbies Nest thread for lots of continuing support

Wishing you the best on your journey!
Lav

[DSLR]

How to start out?

Hi c'mon, welcome to MWO and nice to meet you.

Like Lav and Molly said a lot of what you feel about sleeping was the same for me as well, but my AL of choice was wine. I am at the beginning of my AL free journey and some nights, like molly said as well, I still don't sleep very well. But at least I get up feeling tired but not like death warmed up and 21 days into I can start to see a much better future!

MWO is a great community for support and advice and you write as much as you feel you need to , just getting it 'out' can really help sometimes.

Prehaps come and join us in the Newbies Nest where there are a lot of people at different stages, who share their feelings and experinces, which I find really great to 'normalise' how I feel sometimes, as I couldn't actually remember what it felt like not to drink when I first started and that can be a bit scary in itself. You're not along C'mon everyone is here for you:l

[mario]

How to start out?

Hi & welcome c,mon to mwo,This is a great community here with lots of good advice and support,We can all relate to what your going through as we all have/are been there,keep posting & sharing your thoughts and reading as many posts as you can and you will see you are far from being alone,There is a tool box in the monthly abstenence thread which will help you out in the start of this journey,you can do this.hope to see you around the boards.

[Jolie]

How to start out?

C'mon - :welcome:

My story is very similar to yours - drank secretly for years only after coming home from work. Drinking increased until I was just so sick of my life the way it was - then I found MWO. You have to find the right plan that works for you, whether it be the supplements, meds, cd's, or just reading and posting on this site. I found L-glutamine to be helpful in the beginning with cravings. Try and find something to occupy your time when you normally would be drinking.

Good luck to you and hope to see you around!

[c'mon]

How to start out?

Hi everyone, I'm sorry I never really got back to writing here. I've been visiting on and off and reading a lot here and around other sources.
I nearly posted last summer, about June/July because I started full on with a nutritional programme with the L. Glutamine, vit B,... etc,... and then when I decided to add a LOT of vitamine C I was actually AF for a good two or three weeks with no effort whatsoever!!!!
I then met up with my brother who came to spend the day, he lives abroad -he doesn't drink, he's vegetarian and a workaholic, leads a perfectly normal healthy life- and for some odd reason it put me off balance!!!
So I realised that probably it was my frame of mind PLUS the vitamines that was helping. Nevertheless I do find the vit's help a lot in reducing the amount I drink, yet I seem to have a lot of ups and downs. Somedays are great, no alcohol, others very little and then suddenly a whole lot like in the old days!!!
Anyway I just felt I would update, I'm trying out again the Kudzu which I found very helpful but will consult in a thread about it as I purchase it in powder form, started also the programme of the CD's which I only followed for a couple of days when they arrived, don't even understand myself why I din't stick to them as I quit smoking thanks to the psychotherapyst I'm pretty sure they will help enormously, and I bought some time ago the vitamines Hangover Formula from Source Naturals which I've started taking and find they curb the desire for alcohol - considering the ingredients it has I'm testing them as a before drinking formula rather than an after (hangover) formula.
All in all, although I still think I drink too much, I'm very grateful to this forum for all the reading and experimenting I've done has made me cut down on drinking, understanding myself a lot more and HEY I even spent about two weeks or three AF!!! For me that is HOPE.:H

:thanks:

[thelaststraw]

How to start out?

I have a new saying. Wanna hear it?

MWO is the way to go. Repeat lots. I think I just thought of it. Am I stealing anyone's saying?

Sounds like a good saying to me.

-S-

[Snapdragon]

How to start out?

The drinking to sleep theme resonates with me. I thought I drank to help me sleep for years and years. I would fall into a drunken stupor, wake in the early hours needing the loo and a drink of water and then toss and turn for the rest of the night (usually sweating prefusely) and look exhausted and puffy eyed for the rest of the day.

Since giving up alcohol, I now go to bed at around 11pm and am out for the count til morning - 8 hours solid sleep (don't even need to wake for the loo anymore!) no more sweating and waking up in soaking sheets - and I don't have puffy eyes anymore!!

[jenniech]

How to start out?

