In Chains' plan and blog thread

[vintage girl]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Loving this, well done on day 3 Inchy! It's so good to hear that your skin is getting better too. If AL gives you side effects from that then that is a really good incentive not to touch it!

The sleepless ness is a pain in the arse, but even so, better to be tired than hungover tired, thats just horrible! I took herbal sleep aids at the start, (Kalms, Quiet Life). I don't really know if they work or it was a placebo effect but they did seem to help a bit.

Looking forward to reading more, you have a great plan and are being accountable by posting here, so well done my friend !!! :l

[Doggygirl]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Good going on Day 3 Inchy! I love what you said about having your plan. It really helps me to have it all in writing so on a difficult day, I can easily capture my focus. Good for you!!!

And you are so right - AL is not our friend. Friends don't do that to each other.

DG

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 3 part 2

so I'm nearing the end fo day 3 and it has been, as I imagined it would be, hard. I shan't go into great detail, but needless to say that as I was beginning to feel my probelm was not as big as my mind had made it, my body chose to remind me not to take it lightly. But here I am, an hour from the end of day 2, fully aware that I may not sleep, staring once more into the most incredibley unpleasant void - 3 days running I have reached this time and found myself teetering on the edge of some great and horrible misery. What a horrible place to fine myself in.

I made a to do list for the day, I suppose purposefulyl over ambitious though my disappointment at beign so far from its completion so late onyl makes me feel worse. I feel, suddenly, very alone, very useless, very frightened. Every worry returns to me afresh at this time, made worse by the idea that though i may go to bed shortly, i may also lie awake with those fears until the small hours. I have no answer. Another day done, another to go, another tiny step that might one day make some of thsi pain go away.

xIC

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 3 part 2 and then some

so a moment ago i was sat on my own tryign to figure out a way to describe how i feel, to put into words the darkness thats fallen on me. And then I stumbled across it. I feel as though I was punched several hours ago in the stomach, hard, like I was fighting drunk and adrenalin and alcohol kept away the pain, and now I'm comign roudn and can just feel the bruise and the ache, but there's no punch to explain it. And in a way perhaps its true, except the punch is the bad thigns that ahve happened, the two years of neglected emotions that nwo finally i see with sober eyes - but thats all they are. Feelings, disembodied from their events, drifting one by one from the recesses of my mind to sit right before my eyes, a series of unanswerable questions and accusations. But what to do?

[mario]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

In chains just jumping in here to wish you all the best, good plan to have in action as you can read back over your progress, keep it up.

[Doggygirl]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Hi Inchy. How are you today? Hang in there. The first few days to a week are so hard - your brain is going to be screaming at you to give it a drink. Giving in to that just perpetuates the cycle. I know you already know that, but hopefully reaffirming will help if you are struggling today.

IT GETS BETTER!!! Really it does. I was a totally hopeless daily drinker. If I can do it, so can you. :l

DG

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 4

So after a somewhat morbid day 3 I find myself in a much more positive, and incredibly busy day 4! Just done a half hours 'revision' of a few favoruite songs on bass and woke up to the always beautiful sound of Blind Melon - Sleepyhouse. Got myself a huge array of different juices and sparkling juice drinks to try over the next week or so and I'm really looking forward to it actually - oddly I find I don't want the taste of alcohol, or its effects really, I just want somethignt o numb the effects of -not having it-.

So another positive note, today i said something I thought I would never say. 'I love my skin'. This cream is doing wonders for my skin physically and for my confidence and just general quality of life. To me thats a worthwhile trade off and I'd willingly suffer each of the next 45 days as I did yesterday if I can free myself of the skin trouble thats been upsetting me for so long. Though thankfully it seems the evils of hump day have subsided somewhat.