Me three!!! I would pass out for a good 3 to 4 hours but then wake up having to use bathroom, soaked in sweaty sheets (sounds enticing, doesn't it?:H) Then toss and turn for HOURS.

Anyway, I don't think drunken sleep is real sleep at all. I think it is the body's way of saying STOP DRINKING>>>YOU ARE POIS0NING THE ONLY BODY YOU HAVE. The sweats is a way the body purges the intoxcins (sp?). The tossing and turning is the result of WAY TO MUCH sugar in your body.

I am blissfully happy sleeping now!! After about 20 days sober, I started to really crank up the hours of sleep. Now at almost 80 days my problem is that I have so much reading to do at night and since I am sober, I am able to stay up to do it. I have to be better at just turning out the light for some good shut eye.

Welcome back! Head over to the newbies nest for some great support and advice.

[Siren136]

How to start out?

Hi all, Has anyone noticed that they (or a partner) snore less after being sober? My husband and I are currently in separate bedrooms due to my snoring. It would be great if we could change that, but he needs his sleep. I obviously can't tell if I'm snoring in my sleep!

[jenniech]

How to start out?

ABSOLUTELY the snoring will DECREASE!!!
While drunk, the muscles collapse in the throat - hence snoring.
I would ONLY snore when I was drunk ..... really drunk......

[BHOG]

How to start out?

I noticed the same changes when i stopped drinking...better sleep, not midnight bathroom runs, no sweating, no snoring.
The lack of snoring was one of Mrs. BHOG's first favorable impressions!

[K9Lover]

How to start out?

Hi C'mon!

Wow your story sounds like mine. I only drank in private...at home, alone. Just sat there night after night quietly (sometimes not so quietly) getting drunk. Then I'd stumble off to bed (usually tripping and falling along the way). Sure I'd pass out, but I'd wake up at 3am with HORRIBLE anxiety and sweats and regret and shame. I'd scramble to piece together the night before, check my phone for calls/texts/messages...I'd have to wonder who I pissed off or who I was horribly mean to. Usually I was just thankful that I was waking up (or coming to, I should say) in my own bed, and not a jail cell! When you have to be thankful for that...something is definitely wrong! LOL

Regarding passing out at night as opposed to sleeping, I will never forget what I read one time. When you pass out, that is your body making a decision between keeping you AWAKE and keeping you ALIVE, because at that point, it can no longer do BOTH. Pretty scary huh? When I think of all the nights my body had to shut down so I could stay alive....ugh.

Anyway, sorry to carry on. I just want you to know you're not alone in this. A huge congrats on quitting the cigs too! Thats the beast I am still trying to slay! Please stick around and let us know how you're doing!

K9

[c'mon]

How to start out?

Thank you all for the welcome back!!
MollyKa, obviously I can't agree more with you, it is absolutely a question of getting the frame of mind sorted out to want to quit, and I do think it is great to know that once you have decided that you need to quit or moderate there are valuable tools out there that help that mind of ours to restore quicker. That's why I'm really grateful I found this site!
I've started listening to the CD's finally every day, fell asleep on the sofa with the hypnotic cues, think it is a good sign that it is relaxing. Taking the kudzu, L-Glutamine and the Hangover Formula (as a before drinking vitamin boost), and to be honest I've only had one drink one evening, didn't feel like morel!!! I'm not sleeping hardly a wink, I did sweat some the first night, but not the others, just don't sleep much, but I'm doing fine cause although I'm tired my head is clear instead of fuzzy. I do think about whether to have a drink or not when evening comes by but let time pass reading around here and there and the thought goes away.
Regarding everyones advice about having a plan... I hadn't really thought about that when I started to experiment with supplements, etc... I now realise, specially thanks to you all mentioning it that it is obvious I have to keep some track of want I'm doing, what seems to be working best, etc... So I'm now taking notes, and I'll keep an eye on any emotional situations, whether good like when meeting up with my brother, or bad like stress at work may put me off balance to correct them as soon as possible.
I'm still to work out if I want to moderate or try AF, for the moment I'm aiming to moderate just for my peace of mind -kind of if I think of not drinking ever again I freak out and my anxiety just shoots up and makes me want to drink even more!!!
Thanks for all the support :thanks:
:l