Anway I shall return with updates later if anythign interesting happens, if not I must away to my mighty to do list! Thanks to Mario and DG for your continued support

xIC

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 5

So, wow, its day 5 here! Feeling... unusual. Very distant so probably won't say much about the day. Kept myself busy, drunk some juice -did not watch the wedding- and learnt a little bach on my bass to entertain myself for the evening whilst watching kung fu panda - how is that for multi-tasking? worked out a timetable to revise for my exams and created a wake up playlist as well - stuff I've been meanign to do to fit in with my plan. I now ahve a choice of 19 songs to wake up to in the morning...

and apparently a boyfriend instead of a fiance... well that sucks.

[vintage girl]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Inchy, first of all, I wish I had thought of doing this, but I don't think I would have been as downright honest as you, so kudos my friend.

Secondly, I am so glad your skin is so much better, just a thought here because I know you are on the new cream, but do you think staying off the AL might have something to do with that?

Thirdly, and I don't want to say too much about it, but sorry your relationship status has changed. I hope it all works out for you.

And last but not least, you are doing great! Remember, just one day at a time hun, the more AL free days you clock up, things become a whole lot clearer in your head.

You are doing an awesome job. :l

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

thanks VG, i'm sure me and my future husband/boyfriend will sort things out, we're a very strong couple, its just ufnortuante we both lead rather turbulent lives, especially lately.

also I think drinkign elss does have some effect, but this drastic change is definitely due to the cream as I have been AF before with nothing even approaching these results. The sheer improvement in my quality of life has just been amazing, I feel like a woman again

[DSLR]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Hi IC well done, you are doing well and had a better sleep?

I am pleased that you feel so good from your skin improving. I am disappointed that after nearly 30 days without AL mine hasn't changed at all (on my face) and makes me very depressed. Can I ask did you get the cream from your Dr please? Would you mind me asking what it is, or perhaps you could send me a PM with it? Many thanks in advance and wishing you a good AF Saturday.

[mario]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Hi inchains, your doing fine, keep to your plans & goals. you can & will do this.

[Doggygirl]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Hi inchy, how are you today? I am so happy to read about the improvements with your skin! You sound so excited and I am thrilled for you!

I hope you and your BF get things sorted out.

One thing is for sure, our options and opportunities in life are a lot more abundant without the ball and chain of AL weighing us down. That is true I think, wherever life leads us.

Hope you are having a good day!

Oh PS - I watched the wedding and was very entertained by the hats!!

DG

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

day 7 = one week!

So hello to eveyrbody still watching me on day 7, going to start posting my bass set list up each day as well, track my musical progress and personal progress in one place, hows that for efficiency?

So today we had Again and Rain When I Die by my name sake Alice in Chains, Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana, Californication by The Red Hot Chili Peppers, For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica and Sleep Now in the Fire by rage Against the Machine

So back to AF news: For those who wer worried by my last post, I spent yesterday night with the fiance and we had a good talk about things relating to our marriage and the situation is for now at least somewhat better. The main reason the engagement was called off is because he keeps delaying the wedding without consulting me, now I knwo for practical reasons we're nto going to be getting married soon but, in his usual way he freaked out and made it seem far more bleak than it was, upset me and ended the engagement. I calmed him down yesterday, we talked, and I think things are now under control (phew).

7 days today anyway! Out of interest does anybody here have views on the use of cannabis when not drinking, as I must confess I do occasionally have a bit of a smoke and was wondering what the generla view on it is. And I don't mean tell me the health stuff by the way, I'm aware of the facts, I just like to be naughty now and again xD So 3 weeks til I leave college for good, goign to ahve alot of temptation coming up I have realised - end of school parties, a friends 21st and numerous summer get togethers, planning to stay strong and be here every day of May come whatever may!

xIC

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

thanks Zen, yeah I'm not a big fan of pot for use more than once every couple of weeks, just means I don't have to watch my drunk/stoned friends whilst sober, I just wanted to get peoples opinion on it out of interest really as I know technically if you have a joint you're nto sober but still AF, all very confusing xD

Side note: I'm gonna be posting some weird stuff I found from a journal I wrote for a couple of days over christmas on here later, absolutely insane ramblings from drunken times late at night...